Hi pannc, what a scary experience! How long ago did this event take place? Did the doctor put you on an aspirin regimen or other blood thinner since the thought it may have been a clot?
I'm not sure I know what to say, but I think it is so awesome that you are still here and with no permanent damage!
I think perhaps what you are experiencing is some type of post traumatic stress, from the very stressful and traumatic heart attack you experienced, so this is completely understandable. As they say, time is the best healer. Perhaps as time passes, you will start feeling better and sure of yourself again.
It has taken me a while to heal psychologically from the trauma of having my body fail me as well. Like you, I was very athletic and ate an extremely healthy diet. My situation was a congenital heart defect that gave me serious symptoms and complications. Almost 4 months after the procedure to close the PFO, I am finally feeling better mentally and emotionally from this ordeal. And this, mainly after I saw the cardio this past week and he told me my PFO was closed (from an echo with bubble study) and gave me the all clear to get back to my regular exercise regimen. Trust me, I didn't just take his word for it, I asked him all sorts of questions and we discussed the results of echos and TEEs and other tests. After 15 minutes or so, I realized that I could trust what he was saying and I could start trusting my body and my doctors again (I had also lost faith in doctors from my recent experience). Rebuilding the trust in your body takes time, but hopefully you will get there.
Of course, there are no guarantees. Something could happen again to you or to me at any moment, the key is to me mindful and aware of your symptoms but to stop worrying that something is going to happen. Hopefully, with time you can achieve this. I am just starting to achieve this now. Just trust that if anything ever happens again that you will have the same presence of mind you had the last time.
I'm not sure this is helpful to you, but I wanted to at least try and respond and to let you know that you indeed are not alone. Many of us on this forum have gone through some trauma from our hearts. As I get better and become more active I find myself spending less time on the forum. Hopefully, others will respond and share their experiences as well.
I sincerely hope you start feeling better.