relationship issues and UC

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chicagoatc
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 133
   Posted 12/3/2007 2:42 PM (GMT -7)   
  Hi everyone!  I have been reading a few posts on family/romantic issues and have been having some issues in my own relationship with my boyfriend lately.  I just wonder if anyone has ever heard anything like a statistic on how many couples where one partner has UC divorce or break up because of the stress of having a chronic illness?  Just wondering because I can imagine that it must be higher than the average divorce rate.  Any suggestions from anyone on how to make it easier on the non-UC person?  Between the frustrations and the steroids, etc., I know it can't be fun.
 
Thanks,
Becky
29 years old; diagnosed since 1997 (but I've had it forever)
 
Current meds:
-I was awaiting a Humira study.  Now, ironically, they say I'm "too well" for the study now! :(
-Prednisone starting at 40 mg.  I'm at 20 now.
-Asacol 12/day
-Failed Remicade (8/06-8/07)
-Calcium (for my steroid-affected bones)
-Prenatal vitamins (for the extra stuff, not for pregnancy)
-B vitamin complex
-Miralax (because surprisingly I need it sometimes)


princesa
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 2198
   Posted 12/3/2007 4:15 PM (GMT -7)   
I've never seen any statistics, but a chronic health problem surely does put extra stress on a relationship. Some folks have no idea what "in sickness and in health" really means. My marriage broke up, in part, because of my illness. My ex tried in his own way, but he really didn't have it in him to be truly supportive. He was at the racetrack when I had to be rushed to the ER when I was first diagnosed. He claimed he wasn't a "nursemaid." My family was livid when they saw how sick I was and the state the house was in after I'd been bedfast for a couple of weeks.
 
Thank heavens I've since remarried a wonderful, caring and supportive guy. I was in remission when we were dating and first married, but since I've had a mild flare lately, I couldn't ask for a more considerate and helpful partner. I'd advise anyone who's not already in a long-term, committed relationship to be very careful about their choice of partners and very open and honest about the possibilities of UC flares on the front end.
Diagnosed with ulcerative colitis spring 1999
 
Therapeutic dose sulfasalazine, back on a pred taper for first flare in years. Down to 10 mg and feeling much better.
Probiotics, l-glutamine and fish oil caps. George's aloe vera juice and Mucosaheal.
 
 


jujub
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Mar 2003
Total Posts : 10405
   Posted 12/3/2007 6:26 PM (GMT -7)   
I agree that open and honest communication is really important. My husband is wonderful, he took care of the house and yard and me when I was so sick, all while working full time. The only time we ever really had a problem was when I had a really bad spell and didn't tell him. I was thinking he was probably sick to death of hearing about my poo and my pain, so I'd just keep it to myself. I nearly passed out in the bathroom one day, and he was furious with me. He accused me of "shutting him out." I learned from that, and now he always knows if I'm feeling sub-par, because what I've found out about him is that it scares him if I get sick and don't tell him.

Really explaining your fears and feelings can be very helpful. If your partner responds badly to that, he or she probably isn't the right one for you.
Judy
 
Moderate to severe left-sided UC diagnosed 2001.
 
Current meds are Colazal, Azathioprine and Remicade. Completely off steroids for more than a year now! In remission since April, 2006. Remicade has been my wonder drug.
 
Now tapering Azathioprine, please pray for me.
 
"If you spend your time second-guessing your past decisions, you'll never have time to enjoy today."


Sideshowbob
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2005
Total Posts : 698
   Posted 12/3/2007 8:21 PM (GMT -7)   
My wife rocks and is super supportive. Weve been together for just under 17 years, I've had UC for almost 3, and it hasn't affected our relationship. As for the romantic issues, well I'm a guy, so I would pretty much have to be in a body cast and tied down to not be good to go.
35 year old Male, Husband, Father of the best three kids in the universe.
First Flare was February 2005. Diagnosed June 2005-left-sided Colitis, suspect it has since spread. Started 4000 mg Oral Salofalk June 2005-stopped January 2007. Remission until November 2006. Been in a flare to various degrees since November 2006 to February 2007. Currently in remission.
Presently on 0 mg Prednisone-down from 60 mg!
Weekly 4000 mg Salofalk enemas.
Daily 4000 mg Salofalk oral.
Started Omeprazole 20 mg February 2007.
Co-Moderator-UC Forum


pb4
Elite Member


Date Joined Feb 2004
Total Posts : 20577
   Posted 12/3/2007 9:59 PM (GMT -7)   
I don't know if there are stats specifically on UC and divorce but apparently the divorce rate is 50% which I believe is all lumped into health issues, infidelity and money troubles being the most common reasons for divorce.

:)
My bum is broken....there's a big crack down the middle of it!  LOL  :)

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