They're Baaaack.....

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Hopes
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2006
Total Posts : 297
   Posted 9/16/2006 11:42 AM (GMT -7)   
Well... My wonderful thuds were gone for awhile after my gallbladder surgery and was I glad because I did not bounce back well after that procedure well. In fact I am still in pain and discomfort everyday and my bowels now seen to be displeased but the premature heartbeats for the most part were quiet. For those of you who suffer with these, you know what a wonderful thing that is even if you are in pain somewhere else!! However they are now BAAAACK!..Hip, Hip Hurray (NOT!)...and not just a couple a day....Oh NO....3-4 a minute...then a couple minutes rest...back to 3-4 a minute. I am just thrilled!....It is probably from stress. My father-in-law is in the hospital AGAIN..VERY SICK...REFUSING TREATMENT...so the hospital is making arrangements to send him home with hospice to die...and my mother-in-law is a very difficult person to try to get along with even in the best of situations. I was on the phone with her a couple of times this morning in very unpleasant conversations...UGGGGH! She will call my house looking for my husband (her son) who is out-of-town working and unable to answer his mobile which she knows. She wants me to put her in touch with him right away as soon as he is in but does not want to tell me what is going on at the hospital! She acts like I am an outsider and should not be given ANY information. Then she makes comments about how I haven't brought their granddaughter over to see him in the last few weeks while he was doing good and now he is in the hospital critical and going to die.  UGGGGH! The last three weeks I have been trying to recover from surgery and NOT doing well myself! Plus my daughter is VERY BUSY after school with activities and my husband is mostly gone due to work. So I HAVE to handle the schedule no matter how bad I feel! It has been taking all the energy I have to get dinner and get her to her activities and back home!...Like I knew that this was going to happen!...They aren't even very nice to me when I do go over!...I think my husband should take her over when he is home...He knows I hate to go over to his parents and they only want to see him and our daughter anyway!...I can't believe that he doesn't realize that! UGGGH! In the meantime, the thuds just keep on marching. If they don't slow down, I think I'll just go to the ER. So they can repeat  the "they are benign" mantra.....

DREAMGIRL
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 600
   Posted 9/17/2006 1:17 PM (GMT -7)   
sad  dear preccious Hopes, You are really in a rough spot. You need a nurse for yourself and now everyone else wants way toooo much from you.  i say tell your husband you are too sick to deal with His mothr and he need sto take that burden off your shoulders.  my sister has been married over 30 years and she has a wonderful relationship with her hubby, actually if it weren't for her, his mother would never have heard form him, it is always us women who keep up, but like yourself she still treats my sister like she is not important, and like you she only really cares to see her son, so finally after all these years my sister told him he can babysit his mother, it is a pretty thankless job. fraNKLY, YOU ARE A SAINT FOR DEALING WITH IT UP TO NOW. UNLESS SHE IS CRIPPLED SHE CAN GET YOUR DAUGHTER TO SEE HER GRANDFATHER, I BET THROUGH THE YEARS THEY HAVE HAD NMANY OPPORTUNITIES TO SEE THEIR GRANDCHILD, DO NOT LET HER MEAN SPIRIT GET TO YOU. sorry, i just looked up and saw the caps.. sorry. humm. i wonder if ther is a reason for those accidental caps, the lord works in mysterious ways. sorry your problem is back, geez, what a drag,  do you feel the gallbladdr surgery was in vain? take care  i will be thinking of you.

Hopes
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2006
Total Posts : 297
   Posted 9/17/2006 1:47 PM (GMT -7)   
Dreamgirl, Thank you! I don't know about the gallbladder thing. It didn't function and I quess it needed to come out but I was hanging alot of hopes on that surgey. Those hopes have not panned out and I quess I'm disappointed. I am very weary right now.

I just got back from the hospital to see my father-in-law. What a horrible mess he is in. He is dieing. My mother-in-law apolegized for saying anything to hurt me and I felt bad. She said that she has never had a daughter and doesn't know what to do with one. She has always been the only female and quite frankly the two men in her life (her husband and her son) did as she wished most of the time. I'm a bit more stubborn. OK-maybe a lot more stubborn and I frustrate her.

Everything is just so sad right now. I took my daughter in to see him but he is not always lucid and is sometimes just down right scary-screaming and cussing. My mother-in-law is crying saying she just doesn't want to lose him.

The two cardiologists who have seen him the last two days as told her that he is doing the right thing. Evidently he is not going to get better. His blood pressure is low and they had to take him off the morphine which did not seem to be doing much good anyway. His kidneys and liver are not functioning properly. He is about to become dialysis dependent if he lives much longer and he is losing his eye sight as well as a foot to diabetes complications. ???? Things are really bad.

DREAMGIRL
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 600
   Posted 9/17/2006 5:34 PM (GMT -7)   
eyes  Again sorry, you have so much to cope with. i am glad you got an apology, that is a hard thing for older people to do, i am sure she is feeling quite vulnerable, but again, you take cre of yourself and throw out a soft place to land if she ends up needing it.  I tend to voice my opinion quite freely, so hope you were not offended by my bold statements. please keep us posted, we all want to know what is going on, it is really nice to have a safe place to come and share and vent or anything we need to do. take care.

Hopes
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2006
Total Posts : 297
   Posted 9/17/2006 5:45 PM (GMT -7)   

Dreamgirl, I am not at all offended, quite the contrary. I appreciate your kindness and support. Thank you so much. I am just sad.

I wish we had had a better relationship before, my inlaws and I. I wish I had visited more with my daughter. I wish I had been quicker to forgive the stinging barbs I endured from them so often or maybe I was too sensitive! ???? My father-in-law passed away tonight. I quess that the cardiologist had told him before we got there that he could disable his defibrillator. He decided that he wanted that and they did it this evening. He died almost immediately. It is all just sad.


DREAMGIRL
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 600
   Posted 9/18/2006 8:21 PM (GMT -7)   
sad  wow, i hear your pain, but you know hopes, you did not set the pace for how things went through the years, it sounds like they did and you just did what we all would do when we were younger, get on with our life and not throw our pearls among the swine. Now i know that is a pretty radical thing to say, but we all really do make our own bed to sleep in, and it sounds like they really had no need for you til it was too late.  my mom left this world a couple of years ago and we were estranged, i HAD to keep seperate from her because she was always so ugly to me, i feel sorry for her that she never got to know me, but i just chose not to let her beat me up emotionally whenever she chose. i have never felt anything but sorrow for her, she wasted a good daughter that would have done anything for her, but she too made her bed. i hope you do not hear anger here, as there is none, i always heard that apathy was the real opposite of love and that is all i felt or did not feel at her passing. i do not know your age, but as we age it becomes so clear that so many people can use our love and attention, don't wasre you time about the past, you gotta lot of work to do with all the ones out there who need and want you to be a part of their lives.  ahhh, alas, the end of my preachathon. be the knid and loving person i know you are and you won't have to fret about coulda,shoulda,woulda
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