Are your family and friends supportive?

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NoDoubtLove
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2012
Total Posts : 359
   Posted 11/5/2012 8:11 PM (GMT -6)   
Most people don't fully understand what GERD is and how severe it really can be. I feel most people don't understand the daily pain, fear of food, problems sleeping, the list can go on and on as we all know :(

Do you guys have a good support group? I feel so alone with all of this. Granted, I'm sure people are sick and tired of hearing me complain or "be difficult" because I can't go eat this or that or because I'm too exhausted to go out. I feel as though most of my friends just moved on and don't want to hear it. I have learned not to talk about anything unless I'm asked, even then I barely give details anymore.

I've had 2 people ask if I'm bulimic and that the heartburn is caused from throwing up too much. I find that offensive. Yes, I've lost a lot of weight and am very underweight but to think it's because I'm bulimic? It's just like "Thanks guys, this issue is NOT by choice!"

My husband asked me tonight "Don't you ever get sick of feeling sorry for yourself?" that instantly made me furious and start crying (and I'm not a cryer or emotional like that). I just asked him "are you f'n kidding me?!" Awhile later he tried to come be playful with the dog by me (that's his 'i dont' want to fight anymore' thing) and I wasn't having it. To me this is beyond serious. I have to live life everyday like everything is just fine, but it's not and it's a battle. I feel like I'm fighting against the doctors because they don't care, yet evidence is in front of their face. I feel like a bad worker because I am not motivated anymore, I miss a lot of days because of horrible heartburn.

Sorry to vent. I just want to know if anyone else is having these sorts of issues? It's starting to make me so depressed. Thanks for reading this.

kyheart
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2011
Total Posts : 513
   Posted 11/5/2012 9:46 PM (GMT -6)   
Nodoubt

Please feel free to come here and vent.. I had the surgery (Nissen Fundoplication) will be 2 years ago this coming April 1. My family tried to be supportive but not having gone through it they could not comprehend the terrible trial I was going through before I had the surgery. The could not understand the relief I felt after the surgery even though I was restricted on what I could eat for a while. You are not alone and you can come here and talk to everyone. You may not always here from the same friend but you will hear from them and you can count on having support.
You didn't say if you have been to a gastroenterologist.. if not you need to go. there are several tests they can do to determine what road to follow with your problem. If you have not gone, please do soon. You problems won't go away, you need some medical intervention... to get the true story for your self..

Still looking for the Rainbow
Sandi smurf tongue turn turn tongue smurf

Post Edited (kyheart) : 11/5/2012 8:50:46 PM (GMT-7)


eLaReF
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2012
Total Posts : 74
   Posted 11/6/2012 2:31 AM (GMT -6)   

Hi

Like other diseases I think that people don't tend to understand if they can't see any obvious indications of a problem - other than perhaps a decline as a result of not eating and being in pain.

Did you get any pictures of your Endoscopy?  If not, Google some pictures of an acid burned oesophagus and keep this with you - you can then show people what your insides are like if they ask.

It totally freaked me out when I saw the mess of mine on the endoscope camera before my op, so I can imagine the image will be as equally disturbing for others - and give them a sense of how you are suffering.

Hang in there.


NoDoubtLove
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2012
Total Posts : 359
   Posted 11/6/2012 8:38 AM (GMT -6)   
Thank you both for the kind words. I do feel as though, since people think "heartburn" they assume it's that little bit of heartburn where you take tums and move on with life and that's the end of that. You're right, they can't physically see anything (besides weight loss) so they don't really connect or associate with it.

I do have 2 GI's and a 3rd opinion coming up soon, also a LINX consult in 2 weeks. I can't find my old endoscopy picture, that one showed the erosion. This current one I have isn't nearly as scary since I was on PPIs for about a month beforehand (that's about ALL the PPIs have done to help). You can clearly see the wide open LES and some white places they said was the past erosion.

It's just exhausting. I don't want to seem like I'm having a pity party or any of that. I just wish my husband at least could be a bit more understanding. I like the fact he's not too emotional and all that, but there are times when you break down walls and show you care. I don't think he processes that or maybe he doesn't know how to show it? But being mean to me isn't helping the situation. Stress just seems to fuel the heartburn fire!

