How do your love ones like spouse, or gf, bf, react to your GERD?

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
[ << Previous Thread | Next Thread >> ]

Nickles
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2011
Total Posts : 296
   Posted 12/7/2011 7:09 PM (GMT -6)   
How does your bf/gf react to your condition?
 
 
I want to know about ppl in relatinships though because family is one thing but spouse and gf/bf is another.
 
are they supportive?
did you have the condition before you met your love one?
 
did you develop them during your relationship?
 
My gf for some reason does not understand as much as much as I try to explain to her what is going on with my body.
 
I am just curious if GERD has affected ppl relationships?
 
Are you alone or what kind of bad support or good support do you get?
 
I would like to hear if I am a rare case or their are others.
 
I been on this forum before but just been quiet the last few months.

aciphexo
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2011
Total Posts : 377
   Posted 12/7/2011 7:21 PM (GMT -6)   
Nickles .. you are not alone. No one else can understand what we go through.

My wife is very supportive but feels helpless. When I was going through depression and anxiety in the summer .. my wife helped me a lot. However, with the kids and so many house chores to do and stuff, there is not enough time to discuss this (as I don't like to talk about this in front of the kids).

This forum therefore is so ... so helpful .. (and by the way there are other forums too .. but I haven't felt the same level of comfort on those forums as I do here). I see a therapist, which helps too.

Nickles
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2011
Total Posts : 296
   Posted 12/7/2011 7:41 PM (GMT -6)   
My GERD got a little worse this spring. I had GERD before I met my gf I never really explained my condition but pulled through it the last 2 years before this spring. I gradually explained to her what was going on like in January of this year but she is not understanding.

As a GERD sufferer you ladies/gentlemen know that it can take a toll on your self and enjoyment of life. I a m trying to improve myself with a combination of things but she is not supportive. I can't really pull thought it without interfering in a conversation like talking on the phone or eating.

Idk am I alone?

Thanks ppi-less.

babygirl10150
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 639
   Posted 12/7/2011 7:47 PM (GMT -6)   
I have been with my fiance for 13 years. We have been through so much that would probably break a couple up. But this gerd is really tearing us apart. I have anxiety and depression because of it and it's definitely taking it's toll. He's supportive to a point but gets frustrated quickly. My family thinks it's nothing, I should eat whatever and pop a Tums. They don't understand it doesn't work that way, would be great if it did! There's many things I used to do that I can't now because of anxiety which makes my reflux worse. We have 3 kids under the age of 7 so are pretty busy but he doesn't get that I need his help around the house more than I did before. He gets a little more understanding when I describe what I'm feeling in detail but only for a few minutes. It's difficult not having great support but the people here have helped SO much!
Michelle

~Diagnosed with POTS 10/11~
~Nissen redo #3 coming soon~
~Nissen redo again 12/13/10~
~Nissen redo 05/10/10~
~Nissen 12/14/09~
~Colostomy 07/30/06~

Nickles
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2011
Total Posts : 296
   Posted 12/8/2011 3:04 AM (GMT -6)   
Can anyone else relate?

theacidrefluxman
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2009
Total Posts : 739
   Posted 12/8/2011 8:22 AM (GMT -6)   
I have to just echo what everyone else has written. It is interesting to know that others have been affected in a similar way to myself in terms of their relationships.

I get great support from my wife, who is by far the more optimistic one of us. Still, when I am depressed about my GERD I can bring even someone with her optimism down, and she can get something of a caregivers fatigue I guess from listening to all my thoughts, new trials, fears, etc. I developed GERD 2 years after meeting my wife, and we have been together for 6 years total.

My wife does try to keep me optimistic, and thinks I should eat what I want and not worry. I am a bit different though, in that what I eat seems to make absolutely no difference to my symptoms.

I will say that without my wife things would be much more difficult. She is the best listener I could have. Like others have said, the forum is a great place as well, especially when family gets frustrated or overburdened.

