Howdy, again, SFG. Fancy meeting you here. :) I'm just takin a break from car work (took the Nova to the spray-it-yourself carwash) since I'm all outta breath.
Anyway, I can't tell ya what my cholesterol levels were just prior to my heart attacks, but I CAN tell you that about 10 years before the first one (that would have made it around 1987 or so) the reading they gave me was over 220. I tried changing my diet....but that was at the end of my drinking days and I really didn't care. I don't think I've ever had a reading as low as 144. Iirc, as of the last check mine was 189 or so...but my HDL levels were low, while the LDL level was high. So I'm on Niaspan and Vytorin for that.
I don't want to sound like a broken record, my friend, but it sounds like your head is playin games with you. I'm really glad that you're on some anti-depressant medication. I've been on Prozac for about 8 years. My darlin wife tells me that if I ever stop takin it, she'll put me out of my misery before I have a chance to commit suicide. Well...maybe that's a wee bit of an exaggeration, but the point is that the Prozac has helped to control the irritability that I've had most of my life...some people have even called me names like "hot head"...and a whole lot worse. But they were probably right. And sometimes me little darlin has beein right in the line of fire when I've been overcome with an irritability attack...then I take it out on her. So she prolly has good reason for sayin what she did. Btw, she's been clean and sober for 14 years. She works a very good program of recovery.
The last time I tried to get off Prozac (there was a medical reason for it, but it turns out that it wasn't neccesary) I found myself out in my driveway, replacing a headlight in my wife's car. At that time she had an 87 Monte Carlo SS. I tell ya that because the headlights can be really frustrating to replace on that particular model. After about 15 minute's work I found that I had a 5-pound mini-sledge hammer in my hand and I was about to adjust all the headlights with that tool. I don't think it was the appropriate tool for the job. But that's an example of the kind of irritability and quickness to anger that I get when I'm not on the Prozac...and particularly when I'm withdrawing from it. Btw, I just had to set the hammer down gently and back away from the car slowly. I came out an hour or so later and finished, but it coulda got ugly.
So I think I'll stay on the stuff. Seems to work pretty good. If you've just started with anti-depressants, it may take a few different medications before they find the one that's right for you. A doctor once told me that all of the anti-depressants work to treat depression...some better than others...but the trick is finding one with side effects that you can live with. I had to go thru that at the beginning
I'm gonna climb out on a limb here and bring something up that may or may not be controversial. I'll just talk about my own experiences...and if it helps...well, that's good. But take it for what it's worth. When I quit drinking, I went thru hell for the first year or so. Anxiety, emotional ups and downs, crying fits, panic attacks...you name it. I talked to my sponsor about this and somehow we got on the topic of tranquilizers as a means of dealing with these issues. He told me that some doctors seem to think that alcoholism is a Valium deficiency (as opposed to a vitamin deficiency.) He went on to tell me that giving Valium (or any of its many relatives in the benzodiazepine family) to an alcoholic is almost like handing him a bottle with the top off. He told me that medications of that type can trigger the craving for alcohol and send a fella back to drinking.
Now this was his opinion...and he was a welder, not a doctor...and I'm a computer programmer/hotrodder. So again, like a broken record, I'm not qualified to give medical advice. So I've just related what my sponsor said to me...but I've followed his advice. And I haven't had to "go back out" (as they say in AA) and start drinking again.
One thing that was suggested to me...and one that I still use is meditation. This helps me relax my mind and body and can help me deal with that hockey game that goes on inside the head. The nice thing about meditation is that it's free...and there are no side effects. It might be something to consider.
I hope some of these things provide a little insight for ya.