I am sorry you are so upset but please take a deep breath and pull out of the panic mode. " Is this mistake going to cost me my life?"
I do not believe it will cost you your life and I woud bet that with the right Doctor you will be taken care of. Look at all the surgery Bill has been through and dang it he is alive and kicking and will be for a very long time.
In no way am I belittling your fear but I do think it may be time for you to get on a medication to help you with your aniety. There are many choices that your Doctor can explain to you. Do reach out to the professionals and advocate for yourself............get on a medication and perhaps even some therapy to help you get your thinking back in perspective.