I just can't wait until this situation is "fixed" (as much as it can be) and I can start moving on with life and not have it effect me EVERY SINGLE DAY :(

Thank you guys again for letting me vent. It does help!

ericapeace2000
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Mar 2012
Total Posts : 1110
   Posted 11/6/2012 9:21 AM (GMT -6)   
It was hard for my friends and family to understand what I was going through, but as time went on, they started to adjust to the changes that I had to make in my life and they have been supportive. I just think it is a lack of education, as the media portrays acid reflux as something "normal" and can be fixed with OTC meds. I think they were in some form of denial but eventually they came out of it as they continued to see me stick with the changes. I still have to remind them, but for the most part, they now try and be considerate of my illness. They will try to buy food that they know I can eat if there is a gathering and they understand that I need to leave early from events sometimes, or that going out to dinner can be too difficult for me. My parents in particular understand the most. My mom has dealt with heartburn on and off, although she is much less severe than I am. My husband had a rough time adjusting to some things in the begining because we used to go out to dinner or have drinks and I can't do that very often anymore. He has seen me struggle with this so he knows that it is rough and he has been supportive as he has seen me improve with the lifestyle changes. I think it is hard for the important people in our lives to adjust to the changes we have to make for our illness. It affects them too.
GERD Moderator; Diagnosed GERD, no other medical conditions (this one is enough)

NoDoubtLove
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2012
Total Posts : 359
   Posted 11/6/2012 9:29 AM (GMT -6)   
ericapeace2000 said...
I just think it is a lack of education, as the media portrays acid reflux as something "normal" and can be fixed with OTC meds. .

This is so true!

I'm glad everyone has become more supportive. I guess it just takes time for everyone. I wish my husband could try to have some empathy about the situation though. When he's sick it's the end of the world, but since it has been going on with me for months it's not a big deal I guess? Who knows... just getting down about all of it.

ericapeace2000
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Mar 2012
Total Posts : 1110
   Posted 11/6/2012 9:59 AM (GMT -6)   
Give it some time. It is an adjustment, the people in your life have to accept the situation and that can be hard for some. Hang in there, we all get it and are here to support you.
GERD Moderator; Diagnosed GERD, no other medical conditions (this one is enough)

ericapeace2000
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Mar 2012
Total Posts : 1110
   Posted 11/6/2012 10:00 AM (GMT -6)   
I am going to bump up a thread for you from a while ago that you may find helpful
GERD Moderator; Diagnosed GERD, no other medical conditions (this one is enough)

NoDoubtLove
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2012
Total Posts : 359
   Posted 11/6/2012 10:03 AM (GMT -6)   
Thank you erica :)

I'll go check out that other thread now!

new_2012
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2012
Total Posts : 88
   Posted 11/6/2012 11:50 AM (GMT -6)   
NoDoubtLove,

Even I stopped talking about my gerd symptoms. If I am having a bad day, I cry alone. The constant fights with my husband actually makes my gerd symptoms worse. Everyone behaves as if nothing is wrong. You have to be strong and become independent. You always have this forum where you can vent. Dont expect a lot from your friends/family. Unless they develop GERD, they will never realize the multitude of issues you have to deal with.

Hope you feel better soon !

NoDoubtLove
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2012
Total Posts : 359
   Posted 11/6/2012 12:54 PM (GMT -6)   
new_2012 said...
NoDoubtLove,

Even I stopped talking about my gerd symptoms. If I am having a bad day, I cry alone. The constant fights with my husband actually makes my gerd symptoms worse. Everyone behaves as if nothing is wrong. You have to be strong and become independent. You always have this forum where you can vent. Dont expect a lot from your friends/family. Unless they develop GERD, they will never realize the multitude of issues you have to deal with.

Hope you feel better soon !
Maybe I'm just delusional thinking that my husband should care more. When ANYTHING is wrong with him, I'm there for him. He has been there for me and all but he's making it a point for me to know he's annoyed with me :(

edtorres1
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2012
Total Posts : 37
   Posted 11/6/2012 1:01 PM (GMT -6)   
NoDoubtLove,

Perhaps you should have your husband read the threads.

