Trailing Vision/Depersonalazation. Linked?

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vegals
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 7/22/2009 11:03 AM (GMT -7)   
Hello, For within the past couple months I was Diagnosed with Depersonalization/Derealazation. And for a couple months now I've been noticing trailing with my vision. (Not when I move my head and or eyes, but when the object moves its self.) It doesn't have to be some source of light, but when it is the trail usually seems to be more noticable. Espically in the dark.

Like to say if you had a cigarette, and were in the dark you could move it fast in circles and it would complete a full circle, or move it from left to right in long streams really quick ther'd be a trail.

I know the eyes do normally have a trail, i'm just wondering if mine is greater then others. And it happens with television too. I'm not sure if i'm just noticing it now 'cause i've been analyzing everything, or if its a condition i've grown to have over time for no apperent reason.

& also, sometimes things seem to blank out. For instance if I were to open the door to the fridge to get something to drink i'd notice me opening the door, but for a fragment of a second i'd blank out then be getting what ever i went to get.

i've had MRI, EEGs, and the whole 9 yards done on my brain and theirs nothing wrong with me. and i'm not on any medication for Depersonalization at the moment.

I just can't tell if i'm freaking myself out, or if it really is a problem.
from the fraze (If you look for it, you'll see it) is really true or not.

If someone could help me that would be wonderful.


Thank you.

anastasia01
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 132
   Posted 7/23/2009 7:33 PM (GMT -7)   
Your freaking yourself out probley. I have experienced this Depersonalization/Derealazatiom that you speak of and thank goodness I dont anymore but I understand it is very upsetting. IT is hard to explain how upset it would get me. It probley is anxiety related. I have heard of many people having this and some get over it and still have episodes of it. Just try not to worry so much about it and maybe there are somethings you can google to help deminish it. You should go to the anxiety/panic attack section and there should be many people in there who can give you lots of feedback okay.
ANASTASIA
 
 


vegals
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 7/23/2009 11:52 PM (GMT -7)   
Yeah, its been a living hell.

i've pretty much lost everything i've once cared about 'cause of it. And i'm just trying to get back on.

I'm going to the doctors to get prescribed an SSRI, i've been reading up on google and it seems to be helping them alot. And i'm sure within' so much time it'll go away.

Its like waking up every morning looking out the window and knowing your in a real hell.
haha.



Whenever I drink, things seem to not bother me as much and I feel much better.
*But I try to stay away from that*
haha.



But thank you very much for your reply.


I dont' know if this has any relevance, but i've done LSD about 8 months ago,(only once) and i'm not sure if that triggered the DP. I had a bad trip, but it wasn't 'till months later when everything started going bad. once things with the family, Girlfriend, plus turning 18 happened. And thats when I started noticing. *Feeling stoned, Not like myself* Could smoke Marijuana. But it also makes me wonder if I just didn't notice it untill then.

So confusing. haha.

I don't know if it could be triggered from something that happened months later, I briefly talked to a psychiatrist about it, and they didn't seem to put much of them two together. I"m guessing from both things happen at a decent time away from each other.

smittythepig
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 74
   Posted 7/24/2009 7:03 AM (GMT -7)   
i actually have (and currently do) suffer from DP/DR and always associated it with LSD and/or marijuana use when i was younger. i only used those things a few times but i had one very bad experience. i recovered, but a few months later i had a bad anxiety attack that just never seemed to go away. i spent a good year or two in sort of an unreal state and also had what some people call HPPD (hallucinogen persisting perception disorder) where you have some mild visual symptoms like trails or 'visual snow.' it did slowly get better over time. the worst was of course the first 6 months or so. and by the time i was in college i would have to say that it vanished totally. unfortunately, though, it came back around the time i was getting ready to graduate. i then went on an SSRI and recovered again and enjoyed life for about 8 years. about 3 years ago though a bunch of stuff happened in my life that knocked me back into that state. i am still trying to recover from this latest episode. i have had plenty of good days and some very bad days. i stopped taking my SSRI about 3 months ago because i felt it had really stopped working anyway, caused a bunch of bad side-effects, and may actually be hindering my recovery this time around. i am hopeful i can do this on my own like i did the first time around when i had the most success - unmedicated.

anyway, i feel like there's a connection with the drug use because there are so many people that talk about having DP/DR along with seeing trails and floaters and things like that and most of them seem to have been drug users at some point and mention that there problems started a certain period of time after taking the drugs. the more i read the more i felt that there is a connection but it seems like most of the time it happens to people who are already susceptible or have a biological predisposition towards anxiety, depression and feeling unreal. they are more vulnerable and sometimes it seems the drugs trigger something that can create a 24/7 state of anxiety and derealization. that's one theory anyway. however, that being said, there are definitely people who both see trails and/or have dp/dr who never used drugs at all. so i think people who use drugs are more prone to suffering this, but anyone can fall into it.

