Hello: I just had a bit of furthur detail, an up to dater, so to say. My Father is relatively content, in a Non-lockdown Seniors residence, just about twenty minutes from here. He is still wait-listed for a bed in the Nursing Home, that his wife is currently housed in. Generally, the Provincial Health Authority tries to place spouses in the same nursing home. My stepmother seems to enjoy most of her days where she is at. However, were my Dad to go to that particular home, he could probably be allowed to leave the locked unit, and visit with her twice a day. The staff on my stepmother's unit, know my Dad and like him, he can be funny and endearing, at the same time, when something isn't bothering him. Primarily, though, what I'm struggling with is, if he were to be moved to stepmom's facility, he would be on a "lock-down unit," only allowed out when accompanied by staff, or family (I guess).
My Steomom is relatively fragile (Four serious health problems, Stroke(s), Diabetes, recent hip replacement, and kidney Disease) She has to be hooked up to a dialysis machine (peritoneal dialysis) every four to six hours, and my understanding is that the process only clears out 20% or so, of toxins. She is not a candidate for a kidney implant due to her fragile condition due to the other factors, plus her age, plus she won't quit smoking. Then if she were to pass, and my Father was there b/c she is there, he would be in a locked facility, not the free to roam facility he now enjoys, (I guess). I'm not sure that if I were to move closer to the city, and he'd allready had a move from where he is to where she is, and she passes, since there is such a long wait list, they wouldn't be keen to move him a third time (nor would it be good for him as the disorientation is a biggy).
I feel really isolated in all this decision making. All my sibs want to talk about is money. I was good enough to care for Dad 24/7/360, for two years and two months, but they consider me not responsible to handle the business (financial) aspect. However, since I am POA for both parents, and my Dad stipulated me while he was still mentally competent (Doctor's assessment, in writing) at the time he appointed me, as was she, they (my absentee sibs) have little power to influence the outcome(s)
I know they are angry about all this, and I'm sorry for that but it is what it is. The farm will be sold this month to go towards settling the debt with the bank, and hopefully a few other outstanding bills but the house is about to be condemmed and burnt (by fire marshall b/c it's in terrible condition) For about five or more years they had leaks all over, the roof is caving, and were someone to clrawl in and have a roof fall on them, or the towering crumbling chimney, who would be blamed? Any thoughts?