New to this board and needing to vent

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Regular Member

Date Joined Aug 2012
Total Posts : 352
   Posted 1/21/2013 1:39 PM (GMT -6)   
I've been on the prostate cancer board for a few months.  But I also care for my mother-in-law who had had stokes and heart problems.  Feeling a bit frustrated right now. 
Background- I had foot surgery in late Dec.  Am now in a 'boot' and can't drive yet. 
Mother-in-law is also my best friend.  She had a major stroke about 5 years ago.  Prior to that she was totally independent.  Since then she has had another stroke, some TIA's and several bouts with atrial-fibrillation and one bout with Congestive Heart Failure.   The day after Thanksgiving 2011 she broke her hip and had surgery-pins not joint replacement.  We converted the den of her house into an accessible effciency apartment for her and our son and his wife moved into the rest of the house.  So she was still 'on her own' basically. For 5 years  I went every day and checked on her and did cleaning, took her to appointments, managed her meds., etc.  My husband was diagnosed with prostate cancer iin Aug. 2012 and had surgery in Oct.  Now on hormone therapy (he is already stage 4). 
While I've been 'incapacitated, my husband, son and daughter-in-law, and my sister-in-law have been checkon on m-i-l and taking her to appointments, etc.  Found out this past Thursady night she had been 'covering up' that her blood pressure and pulse had jumped WAY HIGH- in other words she was in a-fib again.  We got her to the ER in the middle of a winter storm and they confirmed that she was in a-fib and admitted her.  Her cardiologist ordered an echo cardiogram- it was done on Friday and he 'ordered' a cardio-version for Saturday morning.  Turns out the hospital 'doesn't do that' on weekends.  He was MAD (so was I).  Because he had added a new medication, she was more stable, so he had to discharge her because now the cardio-version is 'elective' rather than 'emergency'.  Said we'd do it the first of this week. I just called them and guess what - between the doc's and the hospital's schedules, we can't do it until FEB. 12!!! 
I can't monitor her like I am used to, she isn't making good decisions (partly I think due to lack of god ciculation) about herself, and I am frustrated. And feeling a bit guilty.  I had postponed this surgery several years ago and only scheduled it when I did becuase she had been stable for a year and hubby said to go ahead and do it. 
I know there is really not alot I can do right now.  Just wanting to vent.  Thanks for listening. 

Elite Member

Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 1/25/2013 5:18 PM (GMT -6)   
Hey there,
I answered you other post re your MIL.  I am glad you felt comfortable venting here as it is good to be able to share your anxieties and burdens.
Moderator: Anxiety, Osteoarthritis,
GERD/Heartburn and Heart/Cardiovascular Disease.

“Have courage for the great sorrows of life and patience for the small ones; and when you have laboriously accomplished your daily task, go to sleep in peace. God is awake.”
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