Please someone give me advice about this Cardiac Disease

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New Member

Date Joined Nov 2009
Total Posts : 9
   Posted 7/11/2010 11:32 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi, I have no where else to turn, but here because I figure someone can give me advice or tell me the truth of what is happening and how bad. My dad had 2 strokes 8 years ago. He is on Lisinipril, Toprol. hydrochloriazide, namenda, Cymbalta, Aricept, and Coumadin. about 2 yearss ago he started getting worse and began a cough and more tired. His cardiologist did some tests and apparently he was told it was time to check his Aorta valve again becasue she believed it was narrowing too much at this point. He refused because he was going through a divorce and didnt have time. Now things have gotten much worse, a year ago he was recommended to have his valve replaced, again refused. Now 4 months ago he went for his stress test and almost had a heart attack at cardiologists, they couldnt even find a blood pressure btu finalyy he came out of it after given IV fluids, he was ok. He finally got scared and agreed to get a catheritization because he admitted he was having chest pain and shortness of breath, apparently he has even felt nauseas. He never told anyone he was this bad. I am the one who takes care of him since step-mother left. I set up hiss pills and help him with his short term memory loss. He was told he needed to have his valve replaced immediately because of how narrow it had gotten, he also had 60% clogged artery and only 40% heart pumping now. He refused the surgery, which has made me literally a mess trying to get him to do it and see him being so sick and choosing not to do it. He was going to at first, but then had me cancel 3 appointments with the heart surgeon. He is going and doing all these things wwith my 11year old brother, he just recently took him on a cruise which all doctors did not agree with, but he had to do it. He came back and admitted that the first 2 days he was on ship, that he wasnt sure he was going to make it and he thought it was all over. See my dad has type A personality, and after he decided not to have surgery, he then believed that he was fine and he could make his heart problems go away on his own. He thinks he can control everything. When I would ask him about his severe cough, he would say oh its gone, I am all better and literally 10mins later I would here it. Recently I heard him start coughing a lot while laying down too. I have seen him have to get off his bed slowly almost as though he was light headed. He also denies getting any chest pain anymore and said thats gone too. The reality is his cough is worse than ever, he looks greyish alot, he starts sweating profusely, hes sleeping a lot and very fatigued, and he is not making sense. He was talking to my sister and several times in 15 mins made no sense and she had to repeat it several times. He got back from the cruise and hes just horrible looking. Hes moving very slow and he has also been holding his left side a lot, wich I am not sure what that is for. I need someone to tell me the truth. Does he have long since he has much more than just CHF right now with the Aorta valve and artery blockage. Also his blood test has in the past 4 months been completely off, its either too thick or thin, its never normal anymore, so I am confused on that too. In fact the last test was too thin and they were so worried tht the doctor gave him a prescription to get it done on the cruise and fax results and adjust Coumadin as needed, but of course my dad refused to do that on his trip. This is all breaking my heart. He doesnt tell me the truth of what is going on. I have also recently seen him taking a lot of Tums which he never haas before. I just need to know how bad things really are. Can chest pain just go away? Even my sister says he looks bad. He is eating better, but still alot of sugar and he still eats hot dogs which have high fat. Please someone tell me what this all means. I need to understand this more. I am very scared. I have come to terms that tis is my dads choice to not have surgery, but it is still very frustrating and sad for me.

Elite Member

Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 7/12/2010 10:17 AM (GMT -6)   
Hello and welcome to HealingWell. I am sorry to hear of your Father's refusal to accept medical help and you are right, it is his decision to live his life the way he chooses even if that means refusing medical care.

Most Drs. would not give you a time line on his outcome especially as he won't take their advice so I cannot say as a layperson what his outcome is likely to be.

Sometimes a person is just to afraid to face their medical problems and therefore they deny that anything is seriously wrong. This may be where you Father is at, denial.

I would talk to your Father about drawing up a medical living will with his wishes as far as medical care is concerned should something happen to him and he is not able to make an imformed consent re health care.

Also would he consider seeing a therapist to talk about his fears re surgery and life expectancy without the surgery? One last thought, he may fear he will not survive surgery as there are no guarantees.

I wish you all the best.



New Member

Date Joined Nov 2009
Total Posts : 9
   Posted 7/12/2010 7:57 PM (GMT -6)   
Thank you so much for your response. My dad is already seeing a therapist due to the divorce 2 years ago. His therapist knows what my dad is choosing as well. I did have a Living Will set up and his Last Will and Testament. Do you think it sounds really bad. He is so out of breath today, its scary. He wont lay down though. He actually went for a drive. As he was walking to the car, he literally looked like he was going to walk in to it. iI try to stop him, but I have no success ever. I dont understand. I feel like he is pushing himself way to hard. Almost as though if hes going to not make it, then he is going to do whatever he wants in the mean time. He kept calling me on the phone today asking if I had called and I told him both times, No dad remember that was at 10am, we already talked about that. I have not called you again. He is not remembering things at all and he just seems out of it and confused. Is this a sign of not enough Oxygen going to brain?
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