Venting: non GERD sufferers getting on my nerves

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ericapeace2000
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Date Joined Mar 2012
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   Posted 4/10/2012 12:20 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi everyone,
 
I am having a hard last few days with regards to a few people in my life who are non GERD sufferers. I am so sick of the blank stares when I say that I can not eat something and the constant questions. I realize that most people are not aware of the Acid Reflux diet but I have explained it to these people many times.  And they still look at me blankly and say "Why?" Because I will be in pain is why.  Then it is usually followed up with, " I could never do that" and then I think to myself, well, if you were in pain like me, you would. I almost feel like they get angry with me when I say I can't eat something instead of just leaving it alone.  If I say I can't have it, then don't keep making it seem like I am insane. I don't want to eat this way, but I feel terrible if I don't. No matter how many times I explain it, some people just do not get it. One person asked me if my doctor told me to eat this way or did I "come up with it on my own" OMG I was fuming inside. My colleagues keep commenting on how much weight I have lost and how now I am "skinny" making me feel self-concious. I am just venting today. There are people in my life who really do understand but there are some many who dont who just get under my skin sometimes.

new_2012
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Date Joined Mar 2012
Total Posts : 88
   Posted 4/10/2012 12:37 PM (GMT -6)   
ericapeace2000,

I totally understand what you have been going through. I guess you need a time out from these ppl. You dont want to stess yourself as that may increase your gerd symptoms. I lost 10 pounds in 1 month and my colleague told me that I look pretty. I felt miserable inside even though according to her I am becoming "pretty".

I hate the suggestions that Non-gerd ppl hand out freely. It drives me crazy. Constant nudging to eat something which is acidic.

Hope you feel better and just relax !!!

Cylon101
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Date Joined Mar 2012
Total Posts : 68
   Posted 4/10/2012 12:45 PM (GMT -6)   
yep, I can relate.

Over easter I had to explain at a few different meals why I can't have tomatoes, or onions, or spice etc.

The real fun was telling people for the 100th time I can't eat any of the chocolate easter eggs.

ericapeace2000
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Date Joined Mar 2012
Total Posts : 1110
   Posted 4/10/2012 12:45 PM (GMT -6)   
Thanks for the support. I am a therapist so I know that stress will aggravate it more so I just have been managing things by deep breathing and supports such as family/friends and this forum. It is just frustrating that I am doing something positive for myself and I have to be aggravated. It is hard enough to be on the diet as is. The constant food planning and preparation is aggravation enough. And when I explain it to people, they look at me like they think I am making this up. Really...I would make this up because I love eating this way....seriously. I think I am just having a bad few days, I am getting married in a few weeks and I think I am just irritable.

ericapeace2000
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Date Joined Mar 2012
Total Posts : 1110
   Posted 4/10/2012 12:49 PM (GMT -6)   
I brought my own food to my finace's mother's house because I knew there would not be anything I could eat. As they all were stugffing themselves with cheesecake (which is my favorite) I had to remove myself from the table so that I would not start crying.

Cylon101
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2012
Total Posts : 68
   Posted 4/10/2012 1:13 PM (GMT -6)   
Stress definitely makes me worse. I was stressed at work last week and could feel my throat tightening to the point of nearly choking a few times.

ericapeace2000
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Date Joined Mar 2012
Total Posts : 1110
   Posted 4/10/2012 1:59 PM (GMT -6)   
I definetly agree about the stress. I had a major flare up 2 months before my wedding which is when I decided to tighten up my diet. I may feel better after the wedding and I just may be able to eat some things I enjoy

stkitt
Elite Member


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 4/10/2012 5:58 PM (GMT -6)   
My hubby has Crohn's Disease (35 years) 4 surgeries etc - He must stick to foods that he can tolerate.  He is very good at not giving a darn about what people say re his food choices.
 
