I knew the time came to place my Gma in a center is when she was doing odd things in the middle of the night as well as
opening doors. I was afraid that she may wander off on me at night. It also came down to the fact that I just couldn't handle it anymore because my own health was suffering as well as the emotional impact it was having on my family (my kids and hubby). So I found a really good assisted living center for her. This place allows them freedom to roam but there are doors that are security locked so they can't wander outside. It has an inner court yard so they can go outside anytime. I think that you will know when is the right time to place your father in a home. Every one is different on how much they can handle. Incontinence can be from various things especially diverticulosis which is very common in the elderly. Does you father take fiber or eat alot of fruits and veggies?