Yolee
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2012
Total Posts : 127
   Posted 11/6/2012 3:58 PM (GMT -6)   
I'm glad you brought this up, I feel the exact same way! My husband is very supportive but the rest of my family especially my mom just don't get it. I feel alone a lot because I hate complaining to my husband all the time he is supportive but he still don't really get it... This forum does help but sometimes I just feel like I'm bugging people on here and they don't want to hear it cause I'm a cry baby, even though I know they are all going thru the same thing some even worse than me. Hang in there if you ever just want a friend please email me my email is listed and I wouldn't mind chit chatting at all. I have lost my job over this sickness and get really bored a lot sitting at home trying to figure out what to eat lol
Thanks
Take care always!
Yolee

NoDoubtLove
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2012
Total Posts : 359
   Posted 11/6/2012 7:12 PM (GMT -6)   
Yolee said...
I'm glad you brought this up, I feel the exact same way! My husband is very supportive but the rest of my family especially my mom just don't get it. I feel alone a lot because I hate complaining to my husband all the time he is supportive but he still don't really get it... This forum does help but sometimes I just feel like I'm bugging people on here and they don't want to hear it cause I'm a cry baby, even though I know they are all going thru the same thing some even worse than me. Hang in there if you ever just want a friend please email me my email is listed and I wouldn't mind chit chatting at all. I have lost my job over this sickness and get really bored a lot sitting at home trying to figure out what to eat lol
I'm really sorry to hear that you've lost your job over it :( This issue does just chisel away at a person... I wish sometimes I could touch someone for 2 seconds and let them feel what I feel. I know that's awful to say but it's so exhausting dealing with everything :(

Luckily I came home today and my husband apologized (he NEVER says sorry) and felt really bad for being to mean to me. That makes me feel better but I'm still really really hurt. I really hope he is truly sorry and not just saying that.

I appreciate everyone one here and am beyond glad I found this forum. It's amazing how talking to other people who are going through the same thing can help. I hate that others have to deal with this though :(

Yolee
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2012
Total Posts : 127
   Posted 11/6/2012 8:21 PM (GMT -6)   
Awww that was nice of him! I'm sure he means it and feels bad...
Exhausting is the perfect word for it! I'm ok with losing my job it just means I can concentrate more in my health and try to feel better cause we all know Dr's don't help. Then I can worry about working again really just to have something to do lol
Take care of yourself and keep us posted on your progress!
Thanks
Take care always!
Yolee

NoDoubtLove
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2012
Total Posts : 359
   Posted 11/6/2012 9:43 PM (GMT -6)   
I agree with the Dr's don't help... if you read my other post you'll see that!

http://www.healingwell.com/community/default.aspx?f=45&m=2552533

I just told my husband it really hurt me when he acted that way, that I already feel alone in this and that pushed me over the edge. He hugged me and told me I'm not alone. That makes me a lot happier :) The wound is still wide open though, so I'll have to see how it goes over the next few days and tests.

Oh I will and you too!

ericapeace2000
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Mar 2012
Total Posts : 1110
   Posted 11/7/2012 1:25 PM (GMT -6)   
I think your husband will come around. Mine did. At first he was annoyed that I was miserable but after he saw the efforts I was making to change my diet and add in suppliments, he understood. He has been very understanding and tries to make accomidations for me. But remember that it is an adjustment for your husband as well and he probably feels helpless.
GERD Moderator; Diagnosed GERD, no other medical conditions (this one is enough)

NoDoubtLove
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2012
Total Posts : 359
   Posted 11/8/2012 8:33 AM (GMT -6)   
ericapeace2000 said...
But remember that it is an adjustment for your husband as well and he probably feels helpless.
I hadn't really thought of that. :/ Thanks!

ericapeace2000
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Mar 2012
Total Posts : 1110
   Posted 11/8/2012 2:31 PM (GMT -6)   
Your Welcome. Remember, it is a lifestyle change and your husband is a huge part of your life. So it is only natural that he be having a hard time adjusting.
GERD Moderator; Diagnosed GERD, no other medical conditions (this one is enough)

BEACH-GIRL
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2012
Total Posts : 467
   Posted 11/10/2012 5:48 PM (GMT -6)   
I feel the same way as you all do. I get a lot of support from my mom, but not much from other family members. They just DO NOT get it.

I cry alone a lot. My mom is there for me but my husband does not understand. People look at you and since you look fine, they think you are not really sick. They feel GERD is something you can fix with "Tums".

It is hard to go out and eat and I get tired really easily. I just have to take things day by day.

You guys are not alone.
BG

NoDoubtLove
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2012
Total Posts : 359
   Posted 11/10/2012 6:27 PM (GMT -6)   
Yeah if anyone offers me Tums again (I know they are just helping) I'm going to scream!

ericapeace2000
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Mar 2012
Total Posts : 1110
   Posted 11/10/2012 11:36 PM (GMT -6)   
Sometimes I explain a little about the mechanics and anatomy of GERD and that will sometimes help. It comes down to a lack of education, so I educate.
GERD Moderator; Diagnosed GERD, no other medical conditions (this one is enough)
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