Keeping my father safe

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New Member

Date Joined Mar 2012
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 3/1/2012 7:50 PM (GMT -6)   
My father is in an ALZ facility for almost one year now. Recently a female patient has been following him around, walking with him, holding his hand, even kissing him. She tends to find a male patient and believes him to be her husband. My mother visits my father every day and tries to keep the female patient away from him. We do not want there to be any sexual misconduct because the male patient (my father) would be blamed. It is so hard to communicate to an ALZ patient what behaviors are appropriate and hard to get them to understand simple commands sometimes. What can my mother do or the facility do to distract the female patient from the male patients?

Elite Member

Date Joined Apr 2004
Total Posts : 23551
   Posted 3/1/2012 9:20 PM (GMT -6)   
Wow, this is the first time I've read of such a thing on here! I know that when my gma was in the AL center, they kept a close eye on the male and female patients. And when a male started paying closer attention to a female, they would distract him and visa versa. Perhaps you should talk to the director of the facility and voice your concerns.
Moderator-Allergies/Asthma and Alzheimer's, Co-moderator-UC
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Angelo Samira
New Member

Date Joined Feb 2012
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 3/1/2012 9:58 PM (GMT -6)   
My grandfather has ALZ as well. But he lives in his house that he has for years with my grandmother taking care of him.
If my grandfather had this happening to him I would definitely ask the staff to watch when she comes around or ask for him to move rooms.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Feb 2005
Total Posts : 6448
   Posted 3/2/2012 10:06 AM (GMT -6)   
Yes, alert the staff -- especially the administrator. My Mom has a gentleman that does that same type of thing but not to that extreme, but they watch very closely to make sure she is not bothered by him.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 2386
   Posted 4/19/2012 3:27 PM (GMT -6)   
tinxabella said...
This isn't my forum, but I tend to come on here occasionally because my grandfather had ALZ. And he was in a similar situation with a female ALZ patient at his care facility: she would even follow him into the bathroom.

My mom asked the staff to keep an eye on my grandpa and make sure that the female patient didn't go near him in any inappropriate way. We also talked to the family of the female patient, so that they could address the staff about this issue as well.
However, the staff at my grandpa's facility were often overworked and swamped with other stuff, so couldn't watch him all the time.
We ended up requested that he be moved to a different floor where the female patient couldn't reach him, because the doors were "safe locked" so that patients couldn't wander the hospital.

Perhaps moving to a diff room, or even a diff facility.

MT Lady
Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 969
   Posted 4/19/2012 9:43 PM (GMT -6)   
This hasn't been discussed on this forum before, but it certainly does happen. I've often wondered about my mom, who has AZ, and invites ANYONE to come back to her room and share her bed! Actually, she is just lonely and wants company, at least that's what I prefer to believe. She asks me and my sisters all the time not to leave, to stay, and sleep with her. I just wonder if she invites the men on her floor??? I would hope that the staff keep a watchful eye. The problem is the door to their rooms does not lock, so anyone could walk in.

baby dumpling
New Member

Date Joined May 2012
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 5/2/2012 10:24 AM (GMT -6)   
Actually this is not uncommon.

There are devices that can be put on the bed to determine if a person gets up during the night. They are pressure sensitive and can help alert the staff to wadering risks.

There are also devices that can be worn by the person that set off alarms to alert staff if the person wanders beyond a certain point (usually beyond certain doors.)

However, these items are more geared toward wandering risks and not really designed to deter people from fraternizing with each other.

Basically, though, watchfullness and genlte redirection is what is required.

I feel a certain amount of compassion for the lady in search of her husband, but of course I do understand the concern for your father and the effect this might have on your mother, as well.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Feb 2005
Total Posts : 6448
   Posted 5/9/2012 2:24 PM (GMT -6)   

I'd say you are a spammer. If you read it correctly, the woman following around the gentleman has Alzheimers herself, and believes the gentleman is her husband. The gentleman has a wife that is trying to keep a watchful eye out for him.

Plus, your link goes right to your legal firm.

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