I have not slept good in at least a week. My mom has Alzheimer's, has for years. Now the time has come where I know I have to move her. The battle continues in my head day in and day out. Not over the decision itself, I know this is what I have to do, but over the conversation with my Mom about it.
I have done all the research. I found the facility. Known for being one one of the best in the country, and certainly in my area (Dallas/Fort Worth). The care she would receive there is so far above and beyond anywhere else. It isn't fancy. It may not have the luxurious feel of some of the places I've seen that make you feel like your entering a 5 star resort. But at the end of the day, its about the people, and the care she will receive, and I believe this is our place.
My mom doesn't think she has any memory issues, or none that she will admit to. So Alzheimer's is the elephant in the room no one talks about. She's lost tons of weight, she doesn't take her meds (or believe she needs to), she loses track of place and time in conversation, not to mention not making much sense much of the time. Home health care has bought us some time, but I believe moving her into a community now, when she is still conversive and able to make friends will be the best.
I have had advice all over the map on "the conversation". From, "just say you're going on a trip to X and wind up there where she has no choice" to "tell her the dr wants her to stay a while at this center to get checked out". I lean towards the honest approach. She is still my mother, and she deserves the respect of me sharing with her my concerns and that I believe fully in my heart that this will be the best thing for her and she will be happy there.
I'm not sure if I want her to be part of the process, as far as "showing her" the facility first. Because I'm afraid of the chance she will hate it and rebel. Plus, I've toured a ton, and already feel in my heart this place has the best care. But I would like to hear examples from any of you that have been through this, and maybe help me reach a conclusion on my approach. Help!