Nickles
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2011
Total Posts : 296
   Posted 12/8/2011 11:07 AM (GMT -6)   
That's good acidman, I am glad you have someone who is a great listener. For my case, I haven't talked to my gf in 2 weeks she said she believes I will ne'er get better but I tell her I will. My reflux is not horrible but enough to mess with my day. Thanks for those who responded, feel free to share ppl.

efit
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2011
Total Posts : 127
   Posted 12/8/2011 1:00 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Nickles,

I truly feel for you. I agree with ARM in that our closest loved ones do get a sort of "caregivers fatigue" (very well said). I am 30 and developed GERD 7 mo ago AFTER the birth of our second child. He, like ARM's wife is very optimistic and tells me things like "you won't have this forever...this will pass" but as we know GERD doesn't really pass but can be controlled or corrected with surgery. GERD has affected our marriage fairly substantially in that I am not nearly as upbeat as I once was and minor issues seem way bigger and harder to deal with now that I constantly have a GERD shadow over me. That negativity thus affects those around me though I try my hardest not to let it dampen my children's spirits. They are so fun and that helps me forget ever so momentarily that I have this. My toddler loves pizza and asks for it all the time. We haven't had it since this started though we plan on getting her some this weekend b/c it's not fair that my family has to eat as though they have this disease. It's strange b/c I can still remember so vividly how normal I used to be and I often (very often) wish I had a time machine to travel back to times of less worry. It's amazing how much stress this condition has added into my life. I find comfort in prayer and hope for a miracle. Meanwhile, I take Prevacid and hope for the best.

Wishing you happier times,
Liz

mudmagnetmum
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2011
Total Posts : 1604
   Posted 12/8/2011 3:30 PM (GMT -6)   
I too can only echo what others have said. We've been together 10 years, got 2 young children. GERD is very antisocial and that's where it's affected us the most. I was already a tricky customer to dine out with, having food allergies, with GERD on top it's even harder. So mostly we don't. OH is watching his weight, so that stops it from being too much of an issue.

I think the thing I really miss is being able to feed the children at tea time and then eat together as a couple, with a glass of wine, when they have gone to bed. We didn't do that daily, but a couple of times a week (with or without the wine!), and I really miss that peaceful dining and couple time. We all eat at the same time now, as a family, as my stomach won't wait and of course there's the whole 3 hours before lying down routine too....... and we're used to it, but I miss the option of a late relaxed meal.

I've just returned to work part time and I find the GERD thing there hard as they are constantly making cups of tea and coffee, which my bladder won't tolerate, let alone my stomach. I get tired of explaining why I only want water....... and the smell of coffee is cruel............

I get very tired of the pain and discomfort and that makes me fractious, and hubby is understanding but you do feel bad complaining about the same thing over and over. I have had daily pain for ages and it's depressing ......... like Liz said, I can remember being normal, how it felt, how everything tastes, the joy of a cup of coffee when you come in on a cold day......... heartbreaking........

MMM
New stuff: GERD. Interstitial Cystitis
Lifelong stuff: Food allergies, eczema, asthma

babygirl10150
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 639
   Posted 12/8/2011 7:58 PM (GMT -6)   
I just want to say that it is very depressing remembering how it was before I got sick. We used to go out for pizza, eat dinner together, have a drink after the kids went to bed, eat whatever I wanted. On my bad days I just sit and cry, wondering what I could have done to prevent this, if it will ever end (doesn't seem like it after all the meds and 3 nissens). I had no health problems for 3 years, otherwise intestinal issues since birth so I thought I paid my time with suffering. It really is heart breaking like MMM said. I think sometimes it's harder for loved ones to watch us suffer knowing they can't do anything about it and can lead to frustration.
Michelle

~Diagnosed with POTS 10/11~
~Nissen redo #3 coming soon~
~Nissen redo again 12/13/10~
~Nissen redo 05/10/10~
~Nissen 12/14/09~
~Colostomy 07/30/06~

Nickles
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2011
Total Posts : 296
   Posted 12/8/2011 10:57 PM (GMT -6)   
thanks, my fellow gerd sufferers, I am glad a majority of you have at least some support.

GERD has ruined 1 relationship and is going to ruin another one for me.

