After waiting for six agonizing weeks my scope is tomorrow July 2nd. Today I feel like a basket case, I'm both relieved that it's time to do the scope and at the same time I'm afraid of them finding esophageal cancer. I've tried over the past weeks to keep myself calm and at times I've been able to but other times I've sat and planned how I'm going to tell my children that my time is up. If my symptoms had remained constant with no change over these past weeks, I might not suspect anything was really wrong, however, in the last week I'm not able to swallow any solid food any longer and the food that I do swallow hangs up on the way down and when it hits my stomach it causes mild pain, my voice is hoarse. The pain is now in my back on the left side.
So things are progressing, and it can't be just gerd any longer the way this feels. It's been eight years since I was first diagnosed with gerd, two years ago I had mild to moderate inflammation, so there's been plenty of time for something far worse since then I'm thinking. Nothing works anymore, even with Nexium 40 mg. in the morning and 40 mg. at night, I now have such bad acid at night that I take a teaspoon of Gaviscon to be able to get through the night. I've had silent reflux and have never felt the acid before, so this is also something different.
My ears are ringing and sometimes my vision seems a bit blurred, all this can't be good, I'm quietly panicked inside right now I don't know how I'm going to tell my family and I'm not ready to die, who is though? This is awful