and welcome to HealingWell.
Glad you've found our online community. It’s a great place to connect
with others traveling the same road...you'll find much support, encouragement
and advice from others who understand.
I understand your fears of seeing a Dr. and going through many tests. Try not to let your mind wander to the what-if thinking and stay in the moment. Take this one step at a time as often what we fear the most never happens.
I am sorry your Dad went through so much and my heart goes out to you as my Dad did the same yet nothing could have saved him. He had cancer.
You, my new friend, are not rubbish. Every single member here was one time a new member on a forum.
Any questions just ask and one of us will explain how things in the forum work.
Again, a warm welcome.