My doctor put cancer on my mind

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acidgirl
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 73
   Posted 2/23/2009 3:02 PM (GMT -6)   
Im a 41 year old female, I've had bad indigestion and ibs and husky voice for years, I was scoped years ago and I produce too much acid I've just recently been having problems swallowing, in the last 2 weeks, I noticed a bit of chicken not going down. I went to see the doc and he put me on 30mg of Lansoprazole, they worked almost immediately, I had no swallowing problems for 2 days. 5 days into my treatment the swallowing problems started, I got anxious about this but I dont have globus hystericas as such. Four days I couldn't eat solid food, liquids and soft food goes down a dream, but it took me 50 minutes to eat soft veg and mashed potato and the food was like a lead weight in my stomach and then the reflux started, it took nearly 2 hours to digest a mouthful of food. I panicked and when to see my own GP, he put the wooden spatula on my tongue and I said arhh.. he said he couldnt see anything. He said if I wanted he would rush me in for an endoscopy to rule out cancer, well I went as white as a sheet. He then said, I may have some chicken stuck and it is probably just inflammation. It didnt fill me with confidence mentioning the C word. Now I am very anxious and worried and physically shaking. Ive had a blood test for H Pylori but that's not come back yet.
I am a bit of a health fanatic, I don't drink, smoke, have caffeine and a proper diet, why on earth is this happening to me its not fair..sorry im feeling sorry for myself. I actually feel faint due to worry.

ANY reasurrance would be appreciated.

Thanks AG

shocked confused

dencha
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 7188
   Posted 2/23/2009 7:16 PM (GMT -6)   
Doctors are far too quick to scare patients these days, due to fear of lawsuits. Don't let what he said get to you. I don't know if you've had an endoscopy before, but they're not that bad. The first one I had slightly sedated, and in August I had another without any sedation at all. You'll probably want sedation, but you can rest assured that you'll be able to handle it fine.

If you're going through all those problems, you've probably got some major GERD issues. An endoscopy is probably in order. It sounds like your doc regretted his comment as soon as he said it. Don't worry. Relax, think positive thoughts, and trust that things will be fine. Be sure to let us know how the endoscopy goes! Best of luck, and think happy thoughts!

acidgirl
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 73
   Posted 2/23/2009 10:19 PM (GMT -6)   
Thanks dencha for your quick reply. It is 3am in the morning in the uk and ive not slept a wink. Yes the seed of doubt is well a truly planted. He was an asian doctor and didn't seem that bothered that he was putting the fear of God up me. What do you mean fear of lawsuits? Are you in the states?

I thought it was GERD ive only had 6 capsules of lansoprazole, surely it would take longer than that to repair an inflamed oesophagus?

I'll try to think happy thoughts but im finding it impossible.

stupid doctor.

I will keep you posted yes.

dencha
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 7188
   Posted 2/24/2009 10:37 AM (GMT -6)   
Trust me--it takes LOTS longer than that to heal a burned esophagus. Mine has taken weeks and months before. Once it's burned, it's burned. It'll heal...you can be confident of that. (of course the length of time it takes to get feeling better, depends upon how severe the irritation/burn is.) Just be really careful what you eat. No acidic or spicy foods, alcohol, cut back on any over the counter meds/vitamins, etc. Give your stomach a big rest.

Just think...is it going to help you to stress over it? We all know that stress only makes GERD/stomach acid worse. Try some deep breathing, relaxation, exercise (not right after eating), read a book, take a bath, do something nice for yourself. Keep your thought positive, and think about things in your life you can be grateful for. You mind can't think of good thoughts and bad thoughts at the same time. Work really hard to stay positive.

