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New Member

Date Joined Jan 2003
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 1/30/2003 6:19 PM (GMT -6)   
My Mom has had Ad for 5 yeras now. She hurt her back in Sep 2002, "Compression fracture". She lives in her own her but since she her hurt back we called in renifrocements and started in home care givers to help. In December we started care 24 hrs. a day. Dr said we needed to put her in a nursing home or have more care.
I have been her main care giver, along with the support and help of my husband and 2 sons for the past 5 yrs. Now her bones are like chalk and her mind has really gone downhill, However her back is better and is eating a lot better. My Mom is 71 yrs. old and was finally clinically diagniosed wtih vascular dementa in December. She has classic Sun Down sydrome, she seems to be very busy in the evenings and calls when I'm not there. We recently started Celexa for her depression, and is also on Zyprexa for her delusions, hostily and in general agitation.
Latest Battle, should not drive a car! We are slowing working through the driving issue. Everyday is a challage
Just wanted to say Hi
I'm glad I found this place, Was losing my mind, Its the size of a peanut and soon it will be the size of a pea!! God bless," tc all"

New Member

Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 2/9/2003 12:42 AM (GMT -6)   
My father was diagnosed in Feb 2000. We lost my mom in June 2000. We convinced him to live in an assisted living where he stayed till July of 2002, except from Jan 2002 till July we had to have 24/7 sitters with him to keep him in this place. Moved him to a different assisted living that has a dementia wing in July 02. It's been a good move, but he's going down.
My father was a very independent person, a brilliant businessman and a treasure to his family. It has been damn hard seeing him lose all this identity, but I imagine it has been much harder for him than I. He was very angry when I took away his driving privileges, very agtitated on a continual basis, paranoid too. Being around him from the time my mom died till this past July was a bittersweet mix of love and hate, resentment and depression.
It's hard on everyone, I'll tell you that.
Don't let it get you too down though, a lot of people are going through this in varying degrees. it's like a rite of passage for the children of the AD parent.
My father is still with us, sometimes, and I cherish every moment or word or touch I have from him like it's my last.
I wish he could be his old self, I really miss that.
One thing though, have some time for yourself and don't let anyone shame you for having it.

New Member

Date Joined Jan 2003
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 2/18/2003 2:54 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Zubz.
Thanks for you kind words. Sounds like you have had some very emotional years. I'm sorry to hear about the lose of your mother. And now the struggle with your Father. This is such a difficult and ugly disease to understand. The gulit issue is still rumbles in my heart, but I know I'm at my mothers home as much as time will allow. I feel very fortunate to have a wonderful group of care givers, in fact I went to high school with one of them, Small World? I'll take your advise about taking a break when ever and where every I can, Promise me you do the same
Peace and Hope
You just helped my peanut size brain, grow a little larger
Bless You
Take Care, .....Peanut...

New Member

Date Joined Mar 2003
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 3/17/2003 1:27 AM (GMT -6)   
Hello there, peanuts and zubz: I can empathize with what your are going through with your parents. My mother, although not suffering from alzheimer's developed similar symptoms. Hers were also associated with vascular and oxygen deprivation issues. My wife and me were there for her, although the weight of the care and supervision fell on my sister's shoulders, God bless her. Today Sunday March 16th, is the fifth anniversary of my mother's passing away. But I am writing because of my dear wife.

I take my handle (moonstruck) from the fact that on the same occassion when my wife failed her mental test with her neurologist, confirming a dementia diagnosis by the neuropsychologist (soon to be two years ago), the last question asked by the doctor was: Will you write here a sentence for me? I was looking at her with a mixture of anguish and tenderness watching her fail the questions asked from her, seeing in a structured setting the evidence of her diminished mental capacity, once so vibrant and brilliant! And she wrote her sentence and the doctor said: Very good! (He did not share the sentence with me nor did I ask right then and there, maintaining a respectfull distance).

When we went over to pay the medical deductible, her file was open to the page with her answer, and I gently moved it so that I could read what she had written, and there it was: "The moon will come out tonight at 7:00 PM!" I loved her more than ever at that very moment. We had used the moon so many times in a romantic moment or had used it to bring us together at times when we had been temporarily separated.

I have been trying to salvage a much as possible for these last two years of what has been a true love story, before and during the 29 years we have been married - we will celebrate our 29th anniversary on june 27th - and we have faced during the Holidays, begining last December 16th the most serious crisis we have lived through, when she lost control and her hostility was unmanageable and we had to hospitalize her. She had been completely mobile and independent still and the hospitalization, when it ended in January 28th had left her in a wheelchair. She is still fighting to get back her ability to sit in bed by herself, to stand and walk for herself. Her follow up visit with the neurologist and with the expert in physical therapy were positive, she may be able to walk again, but it is going to be an uphill  battle.

I decided sometime ago to write alzheimer's without a capital A; I refuse to do her work and she will take my wife away from me inch by inch, millimiter by millimeter...I have a very limited system of support and our daughters have broken my heart at the insensible way they have decided to take to face this tragic illness...I feel abandoned with my ailing wife...and angry. I have been caring for my wife this weekend, alone with her, and although her daughters live a mere 5 minutes away they do not visit  nor do they even call to ask how she's doing or to ask if I need to go out (which I did and could not go out neither yesterday or today Sunday). It was  upon feeling this anger that I began searching for a support group forum and walked into this site.

Thanks for hearing me out.

New Member

Date Joined Jan 2003
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 3/24/2003 9:54 PM (GMT -6)   
Oh Moonstruck
I’m so sorry to hear about your mother and now your wife.
However you have been giving a beautiful gift.
The precious gift love that has grown stronger over the years.
 This disease tears all of apart. I’m grateful you searched for support,
 for without friendship and support we would be lost.
 I wish you peace and hope for the days to come
Take Care Moonstruck
you are a rare gem

Regular Member

Date Joined Sep 2003
Total Posts : 34
   Posted 9/23/2003 5:56 PM (GMT -6)   
So Sorry Moonstruck! I'm living with Alzheimer's,not dying from it.At least for now.I ffel bad for you,enjoy her for as long as you can.Take her out often,let her get sun,& see the world even though she may not remember.That's what I old my hubby to do for me when I no longer know what's going on.I don't want to stagnate by being inside all the time.
I have a very positive attitude maybe this has helped me.Maybe I'm still doing so well as God has a plan for me to help others to understand,who knows?

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