My dad has general dementia but is also affecting the front part of brain which is the personality and emotions. His personality has erred towards being rather critical and demanding and hard to please anyway but this behaviour has increased all the more since being placed in a nursing home (due to complications of an operation by the way) 3 years ago. he now no longer walks and sits all day in his room watching TV. He does not wish to leave the home for a trip out either but his feet slip off the footrest of a wheelchair anyway.
He shouts and swears and is racist towards the carers and is really impatient and hates being looked after. he is demanding towards my mum who is now not well herself and she is always trying to placate him. he calls her several times a day and sometimes these calls are just to complain and moan about the carers. WE try to be caring and empathetic to him but he sometimes shouts at us if we dont do what he asks us to do. He sometimes wants me to go to the home just to pick someting up for him - he is 30 minutes drive away from me.
The hardest thing is - how do you cope with a father than incessently complains and moans about being in a home/the carers/his life/ saying you are better off dead etc. He is not depressed and enjoys his food - which he always complains about - and looks nice enough.
Basically it is hard being empathetic towards him and would like some help on dealing with him without being mean or uncaring.