Newbie With Questions

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
[ << Previous Thread | Next Thread >> ]

Vannie
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2010
Total Posts : 795
   Posted 12/19/2010 10:59 PM (GMT -6)   
Hello, everyone,
 
I have been reading posts for some time, but I have never posted.  My father and step mother live w/my husband and myself. They have their own living room, bedroom and bath on one side of the house. My dad is 83, and my step-mom is 76.  My step-mom's mother had Alzheimers.  Grandma was a sweet, sweet woman who went from being a peacemaker to a reclusive person who became easily irritated and somewhat hostile.
 
I'm afraid my step-mom has AD. My dad is still mentally sharp.  His issues are more physical.  He told me a year ago that mom might have AD, but we had to be extra careful around her now because she is "sensitive".  He says he can't make her go to the doctor for a diagnosis.
 
I hesitate to say this, but it is hard to distinguish between what might be AD and what is just her personality.  She has never been a people person and is an abrupt communciator.
 
Here is an example of something I found rather bizarre.  I would like to know what you all think about this.
 
I mowed the yard...we live in the country, so I mow about five acres...on a riding lawn mower and some grass ended up on this old dog house that she built years ago for some stray that showed up.  It hasn't been used since, but we dare not throw it out.  Mom was really ticked off. She was not happy at all that I got grass on her dog house.  I saw her go out to the barnyard with a bucket of water and a cloth.  She actually washed the grass off that old dog house.  She was angry at me about it and was not very friedly for days.  Isn't that sort of strage behaivor, even for someone who has always been a little different???
 
Mom has always been sort of nosey, but she is getting worse, I think. And she goes out into the garage, or the basement and moves things all around.  She moves my husband's tools and then he can't find anything.  She goes through my cabinets and rearranges my baking goods, etc.
 
She doesn't do much real cooking anymore.  During the week they eat leftovers, TV dinners, pizza and soup.  They go to the Senior Center twice a week for lunch, so that is real food.  I cook at lot on the weekends, so they eat with us.
 
Mom also seems to not understand conversations anymore.  She just doesn't seem to be able to grasp the main part of the conversations going on around her. She can't think of the right words to use either.
 
Does this sound like a possible problem, or am I just overreacting?
 
Thank you so much for your input.
 
V

SnowyLynne
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2004
Total Posts : 1539
   Posted 12/20/2010 1:34 AM (GMT -6)   
You have a problem & she needs to see a Dr.....Like it or not......
SnowyLynne

Red_34
Elite Member


Date Joined Apr 2004
Total Posts : 23551
   Posted 12/20/2010 6:12 AM (GMT -6)   
I agree with Snowy. She needs to get to the doctor. Trick her if you have to but if she has dementia, they have medications that can slow down the progression. Forgetting words and moving things are usually the first indications of a dementia forming.
SHERRY
Moderator-Allergies/Asthma and Alzheimer's, Co-moderator-UC
~Left sided Uc-'92**Unable to tolerate ALL mesalamines**
Colazal(9 daily)/6mp(50mgs)/Bentyl-Prilosec~allergies-Singulair/Zyrtec~Reynauds Syndrome~OA-Tylonel Arthritis~Scoliosis~Sacroilitis~Dry eye-Restasis/GAD - Klonopin (.25mgs)

Lonie
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2005
Total Posts : 6448
   Posted 12/26/2010 7:20 PM (GMT -6)   
Yes, my Mom has dementia, and she moves things around all the time. My Dad was in the hospital, so she stayed with us, and she literally circled around in the guest room for hours, taking things out of her bag, folding them, putting them back in, hanging things up, then taking them and putting them back in her bag. She also blames my Dad for moving things. Also, she was a fantastic cook, but doesn't do it anymore because we finally figured out that she can't follow a recipe or remember what she put into the meal she is cooking. My Dad said things were raw and not cooked. It's a tough situation and my Mom's mental capacity is dwindling fast. My Dad's hospital stays seem to make things worse; she gets stressed and nervous. I totally agree with the above posters; get her to a doctor even though she doesn't want to go. I'm to the point now that I can't ask, I just tell them what! It's tough, but needs to be done.

SmurfyShadow
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 2386
   Posted 12/28/2010 7:17 AM (GMT -6)   
I wonder if you can arrange with a doctor ahead of time to pretend you are the patient describing what your husband says you do (which is really your step mother) and have her come with you. Say you need someone with you cuz you dont know if you can remember what they say.
Don't Care Bout Nuffin No More, Guess I shouldnt even be in this world

redkimber
New Member


Date Joined Dec 2010
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 12/28/2010 4:37 PM (GMT -6)   
To some point I'm sure shes realizing that something is going on with her "mentally". For anyone getting older thats a really hard thing to admit. Their slowly losing their independence and understanding and thats a hard thing to acknowledge. Especially to love ones who know you better. I wouldn't necessarliary lie to her to get her to the doc but to maybe make her feel its YOU that needs to see the doc and you need her help for confirmation. No one likes to think that maybe its THEM with the issues but to need to "be of help" for someone else is much easier to accept. Reguardless of what you have to do... its a moment by moment decision. Theres no set answer or right answer for each situation. My heart goes out to you on many levels od what your doing now and what is to come. Hang in there!

