TexasTornadoDeb -- how are you?

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Veteran Member

Date Joined Feb 2005
Total Posts : 6448
   Posted 7/11/2013 8:21 AM (GMT -6)   
Hey -- just checking in to see how you are doing!

TexasTornado Deb
New Member

Date Joined Jul 2013
Total Posts : 8
   Posted 10/7/2013 6:43 PM (GMT -6)   
Thank you for asking! While my husband had seemed adamant about my parents going in a home, he has now changed, albeit not too dramatically, his more intimate caring of my parents has now left him with a dilemma of his own. He does not think he will do well with putting my parents in a home, and has backed off his stance.

Last month my mother's Psychiatrist prescribed meds for sleeping which has helped so much! Next is Dad's visit. While both have been in AD Specialty Hospitals (Mom - 3 times, Dad - once) I don't care for those places either. They seem to take away too much of the patients dignity and are so institutionalized, even so much as looking like a prison. It was very difficult to find a Psychiatrist who would treat geriatric and accept medicare. We are hoping that this doctor will help avoid further hospitalizations in AD hospitals.

It seems as if now, it's harder for me. I get so tired and wonder myself how long I can continue with caring for my folks. It's not easy having two AD patients in home, but I am realizing that since April of last year, I have yet to have a break of any sorts and respite is desperately needed! Both my parents are too advanced for any Day Programs, which was a disappointment. Medicare won't pay if they are unable to retain, which sounds crazy when it's for AD patients to begin with. So I am searching for other avenues to give my husband, daughter and I a break. Any ideas are always welcome!

I can't find the original thread I posted in; so anyone linking this one to that one would be helpful.

Again, thanks for asking and your concern!

TexasTornado Deb
New Member

Date Joined Jul 2013
Total Posts : 8
   Posted 3/11/2014 12:14 AM (GMT -6)   
I thought I would post an update and see if anyone is familiar with what we are now going through. I ended up the end of December getting hospice for my father. He had forgotten so much, and having a nurse's aide come out every day was great for Dad and us. It was very difficult to give him a shower/bath. I asked the aide to come out early in the morning to give him a shower before breakfast because when his mind was well, he always showered before even coffee. The first time he was given that shower, he was SO happy! He was smiling all day. Unfortunately, Dad got where he had no control over this legs and so it was too hard for the aide to shower him instead giving him a sponge bath. The hospice group were awesome, nurses, doctors, etc. I have seen things I do not like with the home health care team and honestly did not expect so much.

One day my father said that the couch was too hard and he wanted a hospital bed put in the living room. We had the hospice order one and it came within 24 hrs. He was comfortable, could sleep easier during the day, and he was still in an area of the house that we could all see him. It didn't seem to take long and Dad started a deep decline mentally and physically. Around Jan. 12th I called my brothers and told them Dad wouldn't last long and for them to come. They had not been around or helped the entire 2 years I was here. But, despite their lack of involvement, I knew they loved our parents. My eldest brother arrived on a Wednesday and was able to spend time with Dad and be fairly alert. My younger brother came on the next Friday and Dad didn't open his eyes or speak anymore. He passed away on January 19th, my mother's birthday.

My mother seemed to handle it all better than expected. She seemed so strong. I had to stay strong too for her. So I really never cried, and have just looked after her. about 2 weeks ago my mother's health and Alzheimer's took a steep decline. I am very worried about her and no doctors are helping! She sprained her ankle and we are keeping it in a splint type cast and elevating it, as there is a lot of swelling. The odd thing is that there is no bruising or red marks.

Besides having a sprained ankle, mom has had diarrhea, sores on her face and is very sensitive to pain over her entire body. Her potassium is extremely low; 2.4 with normal being 3.5-5.0. All her other blood work was perfect. She's on supplements, but I don't know how long they take to get her levels up to normal. She's also diabetic, but that too on Glucose test was perfect, so the Metformin the doctor had discontinued as they can upset the stomach. Took mom to her gastro dr too, and he took stool samples, .but it seems doubtful he knows anything as he hasn't called. Mom is scheduled to see him on the 17th.

We keep seeing things that Dad did prior to passing from Mom now and it's scaring us. My parents were married for 58 years! She is remembering now more that he has passed. I am so afraid we'll lose her like Dad, and I always thought she'd live another 10 years at least. She's 77 now. If anyone knows anything this could be with the sores and pain sensitivity and possibly the sores being another symptom. I am grateful for any info or help I can get from the community here!

God Bless you all!

TexasTornado Deb
New Member

Date Joined Jul 2013
Total Posts : 8
   Posted 4/22/2014 8:13 PM (GMT -6)   
My mother passed away on May 26th, 2014. I haven't been able to do much though. The grieving process is so very difficult right now. I am also executors for both my parents wills and there are some things I need to do with the house before listing for sale.

I have also run unto a problem with one of my brothers ... he's crazy. He accused me of killing my mother. He actually called the Sheriff's office and D.A. The Sheriff interviewed me, which was something I could have never dreamed could happen. My younger brother (he's 53) never wanted to know what was happening with my parents. Whenever I called him to give me him news of my parents' illness, he'd get upset and say that knowing what was wrong was making his blood pressure go up and he'd just hang up! I don't know what happened to him. He used to be a good guy. But this person he has become, is a monster! How could any sibling who had a clue about how much love is needed to care with someone with Alzheimer's could think this way, is way beyond my understanding of human nature. My brother has never been able to make it on his own, he's always had financial support from my parents his entire life. I've been just the opposite, having too much pride to ever ask for a dime! I found that managing my life was easier to do alone. I don't care for owing anyone either nor telling anyone if I did have a financial problem. I always managed to make it.

I suppose another reason I am dragging my heels is that I don't want problems during the probate of the wills. Plus, right now, I could add up all the money they gave him and give to the courts as a loan and he wouldn't get a dime. Feeling this way, I thought perhaps my own reasoning would be more generous in nature to him if I did wait. I have never wanted to make a decision when angry. And, yes, I am angry. I loved both my parents SO much, it hurts so bad to have this empty void from caring for them and missing them so much. My brother made things worse on me. I hope I can one day forgive him and do what my parents would have wanted me to do.
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