You'll be fine! Be sure to keep us posted! Greetings to the UK! I live in Central New York State, USA.

acidgirl
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 73
   Posted 2/24/2009 11:51 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi again dencha, your such a great help for me. Ive been at mums all day as I cant stand to be alone for some reason. Im getting so anxious with insomnia im actually feeling depersonalisation and derealisation Im sure this will pass as soon as I get my results, can swallow again and have some decent sleep! I ate some mushroom soup today and that even burned my throat out, the tiny bits of mushroom were lodging in my throat. The weights dropping off me, it is very convincing that you think you have cancer when you mind is shredded. Im trying to watch my favourite tv shows to take my mind off things. Im probably over-reacting to my situation, mum thinks so haha.. funnily enough my mum suffers from disphagia but hers is caused by cervical spondylitis. Off to rest now. Thanks alot for your responses I am listening :)

dencha
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 7188
   Posted 2/24/2009 1:32 PM (GMT -6)   
Believe me, I know it's hard to wait for that type of healing. My weight fell off, too. You can't keep weight off when you can't eat normally! Unfortunately, (unless you're already really slim), the weight will surely come back, once you're eating again! I'm heading towards a Nissen Fundoplication on Friday morning, in hopes that it helps my GERD and uncontrollable asthma that my doctors think it is causing.

I'm having to use all my tools to stay positive, not worry, and have a good attitude. After that surgery, eating is a huge issue, and it takes a long time to get back to normal. I've experienced so many burned esophagus episodes, though, that I'm ready.

Your doctor was wrong to plant fear in your mind. You can't rush the tests and results, so you'll just have to use every ounce of emotional strength you can muster to get yourself in the positive and stop worrying. You can be sure that the great people at this forum will give you TONS of support, so keep posting your experiences and feelings!

I'll keep in touch...I may be out of commission for a couple days, but I'll get back on as soon as I can.
Best wishes, friend. You can do this!

acidgirl
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 73
   Posted 2/24/2009 2:23 PM (GMT -6)   
Dencha you are an angel, you are going through so much yourself and here is me harping on. I hope your Nissen goes well. ((hugs)) Yes I feel like giving that doctor a good slap to be honest. Do let me know how you get on please. Yes, im trying everything to stay positive, not sure how to get my brain out of the anxiety 'stuck on' switch, but I'm tricking my brain everything is fine by just being my normal self and doing normal things. Seems to be working abit.

All the best dear.

I can do this!

dencha
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 7188
   Posted 2/24/2009 8:04 PM (GMT -6)   
Yes you can! It sounds like you've got the right idea. Stay busy and don't focus on your fears...focus on positives. You CAN control what your mind thinks about. Lots of people allow themselves to be victims of their thoughts. You CAN decide what you allow into your mind. Try to shoo out those painful thoughts and only let in the good ones!

I have a laptop computer, so I'm planning on getting back on it as soon as I can after getting home from the hospital. With any luck I'll come home after only one night in the hospital. You never know how things will go, though. I'm not allowing worries to take over my mind. When they try to creep in, I chase them right out! I'm preparing myself to accept whatever direction my recovery takes. I'm going to practice surrendering to what is--not fighting it. Hopefully I'll have the strength to keep my mind in the positive.

Remember that your mind and body will work together to help you heal. I'm glad you could spend time with your mum. It's good for you to be with somebody. Be sure to stay around positive people, though! You don't want to get on the "pity pot"!
It's a pleasure getting to know you! Best of luck. I'll keep checking back to see how you're doing. I don't go to the hospital until Friday morning.
Hope you got some rest!
Denise

acidgirl
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 73
   Posted 2/26/2009 5:17 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Dencha how are you? I'm taking one day at a time, I've lost a few pounds and getting skinny, but that's due to stress anxiety, not to mention the dysphagia on-top of it all! It's really hard staying positive and certain times in the day makes things worse for some reason... weird! I'm beginning to dread every meal now, I suppose its a vicious cycle. Good luck for Friday (tomorrow).

I'll keep checking back to see how you are doing.

