asthma controlling life.

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New Member

Date Joined Nov 2013
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 11/18/2013 11:58 PM (GMT -6)   
Here's my story... if anyone cares to read.

I was diagnosed with severe asthma when I was two. Throughout the years I've had some pretty bad asthma attacks, but recently since I've graduated high school and have been cut off my medical... asthma has controlled my life.
Whenever I got sick, missing so many days of school, I would run to the hospital and get my prednisone or my antibiotics, but now things are different for me. I use to end up in the hospital twice a month. I can't keep going to the hospital when I don't have the money to pay for anything. I even stopped going to my clinic because I thought there was nothing they could do. I'm twenty years old now.
I found out that I can apply for ssi from social security to try and get my medical back on and try and get my right treatment. I've always struggled with medicine not working and over the years as I've grown older... I just felt more hopeless. My doctor couldn't find out what was wrong with me and he even said that he didn't know what else to do for me. My asthma was that bad.
Well, I've applied for ssi and they denied my case, probably because I stopped going to the doctors and I've stayed away from the hospital, so I had no up to date medical record. Anyway, they gave me a breathing test and the lady said my test was unusual in people with asthma. I wasn't scoring on a level that asthma people should score. Had me thinking I had copd or something else. After that visit I had to go into the er because I suffered exacerbation and was put on prednisone. I only grew sadder. After being denied twice, I've finally did my hearing and awaiting my court date. During this time, for the past year and some months... a lot has happened. I've always suffered from depression, because I was convinced my life was this way, always sick and suffering, but it's worse.
I see things, like bugs and I suffer from anxiety. I can't sleep and I avoid everything that pertains to asthma triggers. My mental state and phobia of death has gotten so worse, that I don't go outside anymore.
I fear if I walk out that door... I'll never come back. My normal life is done and I'm at my breaking point. I take advair and I have my Ventolin pump but even then... life isn't so kind to me. My mom convinced my to go back to the doctors and they made me apply for glaxosmithkline, so they give me advair and Ventolin, but my meds never worked so great before anyway. She even told me to go see a psychiatrist. I panic a lot and I can't function. I was always too afraid to get a job cause I didn't want to die and I'm losing hope on my life. My family drills me about not working, but they don't understand the amount of fear I hold inside.
I have an appointment with mental health in a few days to see if they can help. I spoke with an individual counselor who gave me an assumption of what my sicknesses may be. She said from what I've told her, it sounds like I have psychosis, severe depression and severe anxiety. She couldn't even talk to me though cause I haven't seen a psychiatrist, so I had to make an appointment and it's taking me months to get in. By this time, my conditions have only worsened.

Overall, I don't do anything that may give me an asthma attack. Even if it means laughing and enjoying my day. I think about the end and if the day I have right now is my last. Will my asthma win? I'm scared for my hearing and if I'm denied at that level then I don't want to continue anymore. I don't have a life and I don't have support. I just stay to myself and I don't go out.

Is there anyone willing to talk to me?

Post Edited By Moderator (getting by) : 11/19/2013 5:27:44 AM (GMT-7)

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42609
   Posted 11/19/2013 7:31 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Nini,

I am not from this forum but I saw the title of your post and was concerned. I did edit a little, we can't talk about suicide on this forum. And I edited the title of your post.

Sweetie, I think anxiety has got ahold of you. Have you thought about talking to a therapist to see if you can learn ways to control it? It is basically fear.

It is very scary when we can't breathe. And I am sure you have been through that. I have and I don't have asthma. Just plain anxiety...

I am sure others will post for you soon. It is early yet. I hope you don't mind me popping in. I just couldn't pass your post. I really hope that you feel better soon. Take care and keep posting, just talking about things helps. I am glad you got some inhalers. I hope that they continue to give them to you. I think you are going to get better. Asthma isn't going to win... You are...

Hang in there, One day at a time.

Hugs, Karen....
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia

fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

Elite Member

Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 11/19/2013 2:56 PM (GMT -6)   
Hello Nini,
This is Kitt and I was dx with anxiety and depression many years ago. I can sense the despondency you must be feeling in your post. 
From reading your thread I understand you are no longer on your parents? health insurance.  The new rule is instead of being kicked off your parents' insurance plan when you turn 18 or when you graduate from college, now you can stay on your parents' insurance plan until you turn 26.

Insurance companies can no longer deny you coverage because of a pre-existing condition, like asthma or diabetes.

And now, insurance plans are beginning to offer free preventive services like checkups and immunizations. Check with your clinic and see if they have information for you on accessing a social worker or someone in their system who could help you get the medical coverage you need.

While your waiting for SSI, keep busy looking for an alternative to provide you with medical coverage.

Having health problems, no insurance and feeling anxious and depression is a pretty tough place to be so consider joining our Anxiety Forum as there are a lot of members in that forum who have problems that feel insurmountable to them but by coming here and talking with us they realize they are not alone.  We know what your going through so join us and let us offer you support here in HealingWell.


To find the Anxiety/Panic Forum just click on this link:





Moderator: Anxiety, Osteoarthritis,
GERD/Heartburn and Heart/Cardiovascular Disease.

"She Stood in the Storm & When the Wind Did Not Blow Her Away, She Adjusted Her Sails."

