New but so many questions - support for relatives

I'm only 30 and the love of my life had a brush with death a few months ago.

He was critically ill after a massive heart attack at only 34 years of age. He has ischamic (forgive spelling) heart disease and heart failure. The left ventricular area was badly affected and he was transferred to Papworth hospital under transplant unit. He was touch and go for several weeks and had to have a balloon pump to keep him alive. The surgeons wanted to prolong the surgery for as long as possible because it would increase his chances of survival.

We are getting married this year and Nick proposed to me in hospital.

In the end, they had to operate 3 weeks after his heart attack on the 23rd November at 6pm. His attacks were more regular despite gtn, heparin and the balloon pump.

This is the history and thankfully, he is doing really well following quadruple heart bypass surgery.

My question is, how do the relatives cope? I feel at the moment that my beloved is fighting his own personal battle emotionally and I am not able to help him. I don't mind saying I feel alone and concerned about him. I can't live without him but at the same time, I feel I just need to reach out to other young women who have had to go through this and share my experiences. I suppose I am being a little self indulgent in making this post, but I don't know who to talk to - I have many friends, but I don't feel like they would understand. I have to stay strong for him, but at the same time, I'm battling my own demons with reactive depression and I'm finding it hard to keep it all together. At the same time I feel selfish and stupid because I should just be happy he is still here and look forward.

Anyone who is going through the same thing, I would love to talk to. I don't feel like there are any resources out there for the relatives, but maybe I'm not looking in the right places.

Love,

Emma xxx

Post Edited By Moderator (Admin) : 1/26/2006 10:41:04 AM (GMT-7)

sorry I shouldn't have posted this, it's very selfish of me. :(

Please ignore my self-indulgent drivvle

Post Edited By Moderator (Admin) : 1/26/2006 10:41:20 AM (GMT-7)

Emma,

First off, do not apologize for posting this question. It is important for family members to get support in addition to the patients of heart attacks.

Especially someone so young having an infarct--it truly can turn someone's world around. That being said, there are very few (none) national support groups -- I would talk to the hospital that took care of him for that length of period and see if they can help start a support group for patients and patient families. That is what I did in my hospital to help the family of patients I was taking care of, and it has been a good success.

As McDonald's spread around the world, and people become more and more inactive, we are seeing heart disease younger and younger--a disease once thought to be a middle-age or older disease is quickly spreading into the younger generations. I have taken care of someone as young as 20 with a heart attack--so this type of support system is needed more and more.

In addition, it is helpful for the support system in that support for family and support for the patient may prevent worsening heart disease--it is fairly well proven that depression increases cardiac events.

Hope this helps--I would talk to the hospital, and also the cardiologist taking care of Nick to see if they have support groups--or if they do not, ask them if they can help you start one.