Learn to assert yourself around the "food-pushers." If the reason you want to hide that your food plan  is because of other people's pushiness, being assertive is a much-needed part of your diet. Food-pushers can be very rude and thoughtless, whether or not they know you're on a special diet and it's important to simply state that you are fine and don't want anything else more without turning it into an emotional discussion. In addition, remind yourself that it's your right and choice to keep your  diet plan  to yourself, to avoid judgmental and undermining attitudes. At the end of the day, there isn't a right to demand that people explain their dietary habits.
 
Vent away as I know how annoying it is to have people make personal comments about your body, dietary habits etc. 
 
Kindly,
Kitt
~~Kitt~~
Moderator: Anxiety, Osteoarthritis,
GERD/Heartburn and Heart/Cardiovascular Disease.

www.healingwell.com

"Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass...
It's about learning how to dance in the rain."~ Vivian Greene

Post Edited (stkitt) : 4/11/2012 10:38:07 AM (GMT-6)


Lynnwood
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Date Joined May 2005
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   Posted 4/10/2012 7:17 PM (GMT -6)   
I remember being told: "No" is a complete sentence. As in: "No." Usually, I am a little more political and say: "No, thank-you."

Sometimes people are just downright nosy and it's none of their business what I choose to eat/not eat or why/why not!
Lynnwood, Lupus & Sjogren's Moderator
DIAGNOSING-LUPUS & LUPUS-RESOURCES
"Life is far too important to be taken seriously" - Oscar Wilde

KitKat880
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2012
Total Posts : 132
   Posted 4/10/2012 7:59 PM (GMT -6)   
I've been struggling to get my symptoms under control for about two months now and am doing my best to be careful about what I eat, though I think for me quantity seems to be the biggest issue. I have a co-worker that knows what's going on with my health, but he keeps offering me food I that I can't have! He'll come into the office with fried chicken, french fries, all kinds of greasy, fatty foods, and then offers to share. Sometimes even just smelling the food feels like torture. I don't normally eat poorly, but it's nice to be able to indulge every once in a while, and now I can't indulge at all!

I've also had co-workers comment on the weight I have lost (20 lbs in 2 months with only walking for exercise) and they want to know the secret to my success. After being pestered for so long about it, I finally told them I was sick. The response is always, "Oh", followed by awkward silence. Now there is probably some rumor going around the office that I have cancer.

I know this is a bit off topic, but is anyone else sick of hearing other people whine and complain about inconsequential things that don't really impact their overall well-being? This gets on my nerves even more than the food issue! I feel like saying, "Oh, you want something to really complain about? Let's trade!" I know I'm not dying and there are people out there with illnesses that are much worse, but these symptoms are driving me crazy!

ericapeace2000
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Date Joined Mar 2012
Total Posts : 1110
   Posted 4/10/2012 8:38 PM (GMT -6)   
Oh I totally understand KitKat. When you have a condition, it is easy to get envious of non GERD people. I have caught myself wishing I had someone else's stomach. As for those who offer you food you can't eat....this happens often. I get sick of repeating myself. It is frustrating, This condition is enough to drive anyone crazy. Many people have reflux on occasion, this is much worse. I think because people have experienced occasional reflux issues that they assume that those with GERD feel the same. The amount of time I spend on managing my reflux is ungodly.

Burninghell
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2011
Total Posts : 43
   Posted 4/10/2012 9:18 PM (GMT -6)   
i remember last year when i said enough was enough i was sick of the pain and having episodes where i'd feel like death all night, i was gonna go in and finally get looked at.

turns out It was acid reflux (which i recently had surgery for and am recovering) and when I posted it on my facebook what was wrong with me a person replied......acid reflux thats all it is?



what do you mean thats all it is? I felt terrible for days, weeks, even months on end, day after day and they said thats it? like i was just suppose to grow a pair and put up with it.

I mean i've heard of the disease and perhaps call me ignorant but i had no idea that its what i've been putting up with for years.

Now that i got diagnosed with it i came to understand that there are so many other ppl like me in the same boat putting up with the same frustrating pain, i found a few ppl that i know have it which was good cause i could then talk to them about it and get some tips etc and it just made me feel better mentally talking to someone who understands.

ppl i know are pretty understanding, ppl offer pizza, i just say i can't have pizza they ask why i tell them i have acid reflux it'll make me feel like crap, i guess my uncle best described it its almost like an allergy etc.

