hi padraig and lyn,
thank youy so much for replying.
and sorry for ur losses
it seems like there are days when i can cope somewhat and theres days where all i want to do is lay in bed and hide from the world.
padraig, ur post really touched my heart!
my hubby is like urself, he too was in care and never knew what love was...even today he struggles with this.
hes often told me i could have done better him
funny thing is i couldnt have done any better
what other man would stood by me,with me looking after my mam and dad for almost 10 years!
hes been my rock throughout all the struggles i've had with mam and dad and was always there with a shoulder for me to cry on when things got too much for me.
i'm sure your wife felt the same about you, and yes, if your anything like my hubby you may have had your moments, but u were there for ur wife till the end and thats what counts!!!
i know in my heart that my mam wouldnt want me to waste my life being miserable, and i'm sure your wife would have felt the same!
i think we need to run with the good days and make the most of them, and do whatever comfort's us on the bad days.
i so get what u mean about going to ring ur mam or dad. i actually went to the counter to buy a sleeveless jumper for my dad and ran out of the shop bawling because i realised he was no longer with me...i must have seemed a right fool to the casheir.
i always thought that life is so strange...its like 1.2.3 and ur gone and everybody goes back to their lives.
but having had both parents die, i realise that it only seems like that, its the family thats left behind who are left to deal with the loss and greif and the pain of losing someone they love.
i have a question,do either of u still talk to the ppl who passed?
when i get really bad days, i talk to my parents asking them to help me get through the day.
sounds mad i know, but it helps.
all the best,