Your name makes me thing you're having a Nissen for the same reason I had mine. You might want to check out my early recovery journal. I had the surgery nearly 4 years ago. Like you, I feared the surgery because of all the scary posts online. Fortunately, I came across this forum, where people were positive yet realistic. Here's the link to my journal.
I was going to suggest that you check with your surgeon about lifting. It was my understanding that because of the hernia repair you must not lift for a while. Here is a quote from a document about post-Nissen care:
Activity/Work: When you return home, take it easy. Avoid all strenuous activities and do not lift more than 5 to 10 pounds for at least 3 to 4 weeks after surgery.
After discharge from the hospital, avoid lifting more than 10 pounds for 2-4 weeks and excessive bending or twisting for 1-2 weeks following surgery.
(however it says with laproscopic surgery you may be able to lift sooner.)
Still, your own surgeon is the one who knows exactly what you've had done, and when and how you should lift post-op. Use your judgement. Still, if you can get help for a few weeks, it would be very helpful. I know it is hard with little ones...they want YOU! Just don't try to be a hero. Ask for help.
Good luck with the surgery. I put it off far too long. My asthma was out of control, and I was on far too high a dose of inhaled steroids for far too long. Oh well...water over the dam.
You're in a great place! Stick around, ask questions, and get lots of support. We're here for you!