Vannie
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2010
Total Posts : 795
   Posted 1/16/2011 10:51 PM (GMT -6)   
Thank you all for your replies. I came back to this board today, because I think Mom is getting worse. I ususally cook most, if not all, meals on the weekend. Dad wanted minute steaks for lunch today, so she had some and said she would cook lunch. That was a mistake. She can't seem to coordinate cooking more than one thing at once. We came home from church and she had not started the vegetables which take 30 minutes to steam, but the meat was already done. I walked by the oven and found it on broil. She thought she had turned it off. I have an appointment next month w/my doctor which is also her doctor. I think it is time I talk to the doctor about this. Mom sees her from time to time. I know this may be hard to believe, but I cannot make Mom do anything. She is very stubborn and gets very angry if I try to tell her anything. Then that upsets my dad who is 83 and doesn't need his blood pressure to go any higher. I guess I will start w/a talk with the doctor and hopefully she will be able to help me with advice, etc. I don't know where else to start. I have had a lot of health issues myself this year. I have chronic pain and I finally gave in and started taking the pain meds prescribed by my rheumatologist. They are helping a lot, which is great. I was barely able to function before I started taking the medication. Mom, on the other hand, has some arthritis, but she has more energy than I do. So, so strange.

Thank you all again. You are very helpful, and kind, and I so appreciate your input.

V
Fibromyalgia, Inflammatory Arthritis, Osteoarthritis, Asthma, High BP, DDD, Bulging Discs in Cervical & Lumbar Spine, GERD, Prediabetic
Prednisone, Lexapro, Cardizem, Lisinopril, Advair, Lipitor, Vit D, Joint Supplements, Soma, Tramadol, Fish Oil Supplements
I take one day at a time, and try to save my energy for the joy in life.

Lonie
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2005
Total Posts : 6448
   Posted 1/18/2011 3:31 PM (GMT -6)   
Vannie, it sounds like our situations are almost parallel. My Dad is 86, with heart ailments, and my Mom is just about at the same level as your Mom. Our Moms are both doing the very same things; moving things around and not being able to judge timing on meals. I just took over their finances because the bills were not getting paid. It's so hard to see this happening; my Mom was the rock who remembered everything! She worked in a business office and did financial bookwork. My husband's mother is much more advanced with this; to the point of not being able to put words together. The worst part of this is that my Mom is about a year behind my husband's Mom, so I can see what is coming. I suppose that it's bittersweet; I can prepare but who really wants to prepare for it.

Vannie
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2010
Total Posts : 795
   Posted 1/19/2011 7:39 PM (GMT -6)   
Yes, it is a painful, confusing situation. I just want to do the best I can to help the situation as much as possible. I think they both know that there is definitely something going on now. Mom was getting really hateful at times. She is now making an obvious concerted effort to be easier to get along with. And, they are both being nicer to my husband and myself. One day at a time.

Blessings,
V
Fibromyalgia, Inflammatory Arthritis, Osteoarthritis, Asthma, High BP, DDD, Bulging Discs in Cervical & Lumbar Spine, GERD, Prediabetic
Prednisone, Lexapro, Cardizem, Lisinopril, Advair, Lipitor, Vit D, Joint Supplements, Soma, Tramadol, Fish Oil Supplements
I take one day at a time, and try to save my energy for the joy in life.

SmurfyShadow
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 2386
   Posted 1/22/2011 4:48 AM (GMT -6)   
Gma starts fires on stoves, ovens and tries to expload things in microwaves. So... We stuck a child proof lock on the oven and microwave and hid the knobs of the stove and attach them during use only and hide them again. And if she tends to the wood stove, she leaves the door open and sets off the smoke alarm. *rolls eyes* it never ends lol
Don't Care Bout Nuffin No More, Guess I shouldnt even be in this world
New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
Forum Information
Currently it is Monday, July 16, 2018 11:19 PM (GMT -6)
There are a total of 2,982,279 posts in 326,983 threads.
View Active Threads


Who's Online
This forum has 161809 registered members. Please welcome our newest member, JAS01.
329 Guest(s), 4 Registered Member(s) are currently online.  Details
Jasperilla, Scaredy Cat, InTheShop, olsky