Jules

dencha
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 7188
   Posted 2/26/2009 8:38 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Jules,
Thanks for your kind wishes. Yes, I'm on for the surgery tomorrow, so things will be moving forward for me. I will surrender to the process and allow my healing to take it's time and find it's path. This forum is a great way to receive understanding, support, and information from people who have "been there". I'll be back online as soon as I can after surgery to let everyone know how it's going.

Are you having any tests to look at what's going on in your throat? I'm a second grade teacher, and my principal, who also has GERD, experienced those types of swallowing problems, due to the effects of her GERD. She's had to go in and have her throat dialated a few times, and seems to be fine now.

Anxiety is definitely part of it, too. I've been advised that I need to be patient, take small bites, and drink sips of warm tea or water before each swallow. I actually read that bites should be no bigger than a salad crouton, and chewed thoroughly. Perhaps until you get things working again, you should eat as if you've had the fundoplication surgery. You can look on this forum for advice on that.

Be sure to follow up with your doctor (and see if you can get another doctor if you don't like the one you're dealing with--I switched GI doctors, and I'm so glad I did) You have to be comfortable with your doctor.

Best wishes, Jules! I'll be thinking of you, and will write back when I can.
Denise

stkitt
Elite Member


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 2/26/2009 10:28 AM (GMT -6)   

acidgirl

Good Morning, this is Kitt.  I just want to welcome you to the GERD and Heartburn forum.  I have been reading your  postings with dencha and I am so glad the two of you have connected.

You are supporting each other so well that I am proud to see you both finding HW to be a safe place to come and find caring and support.

Please stick with us and we do have a newbies forum I will bring to the top if you would like to share a bit about yourself with all.

Again a warm welcome.

Kitt


 

Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
&  Moderator GERD  Forums

*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
Peace does not dwell in outward things, but within the soul
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources


acidgirl
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 73
   Posted 2/26/2009 3:53 PM (GMT -6)   
Hello stkitt, thanks for the lovely welcome, this forum is a lifesaver, it really is especially at 3am in the morning when your racked with fear and distress, it is nice to connect to other people in the same situation and yes it is nice to get help but also share advice. I am thinking of dencha and what she is going through at this time. I will defiantly be looking around the rest of the forum :)

I got my blood test back today and I DON'T have the H Pylori bug. I've also got an endoscopy booked for Saturday, I'm eating but not that much, so until I find out what is going on I will remain anxious on the eating front. The dysphagia has subsided so thats ok at the moment, I'm still on edge though and don't want it turning into an eating disorder.

Thanks again Kitt.

dencha
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 7188
   Posted 2/26/2009 6:43 PM (GMT -6)   
Just hang in there, Jules. I'll be thinking of you. It's hard to wait to take the tests and for tests to get back, but try to relax as much as you can. I'll be anxious to see how you're doing when I'm back online after surgery. Be strong for me, okay! You can do it!

I'm determined to keep my thoughts positive. You work on doing the same thing! After I get back, we can commiserate on all our eating and swallowing problems! We'll be fine.

Take care, rest, relax, and keep those worries out of your head!
Talk to you soon.
Denise

MrGrinch
New Member


Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 14
   Posted 2/26/2009 7:01 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi there... I went through this same ordeal the last few month. In November / December I noticed that my swallowing gradually was getting worse... and I lost about 20 pounds as well (but was dieting and exercising). Anyways like you I got very very anxious and totally ruined my Christmas and February vacation fretting over the possibility of having esophagheal cancer while I waited for my scope. My doctor reassured me that he thought it was globus hysericus due to my anxiety and after getting the biospsy results today can officially say the he was right and was able to rule out cancer. My swallowing now still is a bit compromised by the past few weeks since the scope and reassurance of the doctor based on his visual assessment it got much mich better. He thinks its just a motility problem.

