I am sooo drained and not getting any help from anyone Please advise me??????

My Aunt was diagnosed with the onset of Alzheimers Disease in January 2008 and my Moms and I have attempted to care for her since then. My aunt stayed with my mom after being hospitalized in march 2008 for hallucinating reallyy bad because she was not taking her meds back then she lived by herself she also started getting aggressive with my mom because she didn't want to take her meds she also had a medical bracelet which she took the info paper and threw out on 3 seperate occasions also kept telling my mom she wanted to go home so she did.  and she has progressed rather quickly she also has high blood pressure, high cholesterol and diabetes not insulant dependent we have tried evrything as far as her taking her meds she still hides them and only takes them when we are in front of her face her son moved down form Puerto Rico to care for her but she dislikes him soooo bad that she has gotten very agressive with him to the point of blows and sometimes he wakes up because she is over his bed with her eyes open very wide he is afraid she will hurt him while he sleeps. She can no longer pay her own bills as we found out her bills were not paid for months due to her forgetting she has no short term memory at all. all 3 of her son live out of state 3 men the eldest son lives in Florida the middle child retired from the marines and is relocating to Texas soon and the baby lived in Puerto Rico but decided to try to take care of her but he can't handle all the different situations that occur we are in the process of gettiing her evaluated an assessment to become her conservator because she still has her apartment but leaves stoves on constantly her cooking doesn't taste the same she forgets certain ingredients, still not taking her meds, she wears the same clothing for 5 days if you let her and she not even bathing but says she has when you go to the bathroom it's dry and so is the soap, even though we know she isn't paying her bills she says she has no problems with that or her memory and that she can live by herself and she is very tired of everyone treating her like a child. All we want is what is in her best interest we are afraid she will hurt herself or some one else because when she gets agressive she's very scarrie looking. my aunt hords everything and does not want to throw anything away she constantly through out the day looks for her purse as if some one has taken it and she also started acting as if we are all stealing her stuff. She also constantly is in the bathroom I guess her bowels are not working that well either and she keeps locking all the locks on the doors we are afaraid she will lock herself in one day and not know how to get out and we will just have to break the door down.. basically none of us can care for her at our homes as we have families and have to work and can't afford to pay a nurse 24 hours a day and she can not be left alone it kills me to see her deteriorate so quickly as she has always been self sufficient and has always done for herself and others.   Taking care of her is mentally, physically, emotionally and financially draining. and I have no help from neither her Dr, psychiatrist, social worker, or visiting nurse who see's her twice a week for about 10 minutes they all state she presents well and is very talkative and pleasant so I don'y know what else to do we have brought up to her about assisted living of course she said never!!!! our goal now id to have her assessment on the 29th and that the Dr can give a good prognosis on our end so we can get her in an assissted living place and become her conservator so that we can make her decisions forher as she can no longer make them for herself. because we are all burnt out and can't care for her 24 hours a day.   Can anyone relate to what I'm going through is she in the last stages ofthis disease what else should I worry about what advise can you give me I just need to hear from anyone to give me some piece of mind should I be doing more or less. Please Help. PR Glo