Well - it certainly is not easy emotionally on the "victim" and those close to you especially when you are cranky. I have been with my husband for 39 years and he is the most easy going easy to get along with kind of guy.
This UC has certainly affected his mood and personality which is so totally understandable. I am not complaining but it was tough for me to accept initially as I was not used to his short fuse and total change in personality at times. It affected our social life for sure - we are retired and very active and he became a recluse for 2-3 months at his all time low. When the pain was so bad he could not even comprehend my talking to him.
Even now we have to live our life differently. You basically plan and build in enough time to do what you gotta do before going out the door. Eating was a challenge for a long time - at least we can go out now with friends. A bathroom is needed not long afterwards but at least he can get through a meal for the most part.
The big turning point for me was finding Healing Well and being blown away from all the information and honesty being shared here. I am the "secretary" and information gatherer and advocate on his behalf. However in that process it gave me an in-depth understanding and I gained a lot more tolerance and sympathy for what he was going through.
Still..............on occasion if he is being a bit of a "jerk" I let him know too. I will take so much and let alot slide as it is not so commonplace anymore.
With all the darn meds he is on the last thing he wanted was another pill for depression even though he was given one when discharged from the hospital last May. He basically manages it well and has improved so much from the rock bottom he hit. Maybe something like that may be a help for you. You have a lot on your plate when you have to work and come home to whatever problems there may be there with a family and family stuff that goes on and needs to be dealt with.
Also if your wife has any time at all to peruse this forum it may help her too. Of course - it is necessary for you to explain, apologize and reinforce how much you love her and the kids and get her to realize just how tough it is for you physically and emotionally. As many here have said so many people out there just have no idea how debilitating this is....most think it is a flu like diahreaa thing and you'll "get over it" soon. If it was only that simple.
Good Luck - coping with this is a real tough part of it too. This community is a great place to vent, listen to others, get info from, compare notes, and on occasion get a good laugh here and there. No question is too personal or embarrasing either.
In the beginning I would go to bed at night and relate various info and stories to my husband to keep him up to speed on things. I also make him aware of some of the people who have it a lot tougher than he has it which gives him a better appreciation of where he is at too.
Hope this helps in some small way.
61 yr old male~Colitis 1st diagnosed Jan '05-cleared up within a few wks. Flared again in May '06 (now UC) & hospitalized 5/07-currently heading towards a remission. Osteopena of spine from prednisone DX 8/07 Oct 07 feeling quite normal most days. 150mg Imuran 2 1/2 mg prednisone & tapering, 12 Asacol, Lidocaine Hydrochloride Jelly 2%,multi vitamin, iron 1X day, DanActive, chewable calcium, Prilosec 20mg, enalapril 10mg, glipizide 5 mg, zocor 40 mg, baby aspirin, (Fentanyl pain patch 50mg 72 hrs Morphine Sulf 15 mg twice daily)Cortifoam enema PM, Canasa suppositiry AM, folic acid 1mg, Fosamax 1x month