Your situation parallels mine in many ways. I too have had a hard time picturing my life long-term since this whole GERD thing began. I feel so far removed from my old social circle and from my same-age peers who are seemingly in the prime of their lives. I have become rather hyper-focused on my health such as how you say you have become. I will say that dying from GERD-related effects is sooo rare. You should NOT let this disease stop you from starting a family. In fact, a child will be one of the BIGGEST distractions you can have from this :) Believe me, I have 2 big distractions ages 3 and 1 :) Plus, they will make you smile more whether you like it or not.
Regarding your intolerance to PPI's...have you tried multiple different ones? There are 8 on the market so don't stop at one or even 2. In addition, intolerance to PPI's due to side effects is one very plausible argument / reason to have the Nissen and just be done with this whole thing. That way, you can heal from the surgery while the bun is in the oven. You'll be ready to be the awesome dad you surely will be once the bun is cooked :)
I do still fight negative thoughts on a daily basis. I pray A LOT and that does help. I know that God has a plan and whatever it is, it's better than the one I would choose (somehow) and things will work out in the end. I have been on Prevacid for the last 6 weeks and it has been life changing in the way that I have had only 7 out of 29 days that have been "acidy" and the worst my pain has been is a 3/10 instead of a 7/10. Most days were a 1-2/10. I don't want to live with that but I know that I can. Also, it helps to know that there IS a surgery like the Nissen that is becoming more and more perfected as the years go by. I just read an article yesterday that says the number of potential side effects was down by a great percentage. I can't quote exactly but I think that trouble swallowing post-op was down to 6% and flatulence / bloating was down really low as well. This study was from 2008. Plus the success rate is so high. I'm not telling you what to do by any means but feel good knowing that there is another avenue for you to take besides PPI's.