LocalGuy23
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2011
Total Posts : 620
   Posted 12/8/2011 11:05 PM (GMT -6)   
Wow, I was scared to open this thread up honestly......

I've been with my girlfriend for about 7 years....proposed last year....got hit with GERD/LPR months before we going to get married.

It rocked our relationship.....but to tell you truth it made it stronger. She has been by my side through my darkest hours and I know she will be with me to the end of this.

It's on me to get better no matter what it takes and she's supportive the whole way.

LocalGuy23
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2011
Total Posts : 620
   Posted 12/8/2011 11:05 PM (GMT -6)   
Wow, I was scared to open this thread up honestly......

I've been with my girlfriend for about 7 years....proposed last year....got hit with GERD/LPR months before we going to get married.

It rocked our relationship.....but to tell you truth it made it stronger. She has been by my side through my darkest hours and I know she will be with me to the end of this.

It's on me to get better no matter what it takes and she's supportive the whole way.

babygirl10150
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 639
   Posted 12/8/2011 11:11 PM (GMT -6)   
Don't let gerd run your life. Once you let your guard down it will take over. I know it's easier said than done but keep your head up. My disorders make it very difficult to function even halfway normal but if something is important to me, I won't let 'it' hold me back. Stay positive!
Michelle

~Diagnosed with POTS 10/11~
~Nissen redo #3 coming soon~
~Nissen redo again 12/13/10~
~Nissen redo 05/10/10~
~Nissen 12/14/09~
~Colostomy 07/30/06~

mock turtle
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2011
Total Posts : 467
   Posted 12/9/2011 1:13 AM (GMT -6)   
nobody in my family has a clue except my wife and like its been said above shes into care-givers fatigue and i dont blame her

i got about a half dozen malfunctions going on right now and shes darn tired of hearing me talk medicine, treatment and pain

again , i dont blame her at all cause when it counts she always been there for me and is a good listener at least half the time

a couple other members of the family have "heart burn" when they stuff themselves...their attitude is hey no big deal, just pop an antacid and get over it...when i explained the reflux gets into my air way etc they think im exaggerating and fishing for sympathy so for a long time now i just lie and and say yeah everything is just fine.... dont talk about it

only problem is at celebrations, holiday meals, etc, people remark that i dont take seconds and then use that as a jumping off point to b!^¢h about how i coddle myself....

so the people here are my line of support, period

bowecho
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2011
Total Posts : 146
   Posted 12/9/2011 1:48 AM (GMT -6)   
I got engaged this year as well. My fiance has been incredibly supportive, I thank God for her every day.

Its been hard, but we know in the end it will make our relationship stronger. The month leading up to my surgery was extra hard, as I was feeling the worst I ever have, and I was really anxious and nervous as I have never had any kind of surgery. I know it was wearing on her.

The rest of my family is somewhat aware of my issues, but my parents know everything. They have been really supportive as well.

Still, its hard for folks around me to know what I'm feeling since its not visible. Its caused a couple of problems with friendships, which luckily have been resolved after talking it out. Its also nice to visit this board where everyone knows how I feel.

Adam77
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2011
Total Posts : 148
   Posted 12/9/2011 2:21 PM (GMT -6)   
My wife is supportive. I am making changes in my diet, and she does not have a problem with my diet.

Nickles
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2011
Total Posts : 296
   Posted 12/9/2011 4:46 PM (GMT -6)   
I am happy for all you who have support from your spouse, fiancee or gf/bf.

Thanks, fellow members.

I guess part of the reason my gf does not understand is that we are not married or living together and been together for 2 years. She wants to do so many things but some things I can't do, like eating anything or everything she/I want.

Thanks again
New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
Forum Information
Currently it is Tuesday, September 18, 2018 8:02 PM (GMT -6)
There are a total of 3,004,460 posts in 329,148 threads.
View Active Threads


Who's Online
This forum has 161739 registered members. Please welcome our newest member, pinky;spoorback.
233 Guest(s), 10 Registered Member(s) are currently online.  Details
OzLyme, logoslidat, Ss800, Admin, wednesday77, mordant, FamilyGuy, CatskillsMelanie, straydog, Buddy Blank