My Grandmother quit eating,new in Nursing home

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Regular Member

Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 28
   Posted 1/17/2011 7:27 PM (GMT -6)   
My Grandmother recently was put in a Assisted living nursing home because she was diagnosed with Advanced Dementia and Sundown Syndrome she has been in the Nursing Home since Early December and has not eaten a thing!She doesn't want to eat and says she is ready to go to Home to Heaven.The nursing home has given her some "shakes"that are like eating a meal and other than that water and the occasional tea is all she has had.Has anyone else had this trouble with a loved one?Any advice would be appreciated.I am afraid she will die if she doesn't eat soon and she has lost over 30 lbs and is too weak to get out of bed now!

Elite Member

Date Joined Apr 2004
Total Posts : 23551
   Posted 1/17/2011 8:54 PM (GMT -6)   
I'm afraid that if she continues to not eat that her doctor may try to put a feeding tube in. I almost had to make that decision for my Gma because even though she would eat, she wouldn't eat a lot and she was losing weight at a rapid rate. I had to go to the assisted living center and sit with her and coax her to eat more. You may have to talk to her doctor to see what his/her recommendations are.

Unfortunately, when they get it in their mind that they want to die there is not much to do. My Gma repeatedly told me that she was ready to leave and join Gpa in heaven. She had a nephrostomy tube (her kidneys were shutting down, so it's a stent to divert the urine into a bag) and she purposely pulled it out - it went in thru her back and straight into her kidney. I had to take her if for emergency replacement surgery, shortly after that her body grew toxic and she passed away.
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Date Joined Aug 2010
Total Posts : 795
   Posted 1/17/2011 9:44 PM (GMT -6)   
My grandmother got to the point that she would not eat, even if someone sat with her for a long time and tried to coax her and feed her, etc. The doctor said it was advanced Alzheimers, and that she didn't know she was supposed to eat, and she didn't feel hungry. There was nothing we could do. They finally put in a feeding tube, but she never really had any quality of life after that. The feeding tube just postponed the inevitable for a few months.

So sorry you are having to deal with this. I know it is not easy.

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Regular Member

Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 28
   Posted 1/17/2011 11:29 PM (GMT -6)   
Thank you both so much for the replies!Yes My Grandmother believes she eats you cant convince her she doesn't!We have been there in shifts daily and still no eating!It really helps to have people to talk to that understand and can help so thank you both so much for helping!

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Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 2386
   Posted 1/18/2011 5:35 PM (GMT -6)   
Some homes, will let you "check a patient out" and bring them back later. Maybe you can try taking her to one of her favorite restraunts with the entire family, and have everyone order food. That way she seees its ok to eat, by seeing you eat. Sometimes, like my Gma thinks the food is poison... so I just have something delivered then and say my mom (her daughter) made it for us to eat.
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