Posted 1/21/2008 9:10 PM (GMT -6)
I appologies for not being on for a VERY long time. I was extremely busy with my studies and working very hard at work trying to earn money for a car. Now on my 3rd quarter in college I feel as though I have grown up and matured a lot more. However the holidays rolled around and I had probably the worst Christmas I ever experienced in my life. First off my grandparents were no longer with us. It was odd not having them around anymore and not being able to shop for them. I remember I would always buy my grandfather a John Deer hat and he would immediatly place it upon his head and smile. Always bought my grandma satin PJs and she always wore them to bed. My birthday was in late September (the 23d) and it was odd. I waited and waited and waited for my birthday card to arrive from them. Every year they would mail me out a really cute and sweet birthday card along with a check. I didn't care about the check, I just wanted the card from them tellimg me how much they loved and missed me. Receiving that card would of told me that everything I went through in 2007 was a nightmare. A long, hard nightmare. But the card never arrived. To this day I still wait for it.
For Christmas the only thing I wanted was to have them back. I wanted to hear their voices. I wanted to receive their hugs and kisses. I needed them. I miss the way pappy would make my sandwitches. I miss taking long walks through the field and down by the creek with him talking about all kinds of things. I miss watching the price is right every time I spent the night or went over for lunch. I miss watching him watch wrestling, how he would really get into it and act as if he was fighting alongside the wrestlers. I miss mimi's famous spagetti sauce. I miss sitting at the kitchen table talking with her as she permed her hair. I miss picking her up form work with pappy. I miss the smell of their clothes that reminded me of every memory I have of them.
As life continues to go I feel as though I'm forgetting them more and more. I don't want to ever forget them. I can't!
However as much as it hurt me last year to go through what I did, if I had to go through it all again to earn the amazing friendship I gained with my cousin Tara, I would. the bond between us is unbreakable. Together we survived 2007 and together will will survive everything life has to throw at us. She is my cousin, my best friend, my sister. She is literally my other half.
As the holidays came and passed the the begining of 2008 arrived, I believe I am more at peace with 2007 and have begun to realize more that they wont return to this life but I will reunite with them once I have lived my life and leave this place.
Enough about my life, what have you all been up to? What have I missed? Lynn how are you and your father doing?