I guess in my case no one has really giving me problems when i tell them i can't have certain things, its frustrating when they have no idea how much pain a person is dealing with on a day to day basis.

aeshleyrose
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Date Joined Jul 2011
Total Posts : 656
   Posted 4/10/2012 10:58 PM (GMT -6)   
Hey everyone!

Acid reflux sucks, there's no doubt about that. While I'm taking the high road here, I've had to keep a few roundhouse kicks to myself when I hear "Just take some Tums!", if you know what I'm sayin.

The reason people don't think it's a big deal is because all the hear about it are the TV commercials where the fat guy eats too many spicy chili dogs. He's in pain. His family looks on in horror. Then he pops a Zantac 75 and eats another dog on camera with a huge smile.

Plus, we here on the forum are the unlucky ones whom still have symptoms despite our treatments. It sucks, for sure. Most people are able to pop a pill and it goes away no problem.

However, where I get irritated is when people think I'm overreacting after I've explained to them that it's a seriously painful condition. That does irritate me to no end.

Burninghell
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2011
Total Posts : 43
   Posted 4/11/2012 12:50 AM (GMT -6)   
^ yeah exactly, everyone i mention it to says oh just take some prilosec that'll straighten you right out.


I'm like yeah.....i've been eating those things like skittles......they help a little bit.

aeshleyrose
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2011
Total Posts : 656
   Posted 4/11/2012 5:54 AM (GMT -6)   
Yeah, when I mention that I'm pushing for surgery after a horrible year, people really don't understand. I made a friend who has chronic back pain and she's really the only one who understands (besides you guys, of course). People think when you're sick, you should look sick, which is a horrible misapprehension. I hope society gets away from that mentality soon.

Also on my list are those who have heartburn, but it isn't that bad. Like people who say, "Oh yeah, I get that sometimes and I just ignore it." How nice for you. Sometimes my heartburn leaves me in tears.

Sigh. It's our cross to bear. Thank God we all have each other :)

ericapeace2000
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Date Joined Mar 2012
Total Posts : 1110
   Posted 4/11/2012 7:53 AM (GMT -6)   
I appreciate all the shared venting, it makes me feel so much better. The worst is social situations. People have asked me why I am not eating and they give me that blank confused stare when I say I can not have anything. I am lucky that I do have friends and family that have seen me suffer for years and are somewhat understanding but there are a lot of people in my life that just do not get it. They hear acid reflux and they do not take it seriously at all. They tell me that me being stressed is probably causing it...which I think may aggravate it, but this is not a made up condition. A couple people I know have other digestive disorders and they are helpful. GERD is a nasty condition.

Cylon101
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2012
Total Posts : 68
   Posted 4/11/2012 11:20 AM (GMT -6)   
@aeshelyrose

I agree on how "reflux" is potrayed in media. Most people think that you only suffer the "Pain of Acid Reflux" if you eat bowls of chili or two dozen chicken wings and pizza. And that it only bothers people in their middle ages who've had a life of sedentary activity and horrible diets.

Maybe if we walked around with glowing chests like E.T. then we'd get more understanding of how debilitating and frustrating it can really be for people.

Even one of my family members didn't really understand or believe the complications and symptoms being as bad. They couldn't believe I had to cut out so many foods, or sleep on an angle to try and help out.