New Member

Date Joined Nov 2013
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 11/19/2013 5:48 PM (GMT -6)   
Sorry for the title... Karen. I didn't mean any harm. I do apologize severely for my actions, however. I actually go see the therapist this month, but I don't even want to go because I have to catch the bus there and I'll be panicking all the way there. I really don't want to step foot outside my home because of fear, but I have to go get some help. I'm just really scared, but I have to go. I signed up with gateway like five or six months ago and finally their getting me in to see someone, but by then... I've grown worse in my mental status. It's crippling but it's all due to my asthma being so unruly and scary. Even on medicine, I have so many problems and I just avoid them by literally not doing anything. That keeps my triggers literally low.
It's OK. Glad you posted, actually. Thank you and I hope so too. I'm too young and I want to do stuff with my life. I don't want to sit like this. Thank you, so much.

Hey, Kitt. I never knew that was the rule. Here in ga, I was on peach care for kids, but since I turned nineteen I was cut from that and literally was on my own. I was told to apply for social security. They said that was the only thing they could offer. I actually have signed up with my clinic and because I have no income, glaxosmithkline offers my medicine for free. But I've always struggled with asthma even on medicine. They've even considered me having to move out of ga, because the weather here could be the culprit. But I can't just get up and leave. Not in this condition and without any money. I don't think moving will help anyway, because I've struggled all my life with this. I've overdosed on albueterol because it wasn't working and it's just a mess for me, but now my sickness is going mental and that's how I'm living. I can't sleep much and I'm always tired.

Thank you, and I will check it out. I didn't know which one to pick. I saw the depression forum, asthma forum and anxiety forum, but I picked this one because basically... my asthma is my fuel for all the other problems. It's been my burden for years and now that I'm older... and not a kid anymore... I have to see the world as independence. I struggled to keep in high school, and they were even considering dropping me because of the amount of days I've missed. I had to go to school sick to keep from missing days. But now I'm twenty about to turn twenty one the beginning of next year and I don't have a life. I'll check out the forum and thank you so much once more.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 9664
   Posted 11/19/2013 10:00 PM (GMT -6)   
Advair is not the only medication out there and you really need to ask your doctors about trial medications to see what else you can use that will help. I use asmanex twisthaler and xopenex for my rescue and if you google both these medications they might have a low income affordable rate for you to at least be able to try them, but you need to go and ask a doctor about stronger medications for your asthma. You need to try to find an affordable healthcare plan and ask your parents for help with payments until you can get on a better asthma medication.
I'm one here that advair did not work good and I didn't tolerate albuterol either, and some doctors do have samples of medications for you to try. My doctor gave me asmanex and it helped me. So another medication might work better for you. don't give up and I agree you can beat this. You are brave enough to come on here for help then you can seek out better help for you. and you can win.
Many well wishes...
* So many dx's I could write a book* "It would be nice if we could use the edit button in real life"...

New Member

Date Joined Nov 2013
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 11/22/2013 2:33 AM (GMT -6)   
I'll check with that. Thank you! I need a stronger medicine. I told my doctor I was still having attacks, but she just shrugged it off. Like she doesn't believe me. I went before and my doc was like... oh, your asthma isn't really that bad. So they gave me 250/50 advair, after I specifically told them... I was on 500/50. Advair never worked for me either. I was on symbicort when I had medical insurance, so everything was OK. It did a little better than advair and I would rather get that, but symbicort is not cheap...

If it wasn't for my Ventolin, I wouldn't be here. But I use so much so fast... it's like... it's my only medicine. Whenever I stop taking advair my asthma gets ten times worse within the first like four hours that I've missed my dose. It really sucks...

Veteran Member

Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 9664
   Posted 11/22/2013 10:34 AM (GMT -6)   
Try going to Symbicorts website through a google search to see if they have a low cost plan for those that need the medication. Ask at your pharmacy for low costs medication plans...just something to look into...
* So many dx's I could write a book* "It would be nice if we could use the edit button in real life"...

Veteran Member

Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 2386
   Posted 11/22/2013 9:23 PM (GMT -6)   
Teaching hospitals will usually write off all expenses. There are so many preventive medication out there. I take alvesco for my asthma daily. The severe attacks, as you know can be really scary. Just because you were denied disability doesn't mean you won't be again. My mother put me on social security before I was eighteen, and she said I was denied six times before they said yes! What does help is getting dr note that says you can't work and should be on disability and one of those social security lawyers. Life is so precious to let go sweety. I have depression, and over the years I was able to get off of lexapro and ambien because I learned how to handle it. I put all my thoughts down in freelance writing, poetry that doesn't rhyme. I go on walks. I have a book made by my mother - just a binder with a package of paper labeled a - z on every page (a, b,c) so on. Each letter page has good characteristics about me ie: A = Amazing, Artistic B = Beautiful so on, you get the drift. I think of those whom love me, and think about what they would think. I took care of my nephew, I could see him saying "doesn't she love me enough?" so on. Counceling helped me too. Please keep talking to us. Some doctors can give samples of medications too.
~Moderator - Allergies & Asthma , Alzheimer's~
"The Walking Medical Mystery"/~Medical Caregiver and Doctors Worse Nightmare~/ DX: Lactose Intolerance, Gluten Sensitive, ADD, Fibromyalgia, Carpel Tunnel, Arthritis, Clasterphobia, Anxiety, Diabetes Type II, Grave's Disease, Tachycardia, GERD, PCOS, Migraines, UARS, Anterior Scleritis, Orbital Tumor, Bursitus

jesse leal
New Member

Date Joined Dec 2013
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 12/1/2013 4:06 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Nini do not give up,there is a lots of of other meds out there I m trying to find the right one for me too adviar did not work on me ,Dulera not work on me as well. I m on pulmicort .5 mg and duoneb and but still having problems. Take care and do whatever you can to get your meds. send letters to companies that make the meds. ask for free samples etc. just do not give up.
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