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Friend dying.. don't know what to do

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Posted 4/22/2005 9:59 AM (GMT -8)
Hi all.  I've never been here before, but searched for somewhere to go to ask questions, vent, learn, whatever.  I'm petrified right now and need whatever help I can get.

My friend of 41 years (she's 46 years old) had a massive heart attack on Monday.  She's currently in a deep coma and not stable at all.  She's had to be shocked back 4 times already, intubated, etc.

Since she's  in the coma, they aren't able to do too many tests right now, other than ekg's.

Is a deep coma consistant with this sort of trauma??  Her prognosis isn't good and I'm scared out of my mind.... I CANNOT lose my life-long friend.

Thanks for letting me come here and get this out.

Pat

Posted 4/22/2005 10:14 AM (GMT -8)

First of all Welcome Pat and I'm glad you've found us at HealingWell.

This is a very serious condition that your friend seems to be in and I'm not really in a position to answer all your questions.  First of all is this coma, medically produced?~to keep her asleep?  Or is this a natural coma that occurred due to the massive heart attack.  That may seem like a silly question, but sometimes Dr.'s do medicate their patients in these circumstances for other reasons to keep them quiet and asleep for healing purposes.

If they needed to, there would be other tests that they could run.  Do you have family members of hers that are there that are willing to speak to you about this?  Have you, yourself spoken to any of the hospital staff re her condition?

I know this must be one of the hardest situations that you've ever found yourself in and I am so very sorry for that.  My best wishes to you, your friend and her family!  Please keep in touch with us and I'll do the best I can to offer some assistance.

Teri

Posted 4/22/2005 11:17 AM (GMT -8)

Teri, I thank you for your response.  No... her coma is not induced.  She did have a massive heart attack and never regained consciousness after she initially collapsed.  I am involved very closely with her family and am often in the room when the physicians are briefing them.

Although she did hit her head when she fell, there seems to be no indication on the CAT scan that this caused any damage (this is new info since my original post).  They're not able to do an angiogram until she regains consciouness, but the prognosis there is extremely bleak... she seems to be deeper into it since her admission on Monday.

I'm sure the doctor is telling us everything he knows, but it's not a whole lot. At this juncture, they're more concerned about the coma than her cardiac condition, although extremely serious. 

I apologize for rambling.  I'm just so afraid for her.

Thanks again.

Pat

Posted 4/22/2005 1:59 PM (GMT -8)
Hello Pat. Your friend is seriously ill and her body is doing what it can to help her to repair. That is why she is in a coma, her body has shut down what it does not need and is concentrating on repairing the damage to her heart. God willing as she becomes stronger she will eventually come out of her coma and rebuild her life. She has had a very serious heart attack and we can only pray that she is able with the help of God and her doctors to pull through. I join with everybody here in prayer for your dear friend and I pray that she pulls through her ordeal. I can tell you that this is not an isolated kind of incident, it does happen and it would be unkind to tell you that every case survives. However with the treatments now availabe to doctors she has a great chance of getting through this. Be there for her and when you are with her talk to her and encourage her to fight. You will be surprised how this can and does help people who are in a coma. As I have said the body is a strange instrument and it does what it feels it must to preserve itself, the attack was a large one and her body has gone in shut down and is busy at this moment fighting to make repairs . While she is in a coma and shut down the body can concentrate on the healing process, just be there as I said and tell her you are with her.

God bless you and I will pray for your friend,

Gordon and Michelle
Posted 4/24/2005 12:12 PM (GMT -8)
Hello Pat!  I join the others in prayer for your friend and also for you and her family.  God Bless, Patoolla
Posted 4/24/2005 6:38 PM (GMT -8)
Pat, I hope your friend is doing better!! You take care, too.

Best Wishes, Teri
Posted 4/25/2005 8:17 AM (GMT -8)

Thank you all for your prayers.  My husband and I have been at the hospital for the last few days nearly round the clock, but there hasn't been any significant change.  EMS was there within a few minutes of her initial collapse, but since she flat lined twice in transit to the hospital, lack of oxygen is most likely the blame for her coma. 

Doctors are really unable to provide any substantial information pertaining to possible brain damage right now... I guess it's all just a wait and see kind of thing.  She looks terrible and she's been swelling quite a bit.  The "not knowing" is the worst part for myself and her family.

But, I know Ann and she's tough!!!!

Thanks again for your kind words.

Pat

Posted 4/25/2005 8:22 AM (GMT -8)

Pat,

We are all with you and will continue with prayers and positive thoughts for your friend and for you!

Best Wishes and Hugs, Teri

Posted 4/26/2005 9:29 AM (GMT -8)
The doctors just told us that there's basically no hope. Her damage is too extensive and she'll never regain consciousness. Not expecting her to make it too much longer.

Thank all of you for your support and for allowing me to come in here to dump on you.
Posted 4/26/2005 9:32 AM (GMT -8)

Pat, I am so terribly sorry!  I know this is a very sad time for you, and your friend's family.  Please know that you have my sympathies and I will be here for you if you'd like to talk some more...

Hugs, Teri

Posted 5/16/2005 8:00 PM (GMT -8)
l'm so very sorry to hear about your dear friend. Friends like that are rare indeed. Although it seems not much can be done for her now, there's probably much you can do for the family. And as long as we keep them alive in our hearts, we then find the true meaning of friendship. Because true friendship never dies.
Our thoughts are with you.
Vinny

Post Edited (vinny1957) : 5/16/2005 10:02:49 PM (GMT-6)

Posted 5/17/2005 9:59 AM (GMT -8)

Pat my dear friend I am so sorry I saw this so late. I'll be lifting up your friend in prayer too and yes you will always have the memory of her freindship. Please keep on praying along with us for where 2 or more arre gathered together he is in the midst among them.  They told my husbands folks back in 1966 he wouldnot make it after a bad car wreck he was in a deep coma for 3 months when he woke up part of his memory was gone he had to learn to walk,talk and eat all over again. then we have had thei firefighter after 10 years wkeing up just talk to her she can still hear yu tell her yuo love her and remind her of the good times nad Pat we welcome yuo here anytime. aagin all of us here on HW are praying for yuo my dear friend.

Heidi

Posted 5/23/2005 3:44 PM (GMT -8)
Pat, I know i'm very late in reading this, but I want to say how sorry I am. I know how devestated I would be if my best friend was in this condition. I'll keep you all in my prayers. Hugs, Kathy S
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