Oh, yes, MT Lady, all of us who have been caregivers know what you're talking about
. Dementia (by strokes or by whatever means) leaves caregivers with feelings that are difficult to describe and share.
Somehow, you have to learn that the lady whom you love so much is not the same person you knew as a youngster and that you must allow for any and almost all faulty judgments or statements that come from their mouths. They are really not aware of how others are affected by their comments.
Try to realize each time you see her that you and your sisters are doing it all for God's blessings and that no matter what is said or done, your responsibility is to help them live the last days of their life with as much comfort and as little pain as possible and all in the name of the Heavenly Father.
Be thankful for as much as you can see that resembles normalcy and know that your crown in heaven will be there for you when this is all part of the past.
Try to accept what my personal doctor told me, "we know that they're dying and that there's nothing we can do". It's the most difficult thing I ever had to accept in my life. You probably feel the same way. My husband just said "go there and do everything you can do". Those are two wise statements that carried me through the years of my mother's strokes and eventual death.
Take care of yourself. Try to allow plenty of time for yourself and for your own relaxation and interests, because caregiving is one exhausting and draining effort. You need your recovery time. You will, in the end, have the enduring positive feeling that you did all you could do; that will strengthen you immeasurably.
Take care and may God bless you all.
Post Edited (It's Genetic) : 3/29/2012 1:48:40 AM (GMT-6)