How early Can someone get Alzheimer's?

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Jamie Graham
New Member


Date Joined Aug 2011
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 8/30/2011 12:16 PM (GMT -7)   
My mother is 58 going on 59. She was recently diagnosed with Alzheimer's because of recent traits she has been displaying (I.E being later then normal for things, forgetting the little things like her keys, cell phone and getting frustrated and mad, getting lost in same town that she has lived in all her life).  

I live 1500+ miles away from her and I have a sister who lives 2 miles away.  My sister wants me to give up everything, including my partner and job, here in Seattle and move home to So Dakota to take care of my mother. Why does she think this is fair?  Should I?  Is it a fair compramise to have my sister take care of my mother and me handle the legal/Finicial aspects of this for her?
 
Also what can I do to prepare myself with this? I have never known anyone with Alzheimer's.

Red_34
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Date Joined Apr 2004
Total Posts : 23551
   Posted 8/31/2011 5:42 AM (GMT -7)   
You're in a tough situation especially because you live so far away. No one can really tell you what to do, you have to decide for yourself. If your sister is taking care of your mother alone, with no support structure, it is going to be hard on her. Being a care taker is rough. But perhaps you can make a compromise with her somehow.

As for being prepared - that are so many different manifestations of Alzheimer's. It can remain mild with only a few memory issues or it can progress rapidly to where she will not be able to feed herself or recognize who you are. No one can say for sure how this will progress. But one thing that is extremely important is to let your mother know you love her. I suggest you read up on everything you find on the internet about AD. The more you know, the more you will feel in control. AD is very turbulent and can be rough not only on the person it affects but those around them.
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Jamie Graham
New Member


Date Joined Aug 2011
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 8/31/2011 7:12 AM (GMT -7)   
I wanted to let everyone know of an update. I have contacted DSS in my hometown to get her the help that I know she is going to need.  It was a hard decision but I had to do it.
 
As far as my sister. Her excuse is simply I don't have time. How do you have time for your own Mother? I even let her know that i could take care of the admin(paying bills and ect) for her.

Lonie
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Date Joined Feb 2005
Total Posts : 6447
   Posted 8/31/2011 12:22 PM (GMT -7)   
You were right to find some help for her. But please know that your sister is right too; it's not that she doesn't want to take care of your Mom -- it's just very time consuming and difficult especially when you are trying to take care of your own life stuff. My siblings all live about 2 1/2 hours away, so I'm left to care for both of my ailing parents (Mom has Alzheimer's) and at this point, I have no sick time left because I've been running to help them. The whole family agreed when my Dad broke the femur in his arm last year to find 24 hour care rather than place him in a skilled facility. THat's when we found out my Mom's memory was failing. I've had this service now for over a year and at a minute's notice they have been able to adjust hours to meet my parent's needs. Now they are down to 8 hours every day so someone can bathe my Mom and feed my parents, grocery shop, etc. I'm there as much as I can be, but I do hold down a full time job, and have a family to take care of as well. Plus my job requires travel. And I take care of paying their bills too! Try to work out things as a family and it will be better for your Mother. My husband is back on the east coast right now trying to do the same thing. Work together...it makes life much easier for everyone.

Lonie
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2005
Total Posts : 6447
   Posted 9/1/2011 8:44 AM (GMT -7)   
One more thing I forgot to mention to you -- I would not expect my sisters or brother to drop their lives and move here to take care of Mom and Dad. Nor would my husband's brother expect him to move back to Philly to take care of his parents. We do the best we can with our situations. Take care and hope things work out for you.

SmurfyShadow
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Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 2386
   Posted 9/17/2011 12:36 AM (GMT -7)   
Perhaps you can move mom to you? There are also programs through DHS where she can have in home care
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Ebby
New Member


Date Joined Oct 2011
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 11/1/2011 7:18 AM (GMT -7)   
I think that that is a very good compromise. Aging parents are difficult. Alzhimer's is a different ball game. No childshould be left to carry the weight, but you don't have to up rot your life either. That may only lead to anger and resentmeant toward both your sister and parent, and derease the quality of care they recieve. With my grandfather on my mother's side her sister in Maryland take care of the leagal and paper details while my mother takes care of appointments and general care and my cousin does meals, medications and day to day. Your sister may need medical transport to take him to appointment or consider an adult daycare. Alzhimer's is taxing and you don't want your sister to burn out either. Visit as mcuh as possible so that your mother will remember who you are. Somehting I am sure you want but will make taking care fo her when you are around easier. It is hard to gauge where the disease will take you next or how fast the trip. Good luck.

Inhimwelive
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2011
Total Posts : 174
   Posted 11/8/2011 3:09 PM (GMT -7)   
I have worked with Alzheimer's patients that were far more advanced then your description at an earler age.. My father died from the disease but he seemed to progress very slowly till the end.. He died at age 84. For probably 10-15 years before this I believe he had it but he was trying to hide it.. In the end it was sad.. I sat by his bedside and he kept trying to get me to leave because he didnt know me.. Its a heartbreaking illness.. I wish you the best..
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