Hi, Newbie here. Suffered a Stemi heart attack 12 weeks ago....

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New Member

Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 2/6/2009 5:57 PM (GMT -6)   
....and I feel so lost.  I just don't feel like myself.  I'm afraid of being alone, although currently (and formerly) in treatment for depression, anxiety and PTSD, I feel like I've really sunk into a funk.  I feel unsafe and damaged.  I have times that I cry for hours at a time or sleep way too much.  Now I know the depression part, but if youre already depressed and in treatment how do you cope? 
Everytime I have a bout of heartburn, I am stopped dead in my tracks wondering if it will escallate into the heart attack I had. 
How you you get over the impending fear of this repeating itself?
Thanks for your replys.

New Member

Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 2/7/2009 8:40 AM (GMT -6)   
Selmer thanks for the reply. I didn't go into detail as I wasn't really sure if I would get any relies.

It was a code Stemi which was a 100% blockage. This came out of the blue and due to the severe pain I had called 911 within 2 minutes. I was shocked, my cholest: 134, blood sugar: low 80's and blood pressure has never been high, even during pregnancies. I was under a lot of stress but took myself out of the corporate jungle about 5 years ago.

It started with severe heartburn which was my clue because I had recently started taking something to keep that in check, approx 3 mos prior. Before I could walk to the aspirin bottle the pain in my left, then right, then chest kicked in. I knew I had to make it to the front door which is metal and unlock it, which is where I literally collasped.

Exercise has always been my passion, playing city/state adult soccer (indoor and out) for 13 years, runner, weight lifting, and social racquetball, basketball and volleyball. This didn't stop until my late 40's at which time I took up yoga, stretching, walking and daily stomach crunches (everyday for 20 years on the crunches). My diet is not an issue, I allow myself junk food twice a month. Mostly oatmeal, salads, chicken, veggies and the occasional steak.

Once at the hospital they performed stint surgery in record time. Other arteries appear normal. In fact the Cardio doc tells me that because of my physical condition and quick reaction, he doesn't expect to see any permanent damage when I see him again this month. Had I been a McD's couch potato, I may not have made it. That and the timing. If I had waited, or lived a longer distance from the nearest hospital, it could have been fatal. But he really couldn't tell me any more, perhaps a blood clot he says.

I have researched. But this 'event' has caused a sense of impending doom. Depression, anxiety and PTSD is something I was and still am being treated for. Since the 'event' I'm afraid to be alone, and have had some really depressed days, crying or staying in bed. I guess I just feel so damaged. I never expected to experience something like this with my life habits, and no family history.

It was recommend to me by a nurse that maybe I should join a chat group regarding this issue and maybe it would help me feel less alone.

Thats my story Selmer.

New Member

Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 2/7/2009 7:22 PM (GMT -6)   
Thanks again Selmer. I have eliminated the top 10 high risk foods, and don't eat fried foods at all, with the exception of the occasional catfish and hushpuppys maybe once a year.

I have never feared death, I consider myself a very spiritual person and fully understand this is the cycle of life. However maybe you hit the trigger, maybe I fear that my body has failed me and I am in a panic that it can happen again. And faced with the reality of that, it has triggered this impending doom I am struggling with. I'm only 58 and I didn't expect to face that path quite so early.

I will check into the authors you suggested as well as a local chat group. Can't hurt, seems like these are commom residual side effects to near death experiences.

I am very sorry for you losses. Do take care and thanks again for your time.

Regular Member

Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 113
   Posted 2/15/2009 2:09 PM (GMT -6)   

Hi pannc, what a scary experience!  How long ago did this event take place?  Did the doctor put you on an aspirin regimen or other blood thinner since the thought it may have been a clot?

I'm not sure I know what to say, but I think it is so awesome that you are still here and with no permanent damage!

I think perhaps what you are experiencing is some type of post traumatic stress, from the very stressful and traumatic heart attack you experienced, so this is completely understandable.  As they say, time is the best healer.  Perhaps as time passes, you will start feeling better and sure of yourself again. 
It has taken me a while to heal psychologically from the trauma of having my body fail me as well.  Like you, I was very athletic and ate an extremely healthy diet.  My situation was a congenital heart defect that gave me serious symptoms and complications.  Almost 4 months after the procedure to close the PFO, I am finally feeling better mentally and emotionally from this ordeal.  And this, mainly after I saw the cardio this past week and he told me my PFO was closed (from an echo with bubble study) and gave me the all clear to get back to my regular exercise regimen.  Trust me, I didn't just take his word for it, I asked him all sorts of questions and we discussed the results of echos and TEEs and other tests.  After 15 minutes or so, I realized that I could trust what he was saying and I could start trusting my body and my doctors again (I had also lost faith in doctors from my recent experience).  Rebuilding the trust in your body takes time, but hopefully you will get there.
Of course, there are no guarantees.  Something could happen again to you or to me at any moment, the key is to me mindful and aware of your symptoms but to stop worrying that something is going to happen.  Hopefully, with time you can achieve this.  I am just starting to achieve this now.  Just trust that if anything ever happens again that you will have the same presence of mind you had the last time.
I'm not sure this is helpful to you, but I wanted to at least try and respond and to let you know that you indeed are not alone.  Many of us on this forum have gone through some trauma from our hearts.  As I get better and become more active I find myself spending less time on the forum.  Hopefully, others will respond and share their experiences as well. 
I sincerely hope you start feeling better.

Thomas Michaels
New Member

Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 2/22/2009 12:52 PM (GMT -6)   
There is a new inexpensive FDA approved portable EKG machine being tested at a major NYC hospital. Unit the size of a deck of cards and requires no leads just a glove that is placed on chest. Push button and EKG is sent to a MD staffed monitoring facility.  Within 2 minutes will be advised, cardiac event is occurring and they will take over notifying EMS, local hospital, personal physician, etc. If negative can monitor until non symptomatic or protocols indicate you should get to hospital. Mean't to provide instantaneous identification and response to serious event or careful monitoring of symptomic conditions that may be indicative of approaching event. Sounds like something that could provide timely info, help your anxiety, etc. Hopefully will be available soon.

New Member

Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 3/9/2009 6:09 PM (GMT -6)   
A month ago I had a TIA with the tingling in my right arm and my face drooped like belle's palsy. I have had 2 MRI's, a spinal and a brain scan. Everything came back fine. Numerous test with cardiologist, neurologist, and neurologist surgeon. Now, I am having symptoms of tention in the shoulders and upper neck, looking like I am anticipation of something happening and I can feel this coming on. My doctors don't think it's anything but I need some help if anyone could help me. The symptom's last 15 to 20 minutes. When the episodes happen I don't want to be around anyone and I look like I anticipation of something going to happen, and my thoughts are cloudy. The doctor's have ran every test on my heart to make sure it wasn't that and the test came back fine on my heart. I feel like the doctor's are over looking something and I really am tired of this happening and feeling this way. If anyone could suggest anything or help I would appreciate it.
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