So my advice to you is just hang in there and try not to let it bother you. The probability is VERY VERY low. You seem anxious... how to do you for sure it is not globus hystericus? You cannot diagnose this. As well... espophagheal cancer is a RARE cancer that increases in incidence by sex (ie males) and age (ie over the age of 65). Do either of those sound like you? Try to relax... I am sure everything will be just fine. :)

MrGrinch
New Member


Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 14
   Posted 2/26/2009 7:07 PM (GMT -6)   
By the way if you want to see my original post on my problem check here...

http://www.healingwell.com/community/default.aspx?f=45&m=1358731

We sound similar, don't we? :)

acidgirl
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 73
   Posted 2/27/2009 5:40 AM (GMT -6)   
Hiya Dencha and MrGrinch,

Firstly Denise, I'm thinking of you at this moment in time and how you are getting on with your Nissen. I will also be anxious to see how your operation went. I hope it is successful. Fingers crossed, legs crossed and eyes crossed lol! The fog will clear eventually. Relax relax relax! Good luck, im routing for ya hun.

Mr Grinch, 20 pounds wow! I hope I don't lose that much I would disappear lol. I'm sorry to hear you are having a few problems also. Imagine if the human body was a car! We would ask for our monies back! What a stupid design ay, just a little thin membrane stopping the most corrosive substance known to man entering a tube that is unprotected.. someone needs sacking LOL!! Human design fault?? Oh yes globus hiliarous (lol) ive had that but years ago, it felt like a garden pea flapping round in my throat, but I was stressed over work. This is different, I have continual huskiness, throat clearing, dysphagia, aches and pains, general anxiety and sometimes de-realization due to worry. It gets better each day though. Positive thinking DOES work!! But, it is an up-hill struggle.

I think cancer is on everyones minds these days. Surrounds us all.

Yeh MrGrinch I will track back your link. Thanks for your post and I will see you around :)

Stay cool, good luck everyone. Jules

dencha
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 7188
   Posted 2/28/2009 1:15 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Jules,
Thanks for the good wishes and crossed parts! I'm home from my surgery and doing quite well. Really tired, though--no sleep to be had there.

I'm going to post a thread on the front page, so I can report my healing path in hopes of helping others who are considering the surgery.

I just wanted to respond to you especially! I like having a new friend across the big pond!
It sounds like you're thinking lots more positive thoughts!

Talk to you soon.
Denise

acidgirl
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 73
   Posted 3/1/2009 3:22 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Denise, oh that's good news, I hope you are feeling much better. You will be tired, I'm sure you will catch up in a day or so. I will be reading your posts to see how you are getting on :)

It's been great making new friends although not from the standard ways we usually make friends but great all the same and we help one another immensely.

An update

Well I went to have my gastroscopy yesterday, I spoke to the consultant and gave him an insight into my symptoms, it was brief as he seemed rushed.. I mentioned about the reflux and the swallowing issues and noted that when I was 18 I was exercising (squat thrusts) and felt a popping inside my stomach, almost immediately I got acid rising in my chest, that was the first time I'd experienced reflux. I've often thought after all these years I may have a hiatus hernia. The consultant said, yep sounds like a hernia...BUT I've had an gastroscopy before and it was never mentioned. So unsure if I have one or not.

Anyway..the procedure went as predicted, I told them I NEEDED sedation and hopefully I wouldnt remember what was going on, they said I would be concious but sedated. They noted my anxiety and proceeded to pump me full of drugs, they gave me the whole lot! But that didnt work, no sooner as they rolled the scope over my tongue I ripped it out! They gave up in the end. The I don't remember much until they offered me some tea. I thought they rushed me too fast and didnt give the drug chance to kick in.

Do you need to be concious for your swallow reflex to work??

Anyway, ive had a letter saying that im not a good patient for the scope and decided to do a barium swallow instead...

My dysphagia has gone (thank God) I managed to eat a vegetable curry last night with no problems.

