help.......please respond

I suffer from cardiomyopthy (spelling) I am an alcohohic, bi-polar with other addictions. My local hospital denied me treatment for a de-tox. My life is on a thread, at the moment. I tried all the help agencies and no one can assist. My depression is so great that I am sick of my life, I want to die and I think I need is a hospital bed for a few days. Right now, my computer is my only recourse. I have had bi-vads implanted last june and a month later, removed. my ejection fraction was 10% and improved to 50%.......I owe that to god, but my addictions......they are going to kill me soon. I also have a de-fib/pacemaker and I am 47 years old. The medical field has put me on hold for many days. (I am crying) All I ask is some advice, a big kick in the ass, and five thousand pounds of hope. My heart is so far, fine, and that is the biggest part. I want to live.