Hi edendumas, I am sorry for what your son and you are going through. I also have a ventricular septal defect that was from birth but (apparently) not found until I was 31 yrs old when I became sick and ended up diagnosed with an autonomic disorder. My cardiologist decided not to close the hole and just keep watch on it as long as I dont take birth control pills and not smoke. I also have bradycardia which I received a pacemaker for.
You have asked some really good questions here but these really are questions that you should be asking to his physicians. A second opinion is always a good idea especially if surgery is indicated and his cardiologist most likely has consulted with another physician on his findings, you may want to check into that. I hope that someone here has had this surgery and can share their experiences with you regarding this. Please do post again and let us know how he is doing. Healing Well is a great place for information and support...take care