So... I will be back to see how everyone else is doing :)

Jules

dencha
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 7188
   Posted 3/1/2009 7:06 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Jules--so sorry you experienced so much trauma with the endoscopy. I know that many people find that procedure unbearable. I'm lucky that I've got a strong "mind over matter" sense, and can allow something like that to happen without fighting it. We're all individuals, though, and every one of us responds to things differently. We're victims of our own unique personalities and upbringings.

I'm sure they'll find out lots of information from the barium swallow. I really dreaded that procedure, but found it very benign. The chalky stuff that you have to drink isn't bad at all. I was pleasantly surprised.

Some medical professionals are more scientist than caregiver. I think it takes compassion and caring to make a truly skilled practitioner. I know that skill with the procedures you experience is paramount, but if a medical professional can't communicate compassionately with his/her patients, it decreases his/her effectiveness dramatically.

Getting a doctor who realizes the importance of communicating (especially LISTENING--really listening to the patient), and treating their patient with deep respect, is so important.

When I have a doctor that doesn't fit that description, I'm out trying to find a replacement! Can't do that with doctors and technicians who are performing tests, though.

It sounds like you're relaxing a bit, Jules. That's good. Listen to McGrinch--he has lots of good advice, so take it to heart. This too will pass.
Take care!
Denise

acidgirl
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 73
   Posted 3/1/2009 8:40 AM (GMT -6)   
HI Dencha, your so right about what you say! It's like been on a conveyor belt...NEXT! Im kicking myself that I couldnt go through it, maybe they need a mallet to knock me out lol. My swallowing is a bit dodgy today, the banana im eating feels like its taking ages to get through my esophagus, and when I press my gullet to my diaphragm I get air coming up and a tight burning sensation. Im hoping its a hernia and not strictures or narrowing. Ive been plagued by mind demons still, but I'm getting to the point where Im past caring and getting on with it, no point stressing thats not going to help!

Well, I hope your are feeling much better after your op, and your having some me time, or should I say you time ;)

Jules

dencha
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 7188
   Posted 3/1/2009 7:59 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Jules--I'm sure you're not the only one who has found it impossible to tolerate an endoscopy. It is a very challenging procedure. You sound like you're doing better, and are ready to let some of your worry go. It isn't helping you, so why not let it go?

I've read that bananas can be one of the more challenging things to eat. Maybe you should go online and look for post Nissen diets, or GERD/swallowing issue diets, and see what you should stay away from, until you get this resolved.

I can tell you that I was hospitalized for a week, about four years ago, and my stomach and esophagus were totally burned. I couldn't eat more than a tablespoon at a time, and it was agony. The GERD flared up my asthma, and there was no controlling the asthma until the GERD subsided, which took months.

So remember...this too will pass! You'll get over this, and be just fine!
Good luck! I'll post my surgical journey on a new thread. Talk to you soon.
Denise

acidgirl
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 73
   Posted 3/2/2009 1:15 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Denise, I hope your are ok and that you're not in any pain or anything.

Haha, its pathetic the way I carry on with the endoscopy, mind you I gag just looking a paracetamol lol!

Bananas really I see, my swallowing probs come and go, its more of a tight esophagus, dry stuff is more of a challenge. The consultant thought I may have a hernia, its strange because off the popping sound I got when I was 18, I'd been doing squat thrusts at school, then got loads of acid rising, the X ray barium should show that. That would explain the 'throat lock' strangled feeling I get, ive had that 3 years or so now.

Thanks for the tips about the GERD diets.

Your a brave lady you really are. You need a medal!!

I hope the Nissen solves all your problems and you can get back to a normal life very soon.

Look after yourself love xx

dencha
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 7188
   Posted 3/2/2009 3:44 PM (GMT -6)   
Thanks, Jules. It's great to have someone rooting for me! I went into this with my eyes WIDE open, and I made the choice to do it all by myself. Therefore, It's my responsibility to keep a positive outlook and do what I can to keep things going in the right direction.

Actually at this point, eating is better than I ever thought it would be. I have actually had a few spontaneous little burps, which have really relieved bloating. My doc said I wouldn't burp, but there's no doubt--some burps are popping out.

