A quick update on

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Traveler
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Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 35859
   Posted 3/4/2013 7:11 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi All,
Well I have the unhappy news that "Dad" was placed into Hospice today. Of course we have our chins up, but it doesn't look like he's going to make it too much longer. We likely only have months with him now. shakehead

The good news is that means that we will finally be getting some respite care!! The 'ball' has been dropped several times now with things like getting respite care, getting training on how to lift "Dad" from the bed (we've hurt us and "Dad" now thanks to this! mad), and a few other things. We are hoping Hospice has it together enough to not drop the ball....or they won't like the person I will become at this stage in "Dad's" life. No one gets to do that any more, and I'm just stubborn enough to be likely the loudest squeaky wheel they've ever heard! devil

So hubby and I are looking forward to having a few days to sleep more than 2 hours at a time and being able to stay in bed for more than the 6 hours of broken sleep we've been getting! It'll also be interesting to sit down during an entire meal!!!! wink
Treating with Acupuncture, Traditional & Modern Chinese Medicine & Western Herbs. Before tx, I had all but 20 of the symptoms on the "Master Symptom List" for Lyme disease.

"Absence of proof is not proof of absence" - Dr. Edwin Masters, great LLMD & researcher -RIP

Questions about what I've posted or just have questions? Please email me!!! Click on the blue envelope under my screen name

Red_34
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Date Joined Apr 2004
Total Posts : 23549
   Posted 3/4/2013 8:18 PM (GMT -7)   
Awww I'm so so sorry to hear this! I didn't think he was that bad off to be in hospice?? What's been happening?
SHERRY
Moderator-Allergies/Asthma, Alzheimer's, IBS, Co-moderator-UC
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Traveler
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Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 35859
   Posted 3/5/2013 6:17 AM (GMT -7)   
It's been kind of crazy. Everyone -including the Hospice nurse that was here yesterday has been surprised at how quickly he seemed to decline. Although he did hit his head pretty hard just before the first of the year and then again just three weeks ago.

I did some reading (of course), and read that hits to the head can bring on more severe symptoms and decline with Alzheimer's/dementia patients. So I think that had a lot to do with this sudden decline.

The biggest decline has been over the last three weeks since the last hit to the head. He had gone into his room as he was agitated that dinner wasn't ready as soon as he said he was hungry (LOL!) and we believe he sat down in his chair, but when he tried to get up, he lost his balance and fell - hitting his head against the wall pretty hard. We rushed him in to the Emergency room of course and he ended up with 9 staples in the top of his head! Scared the day lights out of all of us! It took a few days for the sudden decline to start, but by around day 4 after the last hit to the head, we could see that he was losing even more cognitive function, and fast.

The other thing is that we don't really know how bad things were before he moved in with us as he lived alone. All we knew was that he was always "very busy" and was never ready when we got there to take him anywhere - not that that was an issue, we just waited for him to get ready or changed our plans. BUT - no one knew for sure how well he got along on his own.

The nurse said it was possible that once he moved in with us, he felt safe and cared for and had a 'rally' that he otherwise wouldn't have had. I kind of cornered the Hospice nurse and asked about what time period she's seen the most when a patient is at this point and she said he's likely only got a few months left.

He now can't even get out of bed, he can't stand on his own and can hardly sit up for long without sliding out of the chair. He's beginning to have trouble swallowing liquids and his pills. He goes days without wanting any food and just wants to sleep much of the time. After reading the Hospice notebook we got, it all fits into the "timeline" that it talks about as a person nears the end of their life.

My heart breaks for my husband now as he goes through loosing his Dad.
Treating with Acupuncture, Traditional & Modern Chinese Medicine & Western Herbs. Before tx, I had all but 20 of the symptoms on the "Master Symptom List" for Lyme disease.

"Absence of proof is not proof of absence" - Dr. Edwin Masters, great LLMD & researcher -RIP

Questions about what I've posted or just have questions? Please email me!!! Click on the blue envelope under my screen name

Lonie
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2005
Total Posts : 6447
   Posted 3/6/2013 8:11 AM (GMT -7)   
Traveler, I'm so sorry to hear about your beloved father in law. I can tell you that we had Hospice in for my Mom, my Dad, and my mother in law -- and they were the most amazing folks ever. Every little thing was taken care of and if it wasn't, all you have to do is call and they will be there for you. Now is the time to let them help you as much as possible so that you have time to spend with that precious man. Take care, and thinking of you.
 
Carol

Traveler
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Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 35859
   Posted 3/6/2013 12:39 PM (GMT -7)   
Thank you Carol. I really appreciate your kind words. I only hope that Hospice provides much more help than any one else here has. This man deserves some decent care. My husband and I are doing everything we can to provide for him, but it's worse than pulling toe nails trying to get help here in this area. It sure tells me what I'll be doing when we get through our own ordeal - volunteering my time on forums and on the phone to help others going through this. Had we know half of what we know now, we would have been able to get much more help not only for "Dad", but for us as well.

Again, thank you for your kind words, and sorry for the short rant.
Treating with Acupuncture, Traditional & Modern Chinese Medicine & Western Herbs. Before tx, I had all but 20 of the symptoms on the "Master Symptom List" for Lyme disease.

"Absence of proof is not proof of absence" - Dr. Edwin Masters, great LLMD & researcher -RIP

Questions about what I've posted or just have questions? Please email me!!! Click on the blue envelope under my screen name

Lonie
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2005
Total Posts : 6447
   Posted 3/6/2013 1:07 PM (GMT -7)   
I remember the days I was in the same predicament -- it's so tough Traveler. Some days I wanted to scream, "Why can't I get any help?"
 
I can remember when Hospice took over and I was so amazed at everything that was taken care of without me having to do a thing...which was unusual. The nurses are superb and provide great relief -- they are experts in dealing with this stage in life. I said the same thing; I'll try and guide whomever I can through this process. I'm 54, and so many people around me are dealing with the same elderly parental issues, and it's good to have somewhat of a support group. One thing we all agree on is that our age group really is the first to have to deal with the aging parent issues on such a large scale, so it's fairly new territory for most of us. You and your husband are doing a fantastic job. I still question if I should have done things differently sometimes, but you do the best you can at the time. Take care, and be proud and happy that you are providing the best care possible for your father in law. Hugs, Carol

Traveler
Forum Moderator


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 35859
   Posted 3/6/2013 1:22 PM (GMT -7)   
Thank you so much for the encouragement, Carol. Things like that can and do mean the world to me - I'm sure you can relate, having gone through this yourself.
Treating with Acupuncture, Traditional & Modern Chinese Medicine & Western Herbs. Before tx, I had all but 20 of the symptoms on the "Master Symptom List" for Lyme disease.

"Absence of proof is not proof of absence" - Dr. Edwin Masters, great LLMD & researcher -RIP

Questions about what I've posted or just have questions? Please email me!!! Click on the blue envelope under my screen name
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