I too lost my mother to Dementia. It was on January 14, 2014. I think, the medicaid choices of care are either very limited - or are mostly poor in quality.
The term "Nursing Home" is sometimes over-used or mis-used. It seems to be a catch-all for aged care .... and that's just not complete at all.
My mothers last 16-months were in an Assisted Living Home for Dementia and Parkinsons. It was a wonderful place of caring - with daily programs to keep the mind busy, weekly entertainment brought in and very decent food. I ate there three times - always unannounced!
Yes ..... it is more expensive than most any medicaid facility.
However, I watched my grandmother (mothers mother) die of alzheimers complications while she spent her last 3-years or so in a medicaid nursing home. Yep - it was cheap. Yep - it was disgusting. But .... I guess my mother chose to put her there and pcket grandma's savings. Nasty - but true!!!!
When it came time for mother to have help, she first stayed at home with 24/7 care - a required by her doctor - for 15-months. Then, the Dementia got to the point, again according to her doctor, for her to now have daily care by a registered nurse - not a home caregiver any more.
So ....... for 31-months, a lot of money was spent on her care. Much of that was grandmas money ... and then my mothers house was sold - to help keep her in the Assisted Living Home for up to another 20-months or so.
If the finances don't allow it, the medicaid choices are not good. In my mothers case, I didn't care if all of her money was used to keep her out of a medicaid facility. I saw what it did to my grandmother 25-years ago.
Wishing you peace and wellness
Rob & Gizmo