Mom is arguing and yelling - new behaviour

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New Member

Date Joined Apr 2011
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 4/23/2011 12:37 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi all,
My mom moved to assisted living in November, and it's beena  smooth transition up until the last couple of weeks. She is yelling at people about where they sit or don't sit, who is late to the table, and if you correct her in any way. I've seen it a little bit, but it seems worse lately.
I am calling her IPA on Monday to see about counseling that might help her cope with the changes she knows are happening. I was curious if there are any mild meds that might help. I see that ativan was a big debate on here, and I wouldn't want to risk any adverse reactions.
I just don't know next steps. Can her facility ask her to leave due to this? Will another take her like this?  She was known as the bell of the ball due to her usually very outgoing behaviour, and this is just so sad to watch and be subjected to when she turns it my way.
Any advice? I thank you all in advance... 

MT Lady
Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 969
   Posted 4/23/2011 3:55 PM (GMT -6)   
My mom was put on a very low dose of Seroquel to help agitation. Agitation is normal in someone with AD. As far as asking her to leave, I guess it just depends on the facility and how they rate. My mom is in assisted living too and I am just waiting for the phone call to tell me she will have to be moved. She struck a CNA last week and thank God, it wasn't anything awful but still, just the fact that she hit someone I thought would be grounds for her to be moved.
Best of luck
Fibromyalgia, Osteoarthritis, scoliosis, back problems, hypothyroidism.

Elite Member

Date Joined Apr 2004
Total Posts : 23551
   Posted 4/24/2011 7:56 AM (GMT -6)   
Most assisted living centers are equipped to deal with patients that have dementia or Alzheimer's. Unless she gets violent, I don't see why they wouldn't keep her. The AL center that I put my Gma in told me that if in the event they end up with a violent patient, they send them to a psych unit where they can be placed on medication; when they are stable they can come back.

Whatever an AZ or dementia patient says, you can not take it personally. I know it's hard not to but you have to remember that they are in no control over their emotions and thoughts.

They have different medications available and her doctor will be able to guide you better on what is the best one.
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New Member

Date Joined Apr 2011
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 4/24/2011 9:54 AM (GMT -6)   
Thanks much...So far just verbal outbursts and a few name calling incidents. Sometimes she denies doing it and others she says, yes I did, and he/she/they deserved it.

Makes me wonder where we are in the staging f this. She is only 68, but this all began happening about 5 years ago. The doctors dont seem to want to actually diagnose it saying, doesn't matter, the treatments are all the same. I'll be working with her IPA Mnday, and will cover all of this then...thanks so much.

Regular Member

Date Joined Apr 2011
Total Posts : 76
   Posted 5/7/2011 2:40 PM (GMT -6)   
nono  Dear missmymom, it's turely a horrific thing to see a loved one going through my  dementia or alzhmrs.I know from past experience my nanny,my mom's mom had it really bad, but was the sweetest thing in the whole wide world. Thankfully she would sit in her rocker,rockin away with her thumbaline doll. ''Do you remember those dolls????? Well that was her baby, aftera while, she couldn't remember all of our names, but she knew we loved her. She had more chocolate candy boxes in her dressers. What a riot. We were even more blessed because my 2nd cousin did her RN graduated and took a job where my grandmother was staying. She had alot i mean alot of family popping in and out whenever. I think that is key, escpecially with your mom's agitation. Sometimes they will put patience in gentle restraints, so not to hurt themselves, but also others. nono don't let that upset you.It really effects the entire family, i really can understand what your going through. maybe you can talk with her doctor i know there are meds out there that help out alot. but if you have acsess to the facility where your mom is at i would drop in as often as you can. you'd be surprised how the patient is treated when family is there. hand in there you are not alone. have a happy mothers day. susan (mazel tov)

Misty c
New Member

Date Joined May 2011
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 5/8/2011 3:22 PM (GMT -6)   
My Mom was diagnosed w/ early dementia a few mos ago. 4 yrs ago she was diagnosed w/ ovarian cancer-She's done chemo and its really taken a physical toll on Her body. My problem is that she thinks Her confusion and lack of memory are due to Chemo. We have noticed for about a yr. Her memory loss and confusion. She on the other hand is in complete denial-Thinks Her neurolgist is crazy-doesnt want to go back to Him and won't consider meds for early dementia. She actually doesnt think She is confused when its completly clear to our family and Her friends? Any advice?

Regular Member

Date Joined Apr 2011
Total Posts : 76
   Posted 5/9/2011 4:27 AM (GMT -6)   
hi missingmymom, Call the facility and get hold of the social worker who works there. If no action with her, the go the Administrator. That's what they are there for to help the patient and the family.I know there are mild anti-depressants you can inquire about with her doc. Hang in there, maybe with new med her mood may change.Try and stay close.Visit often, sometimes our loved ones know us but they just can't get it out. But at least you know what's going on and will be there to help.Good luck and keep posting. sincerely,susan (mazel tov)
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