Posted 2/9/2012 3:41 PM (GMT -6)
Good Afternoon. You have been shouldering a lot. Congratulations on finding this site and beginning the process of seeking assistance.
Your MIL has twice been lost in public so there should be 2 police reports re those incidence. She has home health already involved with her on a daily basis. Where is the social worker to do a safety assessment to decide if she is safe living alone ? I would first look into helping your husband realize he needs to call in Social Services to make a plan of care for your MIL which I am sure from what you have written will identify that your MIL needs to be in a Memory Care Center.
It may help to focus on the problem here and with gentle support your husband will understand better. This is about his Mother's safety which is at risk here. It is truly not about him or about you so if you can come together as a team I think the two of you can make life better.
Check your state's Web site under aging services. There should be contact information there and maybe someone can direct you to local services that can help.
Sometimes we need to be kind but firm when our spouses cannot deal with the reality of a dangerous situation. Let your husband know you support him but he must take responsibility for his Mother and get her to a safe place to live. As hard as it is to do, try to keep your own emotions out of this conversation and remember you had a good marriage going until his Mom became ill. You can have that back.
Please know you are not alone in this situation. Alzheimer's Disease impacts the lives of millions of Americans and their families. Scientists and researchers continue to search for new answers to help solve this devastating disease that touches the lives of so many individuals.
Do know we support you and don't give up on your husband - help educate him in the need to provide the best and safest care possible for him Mom.
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