Gentle hugs to you and I do understand how your feeling. I did not share all of my hubby's story with you but perhaps it will help you so here goes.
My hubby has Crohn's Disease dx when he was 29 and we had 4 children at home. He has had 4 major surgeries for Crohn's and 1 for Prostate Cancer. Last spring he was started on Methotrexate. Methotrexate is used to treat certain types of cancer of the breast, skin, head and neck, or lung as well as Crohn's disease and other autoimmune diseases. He seemed to do well until September when he developed a bilateral pneumonia. On admit to the ER that day his heart rate was all over the place and his rhythm scared the heck out of me (I am a ER Nurse).
He had an echo just to take a look at his heart but the Dr. expected it to be normal. No one was more shocked then I was to hear the results of his echo - Left Ventricular Cardiomyopathy with an ejection fraction of 35%. The Drs. questioned whether the Methotrexate caused damage to his heart. We left the hospital with instructions to go home and not worry unless he had sx and to come back in December for a Stress Echo. The stress test confirmed what was found in September - decrease in Left Ventricle function, mild mitral valve regurgitation and a trace of tricuspid regurgitation.
Treatment is "not to worry about it" according to his Cardiologist and PCP. He takes a BP med everyday and has been encouraged to continue to do any activity he is doing. He is very active (hunter, wood cutter, works for our daughter and chases our 90 lb. Doberman around). He rides a Harley and does not worry about his heart.
Of course I do enough worrying for both of us so I have to really stop myself and concentrate on all the good things we have going for us.
Moral of the story is your echo may be abnormal but you will still be OK. I have a tendency to catastrophize quickly when I first hear the word "abnormal" as I have had a lot of major losses over the years as well as being a pretty smart old nurse.
I have to take a deep breath and tell myself to stop the anticipatory anxiety. It is not easy and I still get side tracked with thoughts of "what if ?", so I try to take each day one step at a time.
I think you have the right to feel anxious and afraid after all this is your heart and to you that is pretty dang scary. Please know I am here for you and I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
Do feel comfortable to vent away here and posting your thoughts is a good thing.
Moderator: Anxiety, Osteoarthritis,
GERD/Heartburn and Heart/Cardiovascular Disease.
"only as high as I reach can I grow, only as far as I seek can I go, only as deep as I look can I see, only as much as I dream can I be"