It's coming up to two years since the love of my life passed away. 52 years of marriage passed so quickly and now I'm left to reflect on my life, and what a life it's been!
Myrio, I understand only too well your fear of ever suffering with Alzheimer's. Almost daily I find myself checking for signs of failing short term memories. Fear, was about the first thing I learned in life, but I also learned to deal with it. There are advantages and disadvantages in life and every aspects of life and when you see the disadvantages as challenges to overcome, you become stronger and reap the rewards.
I owe a big thank you to Healing Well for the support I received during my care giving years. Some of you may remember my story of caring alone for my wife 24/7 365 days for four years and eight months. I had removed her from a Nursing Home when she could no longer speak, move and rigidity had set in. She was skin and bone suffered with bad pressure sores. I chose to stop all medication except for liquid pain killer. Two months after arriving home one evening, I summoned a doctor for advice. He advised that I not sit holding her hand over night, as she was likely to pass away when I went to the bathroom or to make a drink.
Somehow I managed to bring her back to physical health and we enjoyed an extra four and a half years together!
Strange as it may seem I now find life much harder without my soul mate. I would happily swap places to be caring for her in the blink of an eye. She was my salvation, my purpose for living. She left me with the strength to carry on because she made me whole.
Had I not suffered the whole of my childhood by being locked away from the outside world and deemed a criminal at age two by the courts in Ireland and sentenced to 14 years detention, I could never been capable of caring as I did. For a child to grow up never to experience love, never mind nurture, when love walks into such a person's life they don't let it go.
Without a formal education, I managed to learn so very much about the strange new world I was released into as a 16year old. For the first time the hidden story of every kind of abuse inflicted on children in the Industrial Schools system in Ireland, was released to a shocked world in May of this year. So long my secret shame is no more but theirs to live with.
I'm hoping that by writing about my experiences of how I viewed caring for my wife, will help in some small way those caring for loved ones. Had I just written of my getting up each morning at 04.40AM and going for a run, then to do the caring, washing, cleaning, cooking, shopping, etc every single day for years on end, it would be hard to believe.
With that in mind I have written about my background and life after I found love.
My book is going into production on Thursday and it's titled; 'Dare to Dream'.
about fear; to me it means that someone, or some thing has control over you. Once I took control of our lives my fear vanished, I became a winner.
Hope this post is not too long.
May your God go with you.