Michelle, Nan, and Teri...
Thank you all for your comments, I took them all to hieart.
As far as the smoking, I smoked as a social smoker as well...went to do the invitro years ago, and STOPPED easily before I even started the invitro. IF it didn't work, I didn't want to blame anything I did, so, it was a piece of cake. After the boy's were born, they were premature, we now know due to my heart....Ty who was two pds thirteen oz's...had a IV brain bleed...grade four. Once I heart that news, they told me he could be blind, deaf, CP or retardation, OR all four. That is when I started again, and then it became the "break" after the boy's came home...you know the social thing meeting everyone out in the yard...
I had NO intentions of ever smoking again after surgery. I had promised my son, as he hates that I do that, and its my only bad habit, and has been tough to quit at this stage, espeically with the stress, I know I am making excuses, but, I am so nervous at this point, this seems like the worst time to quit. But, I am certainly looking forward to NEVER smoking again once this is over. I thought the hospital stay would be the perfect opportunity as by the time I get out of the hospital it would be a piece of cake, out of my system.
I just need to figure out how to STOP BEFORE...yikers....
I need your guys opinion. You know my son's are coming, and have insisted. Well, my aunt called the other day; and lectured me about it tramatizing them, so now I am worried sick about it, nad I have tried talking them out of it, and they won't have it...they keep saying, "mom you have been there for us our whole lives, now it is our turn to be there for you." I explained that I am their Mother, and its my job to be there for them, and there is no such thing as a payback...I explained that I just want them to feel safe and secure and not worried.
DO you think it will be too much for them?
Will they be tramatized seeing me in the ICU?
Will they be better off at home while I am in surgery?
What would all of you do if you were me?
They are fourteen...and I am so worried about this right now...I don't know what the right thing to do is...one friend told me locally that she thought it best they go, if the worst should happen, they could miss an opportunity to say goodbye to me.
I really value all of your opinions, so please let me know what you all think.
I am still having the episodes of shortness of breath, and its getting worse, about five times a day....is it anxiety, or the heart condition? WHen it happens, I am not necessarily worried at the time or even thinking of anything, but I can't catch a good breath; and it feels like I am suffociating....I am on diuirtics constantly..if not for them, I don't know what i would do...the ascites is SO BAD, honestly within a thirty minute period, I can have a flat stomach, and then bam...it looks like I am eight months pregnant, and my stomach is hard as a ROCK, and it gets so hard and so big, its unbelievable. I ended up in the ER once, as my potassium levels became dangerously low due to them, I became so weak, I could not lift my head off the pillow; and could not pee..nothing was working. So, we are now careful and check it often, the other strange problem I am having is my platelets keep dropping...I am at 77,000, they are very concerned with that, DID you have that problem NAN???
Nan, thank you so much for insite...any information I can get to prepare is SO APPRECIATED!! Please be as blunt as possible, I hate it when someone beats around the bush, I like to be informed as much as possible!!! THANK YOU! Teri, I knew you had to be a nurse at some point, you have so much compassion, and care about people so much, you are a very special person. Michelle, your landlord is a lucky guy to have YOU!