I have a similar situation with my mother, but I live a 40-mile roundtrip away from her home (or former home since it is now sold).
I can imagine how exhausting it must be even with a part-time caregiver, at least for most of the past two years.
My mothers demetia (so similar to alzheimers) was diagnosed around Easter of 2011, but it's clear now she had been fading for many years prior - and with the help of way too much alcohol for decades.
She did have a full-time live-in caregiver for 15-months - expensive but needed .... as I am battling advanced cancer myself. She went thru the night fears ... and wandering thru the house - and once outside to a neighbors at 3am. She's called the police once and attempted it one other time - thinking someone was stalking her in her own home in the middle of the night.
As it turns out, she did have more than one mini-stroke ... the third one sending her to the hospital - which then led to the hospital psychiatrist saying she cannot go back home unless she was under the full-time care of an RN. Impossible in costs!
So she started in an Assisted Living Home - for Dementia and Parkinsons - in September of 2012. As you may know, there is a tremendous difference between Assisted Living and a Nursing Home. I looked at both ... several different ones.
She has been there for 16-months so far. As you might know, either are very expensive. I had to sell her home last Summer. It was vacant for close to one year - with taxes, insurance and minimum utilities paid + grass-cutting. So, it cost $6k just to sit there - and she will never return to her home. She's 96 now and the dementia keeps getting worse.
Now that the house had been sold, there is enough money to keep her at that home for close to 3-more years ... before she has to go to a medicaid nursing home ... a terrible alternative.
As you do your research, you may be surprised how expensive either type of home is. But then, so is having a full-time caregiver in a house she was paying for. In fact, that was slightly more money living in her own home.
Whatever you do .......... you must take some breaks away from all the depression that this viscious disease loads onto you. Your husband doesn't mean anything he's doing ..... it's this disease. Please remember that.
Rob & Gizmo