Reading other posts, I'm sure I'll have lots of ups and downs. I'm prepared.

Hang in there with your swallowing issues. Don't be making yourself crazy by worrying about it. It won't do you an ounce of good!
I'll be thinking of you!
D xxx

acidgirl
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 73
   Posted 3/3/2009 3:59 AM (GMT -6)   
Thanks D :)

Im so glad your feeling better, you can't do this alone hun. You sound relieved! How long have you been unwell?

I started with stomach issues when I was 18. Living on gaviscon and various antacids for half my life, enoughs enough now, I need forward thinking.
I'm glad I didn't get sick whilst in the middle of my course in psychology, I'd have never have got it finished..phew..

Your right about the craziness!

Thinking of you too.

btw, im on facebook ;)

So if you want to keep in touch I'll PM my email.

J x

dencha
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 7188
   Posted 3/3/2009 8:42 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi J turn I've had asthma all my life. I never noticed GERD until my first pregnancy. My GERD has gotten progressively worse over the past 20 years or so, and I've been on PPI's for about that long. I've had several episodes (set off by non-tolerated antibiotics/especially Augmentin) that have set off my GERD to the point that I was unable to eat, and actually lost as much as 20 pounds in a month's time or so.

My asthma has grown much worse over the past 4 years--started by a GERD episode that landed me in the hospital with uncontrolled acid and asthma. My asthma doc could not do anything with my asthma until the GERD was under control. I went on high doses of IV steroids. The GI docs I had at that time really didn't (or couldn't) do much for me. I had some tests, but nothing really happened for me. Finally, my family doc interceded and helped spring me from the hospital. It was nearly Christmas, and I knew I was just getting sicker in the hospital...no sleep, not as good care as i could give myself at home. Eventually, after months of not being able to eat more than a spoonful of custard/pudding/yogurt at a time, I gradually healed, and got back to "normal".

Anyway, I stayed with the GI office for a while, but really didn't get any relief from them. The communication wasn't good. I asked my family doc to refer me to another GI doc. He did, and I'm much more satisfied with him. I need someone I can talk to . I need to know what's going on, I need to have my questions answered, and my concerned considered respectfully and responded to. That wasn't happening with my other GI doc.

Last year, after foot surgery, I took antibiotics and pain meds, and got myself into yet another GERD episode--lost lots of weight/couldn't eat...it took at least 7 months to get my stomach better.

During this time, my asthma has been consistently uncontrolled. My doctors have been moving me towards this surgery, in hopes that it will be successful and help my lungs. I was referred to a surgeon, who put me through some tests, and recommended that I was a good candidate for the lap Nissen. I still wasn't in a hurry to jump into it, and wanted to make sure I was making the right decision. I went back to my GI doc, and he did another test (PH Monitor/I wasn't off the charts...fairly average, actually. However, it doesn't take much go get asthma going), and said that it was really my call--whether to go forward with surgery.

He referred me to a surgeon he said was excellent (he'd be confident to have the surgery done by this surgeon on himself). I made an appointment to talk to the surgeon. I was impressed with his bedside manner, and with lots of positive comments from many medical professionals, so I went home and gave it some more thought. I then went back to him with my husband in tow, and made the decision to schedule the surgery.

It was a tough decision, but one I just had to "hold my nose" and jump in. So that's where I am now. Tomorrow I go back to see him again.

Except for my asthma, the recovery is going great. Of course everyone who has this surgery is paranoid that it won't hold, and won't work. That's one of the reasons that I resisted it so long. Going through a revision like this is a very big deal. I have to really work hard to do what I need to do--stay positive and relax into the process. Keep thinking good thoughts!

You're probably sorry you asked! Now you have the whole story. Do you know how to privately post emails? I know it's not good to put them up on these posts. It would be nice to communicate that way.
Hope you're feeling well, J!
Take care.
D X
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