Thanks, we'll see. I am hopeful, because in my opinion people who are the most a certain way were at one time the most opposite....at least this is something I have noticed now and then and tend to believe. I.e. those who lived the most crazy lives often see a change of heart and become the most calm. So a few of the calmest people out there used to be the most raucous earlier in life (in my opinion).
So I think that after being one of the most chronic worriers, I have the potential to become one of the most optimistic people...and then people will say "well, you know in his 20's he had some health problem that completely changed him and led to how he is now...he used to worry about
it quite a lot".
Yeah, I reached out to MT at a low point b/c I so often came on here to vent and didn't want to bother everyone yet again. He sent a nice email that helped out a lot, although I had no idea it would get me to how accepting that I am now. In fact, sometimes I am so unstressed about
it now that my friends of wife seem to be more worried than I am about
it. That used to be unthinkable for me. The downside is sometimes I think "maybe I should worry more, maybe I will have bad luck and get a bad outcome, and soon", and if I don't worry I won't be prepared for when it happens.
But I just have to remember how hard living with worry is compared to now...its healthier and easier now than ever (except for before my GERD), so no matter what happens I know that living worry free as much as possible is the only way to live. I am REALLY hoping that it is not a phase and that I can keep it up long-term despite symptoms.
EDIT: Just wanted to add, resignation for me doesn't = not following up and working with my dr. It doesn't mean I don't eat brocolli sprouts daily, eat extremely healthy, drink room temp. green tea, take a shot of olive oil now and then...and anything else that can help against the risk of esophageal cancer. But honestly, at the end of the day, I can trust my dr. or not. If I trust him that my risk of cancer is extremely low and that I should not be worried about
it, I can live a bit better. Or I can do what I used to...look up different studies, try to get more information, keep constant vigilance for new info, etc.
I know which way I live better. And I know which way is healthier too. As hard as it has been to lose control over the symptoms and my body, being hypervigilant won't get it back. I know humans aren't perfect and my Dr. may be wrong, but by trusting him and his experience I can live better. And regardless of the outcome for any of us, living better now is what's important. Even if we all had Barrett's right now and a high risk of cancer, we still know that we will probably live. So lets not waste life worrying. Of course, it is easier for me given what my Dr. (and other doctors) have told me, and given that I don't have Barrett's.
Post Edited (theacidrefluxman) : 2/26/2012 7:45:25 AM (GMT-7)