Lately I have been very down about myself and not feeling sexy or really wanting sex at all. My face has blown up w/the prednisone and I put on about 10 pounds (already had some extra junk in my trunk before that.).
I can't really comment on the other things going on but the self esteem, I try to work very hard on it (when someone compliments me, I joke and say, "I Know") and I don't know if you do this or not but I have a friend who is very pretty could maybe lose 20 pounds and have a perfect body (in her mind) and is down on herself to her husband a lot, always saying how she is fat and how can he stand it and just always putting herself down. I have never done that w/my husband except lately a few comments about how bad I am feeling about myself and I don't even like myself saying it. I just never wanted him to say one day, you know what she is right, she really is blah, blah, blah. Though there is no excuse for cheating. I told my husband right from the start, don't do me any favors, if you don't want me someone else will, so if you find yourself in a postion let me know and let me go. That's just how I feel.
Also, I don't tell my husband all my symptoms, b/c I don't want to think of him thinking of my bleeding, diarreah, mucousy, cramping, hemmorhoid anus that looks like garbage. I know that is stupid but how I feel. Though this has only been the past few months and when intially flaring in over 7 years of UC and I think once off the pred I will be back to myself again.
I guess the best piece of advice I can give is you need to take care of you and start feeling good about yourself and do what you need to do and he needs to take care of his issues and take it from there. For yourself, go get a mani/pedi, new haircut and some highlights a new purse and some shoes and a new outfit too, that always makes me feel good and if you can't do all of it. I get a mani for $13 + tip and they dip my hand in paraffin wax and make my nails so pretty, it always uplifts me and it's so relaxing. Do one thing for yourself a week or a month or something, take a long hot bath with a glass of wine and a good book. In your situation I would recommend reading Tara Road by Maeve Binchy, recently read it and it's about a woman whose husband had affairs and she rebuilt her life and it's a positive spin.
hope this helped somewhat, didn't mean to go too much about me.
Major Flare Sept/Oct 07 ~ working on remission almost there
UC Diagnosed March 2000 (30 cenitmeters)
Azathioprine 200mg 1xday nightly;Hydrocortisone e's tapering, Calcium and Vit D 500mg 3xday, Multi Vit, Folic Acid 400mg 2xday, Probiotics.
Minimal Change Disease (Kidney Disorder) Diagnosed Sept 2007
Prednisone 60/40mg alt days 1xday, Simvastatin 20mg 1xday, Diovan 160mg 2xday. Potassium 600mg 2xday, Fosomax 70mg 1xweek. MCD may be from hypersensitivty to 5ASA drugs.