the good news is that people can recover on their own. i would suggest you google Shaun O Connor. He's a kid from Ireland that suffered from DP and wrote an excellent guide to recovering. it's about $10 to download but worth it. he explains how it's really just a negative thought pattern habit that you need to break and if you do you will be fine. he admits it's not easy but definitely doable. he has tons of chapters on various aspects of life related to DP including visual stuff and how it's just a manifestation of your mind overly focused on itself. as you say, if you try and see it you will. you basically become so sensitive to everything you begin to see things that your brain blocked out before. and you fixate on things as well, which could explain the trails and lingering images. there are many people on forums who have recovered in the same way Shaun describes. it doesn't have to be permanent. as long as you understand what's happening you can break the habit. the key, though, is to not focus on it. just like with OCD you have to distract yourself and live your life. which is why i also recommend not googling HPPD :-) that actually triggered my latest episode. i started reading about HPPD and went back to thinking i ruined my life by taking drugs and i'd just be a freak living some nightmare forever. but that's exactly what you can't do. it makes it worse.

anyway, i know i've just thrown a lot out there. it's just that it hits home. if you have any questions feel free to send me an email or PM.

smittythepig
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 74
   Posted 7/24/2009 10:25 AM (GMT -7)   
by the way, shaun's site is www.dpmanual.com.

vegals
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 7/24/2009 8:04 PM (GMT -7)   
Yeah, what i'm wondering is, Seeing how one of the symtoms of DP is feeling of going crazy, and slight visual disturbances. (Well, more with derelazation) But it seems to mostly to happen when i'm not focusing and more so "looking for it."

And what i'm thinking is, seeing how HPPD isn't realed to stress, but can be stress full. and it wasn't like this for months, before things started "trailing" if its just me trying to find excuses for whats happening.

'cause the bad trip only lasted a good hour or two, the rest was wonderful. And there was only one part where I noticed DP.

I'm not sure if HPPD can be triggerd months later or not, but it dosn't seem like a logical thing. I mean, flashbacks are a complete different story, but I dont really seem how I could go through stressful situations before. But After I did LSD.

And seeing how i'm at the "Feeling out of my body, feeling." maybe its more of a thing trying to scare myself, more then an actualy problem.
I mean, i can tell the difference between color. Things to "Shift" on me. sometimes things are more vivid. like black on white, or reverse. And the only time something with snow happens is when i'm looking at my laptop computer for long amounts of time then look away, i might get a image of the laptop for a (hot second) haha. But it dosnt' seem like nothing unusualy. Kinda like, if you look at a light bulb for a second then close your eyes, you still see the light bulb.

Its just the only thing is the traling, and its onyl when i'm noticing it i do believe.

and plus, i just started taking Prozac, which is giving me more of the "zombie" mode then what I already had, and forget full ness, it makes m brain go a little more crazy, and trys to notice things.


but maybe you'd know,

is it possible for HPPD to come a good 6 months later after doing LSD.
i know they don't know much about it, but you may know someone that has, or know more information on it, like if HPPD is more of a (after you get off the trip its starts then and there) type of thing.

& everything seems to calm down whenever I drink.
well..
sometimes the trailing gets worse when I drink. It only happend once where it got worse, but still.
haha.

vegals
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 7/24/2009 8:15 PM (GMT -7)   
And if it was the case it got triggerd. Wouldn't that mean it wouldn't be permanent. If it can just pop out of no where, 'couldn't it just leave out of know where?


haha, sorry, forgot to put that in the last reply.
c:

smittythepig
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 74
   Posted 7/27/2009 6:28 AM (GMT -7)   
i think there is a chance in your case that maybe you are in fact simply looking too closely. yes, minor trails are normal i think. and the harder you focus the more and longer you will see them. and i honestly think simple anxiety can make it worse because you're in a heightened state of reality and more sensitive to stimulus. just depends on how long the trails are i guess. and i do think that DP and that stuff can disappear completely, though if you have it 24/7 for a while it might take a little longer to go away and a little more effort to get rid of. some people only get it for a few moments or hours at a time. and in those cases it vanishes quickly. but everyone is different. but yes, the good news seems to be that regardless of your situation it can go away completely one way or another with the right frame of mind. it's not permanent or at least doesn't have to be. as for onset, for me i think it was at least one or two months from the last time i took something. not sure if there are any people who've had it pop up after 6 months or not. i guess it's possible but i'm not sure. many people have it show up immediately after using something but many quite a while later. i think it's all just a state of mind and can be remedied by simply forgetting about it but practicing CBT-type behaviors. basically just doing something else to distract yourself and eventually you move on. you can't force yourself to stop thinking of something but you can distract yourself enough to eventually move on.
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