G.

ericapeace2000
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Date Joined Mar 2012
Total Posts : 1110
   Posted 4/11/2012 11:39 AM (GMT -6)   
the worst is when I tell them I have the atypical symptoms of reflux which means little heartburn but chest pain, lump in throat feelings and stomach pain. They do not believe that what I describe is reflux because of the little heartburn. When they ask me about my endoscopy results, (mild non erosive reflux) they downplay it even more because I don't have any "real" damage. I feel like handing them a book to read on it lol.

paul29
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Date Joined Apr 2012
Total Posts : 23
   Posted 5/7/2012 1:44 PM (GMT -6)   
The comments in this thread are so true it is hard having to deal with GERD but even harder when no one seems to understand how much pain you are in, I once said to a family member when I was really low that sometimes I wish I had a terminal illness just so people would understand. I was diagnosed with acid reflux about a year ago although I have had symptoms for years I just put down to IBS or having a bad stomach never linked all the symptoms such to acid reflux, I went from about 15stone to 11.5stone in about 3 months I was in agony when this first hit me it was serious the pains I was getting at night would be awful so I just decided to stop eating so now I have to deal with acid reflux and the weight loss people everywhere I go say things like ''your to skinny you used to be such a big lad eat this eat that get a pint of lager down you'' I would give anything to get back to my old size I hate being skinny but thats never going to happen, the only good thing to come out of this is now I have a completely different out look at life as when I first had the stomach pains I was getting I actually thought I was die'n now I know I am not its like bring it on world give me your worst, stress contributes to about 70% of this condition, the rest is controlled by meds and diet, I have all my symptoms under control now thankfully so if any one says anything about your weight or because your not eating stay calm and collected and let them know the situation if they dont understand after you have told them a few times and still go on and on then they are people you need to cut out of life anyway.

aeshleyrose
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Date Joined Jul 2011
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   Posted 5/7/2012 3:31 PM (GMT -6)   
I feel you, Paul. I found myself without quite a few friends when I had to stop drinking. It's a really hard road. Luckily we're all here for each other :)

Alcie
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Date Joined Oct 2009
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   Posted 5/7/2012 4:45 PM (GMT -6)   
I even had to take my own food when I was in the hospital for my Nissen (Toupet) surgery. There's almost no hospital food I tolerate. If I'm going to a catered dinner I always inquire ahead of time what's on the menu and ask for some very plain chicken and a simple salad with no dressing.

After many years of this I've gotten over the looks, and I just explain I have food allergies (easier than explaining in detail, and always accepted). There's usually something being served I can eat. Missing part of a meal is not going to kill me. I can smile and choose to have a good time. It's lots better than complaining.

ericapeace2000
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Date Joined Mar 2012
Total Posts : 1110
   Posted 5/7/2012 5:35 PM (GMT -6)   
I used the "food allergy" excuse when i was on my honeymoon recently and it worked most of the time. part of my honeymoon was on a cruise and they went nuts when they heard food allergies....they wanted a list of everything I was allergic to. I finally just had to explain the condition and request no seasoning. Sheesh. I probably should have let them know ahead of time but I did not think it was a big deal to just throw some chicken on a grill plain.  I always ask for dressing on the side and then dip my salad slightly in the dressing. When I am home the GERD diet does not bother me as much, it is just when I am out. All the food I would like to have is right infront of my nose. Too much temptation.

MultiFundo
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Date Joined May 2012
Total Posts : 46
   Posted 5/7/2012 7:15 PM (GMT -6)   
Oh goodie. A chance to vent. 2 Nissens and recurrent symptoms, I'm now on anti-reflux and anti-dumping syndrome diets (I haven't been able to tolerate meat products or high-sugar items without occasional dumping). I have tremendous difficulty eating out at restaurants, because everybody cooks with things that I just can't handle. I am a professional student, and networking events are all centered around alcohol and greasy food. I won't touch either and feel like I'm constantly under pressure, and likely hurting my career prospects, because I'm sick. I'm glad to be able to vent with some people in the same boat.

ericapeace2000
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Date Joined Mar 2012
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   Posted 5/7/2012 8:56 PM (GMT -6)   
You just have to be vocal about what u can and can't have. Most chain restaurants have no problem making the food plain. Use the food allergy thing if you need.

bhamboy
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2012
Total Posts : 31
   Posted 5/11/2012 2:04 PM (GMT -6)   
I had to laugh (either that or cry) when reading this post because its so true. I've experienced similar comments and looks for years, glad im not the only one.
 
Well said
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