Hello, this is Kitt and you are normal and have every right to be afraid. I would guess, IMHO, you are going through some anticipatory anxiety. You going through the "what ifs"
Common Anticipatory Anxiety Reactions include :
Feelings: anxious, fearful, angry, confused, hopeless, losing control, numb, sad, moody, irritable, guilty.
Behaviors: withdrawal from others or activities, disrupted routines, startle reactions, easily crying
Cognitions: preoccupation with possibility of trauma, concentration difficulties, self-doubt, worry, indecisiveness, memory difficulties
Physical complaints: muscle tension, headaches, gastric distress, sleep and appetite changes, fatigue
Talking usually helps. Share your feelings with friends, family, on here are all good ways to work through the anxiety.
Relaxation techniques: Try deep breathing, muscle relaxation, visualization (imagining peaceful scenes), and/or listening to soothing music.
Realistic self-talk: While we can't always control what happens to us, we can always control what we say to ourselves. It's important to keep things in perspective. Talk to yourself in reasonable ways. Ask yourself "how likely is my fear?" Remind yourself that you have coped before during other challenging times. Don't just dwell on the negative but consciously look for things you can appreciate every day.
Make an effort to stay focused on what's happening now. What do you see, hear, and smell? How do you feel? Truly be 'present' in the moment! That will help you keep the anxiety down.
Whatever decision you make, Mary Lynn, I support you. You have recieved good advice from the wise members who have posted before me.
Kitt, Moderator: Anxiety, Panic & Depression https://www.healingwell.com/donate *~* Not a mental health professional of any kindIt is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~