My mom has had the visible signs of Alzheimers

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New Member

Date Joined Aug 2005
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 8/22/2005 11:54 PM (GMT -6)   
First let me say how happy i am to have found this forum! :-)
My mom has had the visible signs of Alzheimers for the past 3-4 years.
She lived in Greece (where i grew up) and i had to go pick her up and bring her here to MA.
I have been able to take care of her and my dad pretty well so far but lately her memory has not only gotten worse but her walking worries me sometimes.
Also she tends to stay in bed too much and not interact ( my dad isn't a big talker and i'm not home some of the day).
I was thinking of getting someone to help her out. Right now i have work, i'm taking care of mom and dad and the housework....... and three dogs and a cat (my one dog is diabetic and blind and on insulin). Its getting to be way too much for me.
I don't know how to go about getting someone to care for her. Someone who would do some light housework and keep mom company during the day- as well as take care of some of her needs like bathing and toileting. She still walks around ok in the house and her memory isn't bad enough yet...... i'm trying to avoid a nursing home as long as i possibly can.
My other concern is how much money would it cost to have someone come in..... even if its a few times a week to take a little pressure off me. Where do i look for someone and can i even afford it?
I had someone taking care of my aunt in Greece and that girl is very interested in coming over here. She has a small child though and i think it would be difficult..... I don't know what to do.
Can anyone suggest anything at all?
Thank you for any help!

Post Edited By Moderator (Admin) : 8/23/2005 9:42:34 AM (GMT-6)

Elite Member

Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 8/23/2005 10:48 AM (GMT -6)   
.......You can reach the Alzheimers society chapter in your area and hopefully you will get your answers there .......i am sorry that you are dealing with this all alone and sounds like you need some help ...........this forum has alot of great peeps to talk to when you are at your wits end so please keep posting and let us know how you are doing............Take care and God Bless ......Lyn..........My info is under my name if you want to talk ok ......Lyn
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    I cannot keep your feet from stumbling..........I can only offer my hand that you might grasp it and not fall...........Lyn  
Modeator for Crohn's,Anxiety/ Panic and Alzheimers 

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 8616
   Posted 8/23/2005 8:37 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Angell!

Welcome to the forum!! Yup!! There is one in every family. Mighty Woman!!!! to the rescue!!

Good idea to get some house help and company for your mom. As things progress with my dad we have found that he is eligible for some Hospice care too. You might look into that depending on how bad off your mom is.

God bless you for taking care of your mom and everything else you do. Don't forget to make your needs a priority too sis!!

In His Grip,
AlwaysRosie          "We can't control the waves, but we can learn to surf!"
Psalms 139
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Regular Member

Date Joined Mar 2005
Total Posts : 344
   Posted 9/17/2005 1:48 AM (GMT -6)   
Dear Angel,

God Bless You for taking care of your parents. And for taking care of your poor doggie. That in itself would be a big enough work load for me.

I am not well now. However when I was younger I was widowed at a young age and had a son to raise. My job was very demanding with long hours. I had tried various types of care giving for my son before and after school and I hired a cleaning lady once a week to help out.

However the best thing I ever did was to hire a nanny from another country.
First I hired a recently widowed grandma from Korea. She wanted to come to Canada. She had family here. It turned out her family lived close to my home, so she just stayed with me during the day and evening and went home at night. But that woman was a life saver. After about two years she got home sick so she returned to Korea.

My next nanny was from Finland. She was a young girl. She did not do much around the house, but she was good with my son. Same story she got homesick and returned to Finland.

My third nanny was from Ecuador. She was actually a medical doctor in Ecuador. She also had family here. She lived with me during the week and went home to her family on the weekends.

I found all of these nannies, just by word of mouth. I mentioned to work colleagues that I was looking for someone. Nearly everyone seemed to know someone who wanted the opportunity to live in Canada or the States.

So I just had to prove to the government that I had put out ads in the local paper and did not find a suitable Canadian, and then I was allowed to hire these people.

I always found they were hard working, honest, and were good company for me too!!! When I came home exhausted dinner was always cooked and I had someone besides my dog and cat and little guy that I could talk to. I also found their rates were reasonable. When my son was older, I was able to allow them to pursue English classes or other daytime jobs as long as they were available for before school and about three hours after school. If they had other work, I paid them less because they did less housework.

So if I were you I would definitely look into it. How old is the child of this woman in Greece? Do you have the space? Are your animals good with children?

I know very little about Alzheimer’s. But I do know about taking care of parents, and the loneliness and frustration of trying to be all things to all people.

If you ever want to just vent or talk my email is on my profile, just click on my name.

My heart goes out to you. You are really being an angel to your parents.

Do you think your mom sleeps because of boredom, or is it a side effect of meds? Did your parents ever live in the US before? How well do they speak English?

Are there any day programs that your mom could go to?

A friend of mines mom had Alzheimer’s and while it was in the early stages there was a day program, paid for by the city that she could go to. She had to bring lunch in a brown paper bag. That part did not impress my friend's mom since she was used to a hot lunch. However, the city sent a special little mini bus to pick up her mom and drive her back home. I think she went two or three times a week and she said it was a life saver for her. She made friends at the program and enjoyed the crafts that they did. Sometimes school groups or church groups would come in and do a little presentation for them. My friend also got to meet some other people who were caring for parents with Alzheimer’s like herself. Perhaps they would let your dad go along as well.

You might also consider seeing if there is a “Greek” centre in your neighbourhood that runs programs.

Just a thought.

Take care, and god bless,

Elite Member

Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 9/22/2005 11:40 PM (GMT -6)   
Angel ......Hi and Welcome to the forum again lol(I did welcome you once already but it never hurts to do it again).......yes God Bless you for all you do for your MOm ,Dad and the animals as well .........Have you tried the Alzheimer's Socity where you live yet?............Over here in Ontario they will get peeps to come and take her out ,get her doing things and just basiclly respite care.........I offered that at the retirement home I once owned and I was literally getting people bringing their loved ones in every day or at least a couple times a week .......the interaction was good for them as well as doing crafts and I even hired a School bus fro the local company to take all of the residents as well as the daily /occasional persons coming in to go for a pic nic at Storybook Gardens in London Ont (very popular and beautiful place .........All staff came w/o pay (their decision) and we had the greatest time ..........I am sure that you should be able to find someone thru there or they may have some suggesstions for you ........Respite care is offered at most places (homes) but not all and I am sure that would be a great option as well can only do so much before you will end up sick and then they will have no one to look after them .....and we did allow the significant other to accompany them to the home as well .......Honestly I would look into this even if you have her go for just one day a will get a break and she will have fun as well .........Please look after yourself and come vent here any time........ we are here for you...........keep us posted ...........God Bless and take care .....BTW I look after my Mom who has this DD and it is hard but I get alot of joy in being around her,doing things with her and just letting her know that I love her (even if she cant comprehend it anymore) .........I know that I am doing what I can do for her and thats what matter's to me ............I am taking her out next week for a coffee and to socialize at the senior centre here in town...........God Bless you and again keep us posted...........Lyn
Contribute today to support Healing Well Forums...Donate @
    I cannot keep your feet from stumbling..........I can only offer my hand that you might grasp it and not fall...........Lyn  
Moderator for Crohn's,Anxiety/ Panic and Alzheimers 
  Only after the last tree has been cut down...only after the last river has been poisoned...only after the last fish has been caught.....Only then will you find that money cannot be eaten.......                                 

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