Hi and Welcome to HealingWell, Jeanne!!
I am so sorry to hear about your upcoming surgery! I don't know the choices that they have for this particular surgery - I would strongly suggest that you speak to your Dr. re these questions. Calling his/or her nurse and asking her these things might give you the info that you are naturally seeking and offer you some peace of mind!
I've had several caths performed and they've gone pretty smoothly! - they've managed over the years to get this more perfected and while they are actually doing the cath, you will have been given something to relax you and though you are awake, you'll be sort of sleepy. The following link should give you more of an idea of what to expect.
My best wishes to you and please come on back and let us know how you are doing!! - Don't wait too long to tell your folks, they will, of course, be concerned, especially as you are the main caregiver - but the advance notice may help them find someone else that can help them while you're healing and that would also ease your mind!