in 2011 I had a partial toupet that slipped and tore in 3 mo and reherniated so in 2012 I had wrap completely undone and more hiatal and umbilical hernias fixed as my pain/nausea was intolerable; now in 2011 my first large hiatal hernia caused intolerable nausea, worst heartburn ever, not eating or sleeping or functioning; u know the drill which led me to first surgeon who shook my hand and said we have a surgery for that and claimed I'd be better; my original symptoms began in my 20s of simple gerd and my 3rd surgeon believes this disease is hereditary and progressive and that my son will get it and my dad choked nightly at the dinner table and always looked at me like I'm getting up now and he'd go to bathroom to do god knows what and he never chose surgery and my son is freaked out for when his time comes with this disease. I did get from the undo a good 8-9 mo. of health and happiness and some eating.
these surgeries r sooo expensive I'm bankrupt but haven't filed yet due to a lawyer telling me to never file until your disease quiets which it hasn't in 3 yrs nor do I expect it ever too; I can't eat anything; I live on ensure shakes and laxatives; for me the dry heaves r constant and I have no life quality and can't do anything so I just stay home; my son helps out and has always claimed i'll be better someday and he has always remained calm when I'm drying heaving and very upset so I'm not sure what i'll do when he must become a man and leave as he's been my physical and emotional help and rock; the last room for my last surgery was 5000 for the room alone for only one eve and 2 days, one of which I spent dry heaving all day.
this morn, I've attempted to shower and walk on my treadmill and clean house but the dry heave sensation and moving stomach organ is too much and I always taste vomit acid blood; yes, I think I will be losing my stomach. before my first wrap, I had my first large hiatal hernia with intolerable nausea, pain, inability to eat or function and the pain these days is manageable but the rest of the symptoms r not; I won't lie, I pray daily for god to cross me cause that is the only option for relief and I can't do god's work anymore, only watch as my son and others live; I get jealous and mad and hysterical cause I had a life that died 3 yrs. ago to this vortex of a gi nightmare that there's no end or new normal or resolution too; I couldn't live with the large hernias, I can't get the fundos to work and quiet down and I doubt I will be able to live on tubes which still mean a lifetime of surgeries of coiled tubes, infections, abscesses, feeding the bed, being hooked up most of 24 hrs in a day; I c myself sitting alone in probably subsidized poor housing for the disabled in a room watching tv all day; I must let my son go so as not to be a burden to him; we had this awesome life of travelling and doing every fun family activity that there is and we were 2 people having more fun than humans should have; I've been all over this country with many opinions but most have no idea how to stop this so I doubt the 3rd surgeon I picked will either; in February before my last surgery, I reached out to churches for a ride home and got either no response or a no; I went to Cleveland clinic when my son was 14 and reached out to their social work dept. and all I got from them was them caring that my then 14 yr. old had a babysitter while on their campus, caring nothing about
me as a sick single mom so we left; as horrific as it is, I have to share my journey til god calls me home to get it off my chest and to maybe help someone learn and not end up like me; I give my current gi credit for telling me he never had a case like mine and his np was the only one in my city who mentioned the slipped wrap of 2011 and when he brought it up, he got yelled at by his boss, my gi doc and my first surgeon who's an uncompassionate individual on a good day. thx. for reading and going on this journey.
Post Edited (nanc) : 5/13/2014 8:36:45 AM (GMT-6)